I absolutely think that parents should reap what they sow with their children .. both good and bad.
It sucks sometimes in these stepparenting situations because the stepparent always gets stuck dealing with what the parent did or didn't do .. both good and bad.
They absolutely deserve every bit of it. I especially think so in the cases, as there are many here, where the parent has a spouse that is trying to get them to "see the light" so to speak, about where their type of "parenting" (and I use that word VERY loosely) will lead them, and they stubbornly ignore the advice.
I completely blame the parent and not the child. In my case, my exBF wanted me to correct his son, put him in time out, etc. I was like, no, YOU wanted this kid full time, now you got him ... you made your bed, now you lay in it.
He didn't want to see what I was telling him about his son. It's amazing how breaking up with him changed his point of view. Now he gets to deal with the mess he made all by himself.
The entire time we were together I had to listen to him whine "all I want is to spend time with my son". Then one day BM decides she can't handle SS anymore and he gets him. So then he got what he wanted, and now has to deal with a kid that just won't listen. He was the one that let him become that kind of child, so yes, he got what he deserved.
On a side note, a friend of mine always let her two sons walk all over her. I tried to tell her she needed to discipline them and not let her talk to her so disrespectfully. Years later she told me she says her sons are rude to her in the store and it's embarrassing. Well, guess what? You were the one that let them get away with it. Now they're big, both are taller than her and she's embarrassed by the way they talk to her in public. Sorry hon, tried to warn you.
I agree with you for the most part. I think my SD is going to wind up just like her mother (uneducated, unemployed, never married but has 3 kids by 3 different men) because she is not being taught any better. BM doesn't parent her. DH doesn't parent her. I tried parenting her but ended up disengaging because I was given more crap than appreciation and she isn't my problem to begin with. So in these types of cases, yes, absolutely!
However, I have to say that sometimes kids just make bad decisions regardless of what kind of parenting they had. My parents were together since high school and married, they were great parents, but somehow my brother ended up becoming a drug addict who is in and out of jail, while I became a successful, married woman with a career and a master's degree. So sometimes you just can't predict how things will turn out!
But as far as the typical skid situations, yup I am with you!!
I absolutely think that
I absolutely think that parents should reap what they sow with their children .. both good and bad.
It sucks sometimes in these stepparenting situations because the stepparent always gets stuck dealing with what the parent did or didn't do .. both good and bad.
They absolutely deserve every
They absolutely deserve every bit of it. I especially think so in the cases, as there are many here, where the parent has a spouse that is trying to get them to "see the light" so to speak, about where their type of "parenting" (and I use that word VERY loosely) will lead them, and they stubbornly ignore the advice.
I completely blame the parent
I completely blame the parent and not the child. In my case, my exBF wanted me to correct his son, put him in time out, etc. I was like, no, YOU wanted this kid full time, now you got him ... you made your bed, now you lay in it.
He didn't want to see what I was telling him about his son. It's amazing how breaking up with him changed his point of view. Now he gets to deal with the mess he made all by himself.
The entire time we were together I had to listen to him whine "all I want is to spend time with my son". Then one day BM decides she can't handle SS anymore and he gets him. So then he got what he wanted, and now has to deal with a kid that just won't listen. He was the one that let him become that kind of child, so yes, he got what he deserved.
On a side note, a friend of mine always let her two sons walk all over her. I tried to tell her she needed to discipline them and not let her talk to her so disrespectfully. Years later she told me she says her sons are rude to her in the store and it's embarrassing. Well, guess what? You were the one that let them get away with it. Now they're big, both are taller than her and she's embarrassed by the way they talk to her in public. Sorry hon, tried to warn you.
^^^^YUP^^^^ you are so right!
^^^^YUP^^^^ you are so right! People treat you how you allow them to treat you.
^^^^THIS TIMES ONE
^^^^THIS TIMES ONE HUNDRED!^^^^
Comments like Ana's make me wish we had a "like" button on this site! I couldn't have said it any better!
I agree with you for the most
I agree with you for the most part. I think my SD is going to wind up just like her mother (uneducated, unemployed, never married but has 3 kids by 3 different men) because she is not being taught any better. BM doesn't parent her. DH doesn't parent her. I tried parenting her but ended up disengaging because I was given more crap than appreciation and she isn't my problem to begin with. So in these types of cases, yes, absolutely!
However, I have to say that sometimes kids just make bad decisions regardless of what kind of parenting they had. My parents were together since high school and married, they were great parents, but somehow my brother ended up becoming a drug addict who is in and out of jail, while I became a successful, married woman with a career and a master's degree. So sometimes you just can't predict how things will turn out!
But as far as the typical skid situations, yup I am with you!!