New Here ... and so glad I found a place to vent!
So, where do I start? Have been married to my DH for four years. Have an SD Aged 11. SD= Devil Child. Bio-mom=psycho. Apparently I am the reason for their separation and every single bad thing that has happened to either on of them after that. For the past four years EVERYTHING has been centered around SD's feelings, how she's "adjusting", everything's she's "been through" ... I have an 8 year old BD myself. She has been just fine and loves my DH like her own dad. I have done everything for SD, have never yelled at her, have treated her well, and still am talked badly about to anyone who will listen ... I have a read a few posts here and can finally put a name to her MINI WIFE syndrome ... she is a spoiled little brat who pits her parents against each other and who's ultimate goal is to see me gone. It has gotten to the point where I cannot even stand to look at her. Now she has started therapy, which will be useless because brainwashing bio mom will just undo any good that would have done ... what has me the most frustrated is that when SD was born, DH's entire family acted as though it was the Messiah coming to earth and she has been nothing but coddled and spoiled by them all ever since. Needless to say, after four years these people act as though I do not exist, cards written out to DH only, talk behind my back, etc. But now, I am ten weeks pregnant with DH. And I expect no less fanfare from him as when his first little "angel" was born. But yet he wants to "wait" until he has SD for a long weekend so he can talk to her after she gets the news (otherwise she will just run home to mommy and never come back to visit him again) ... well she has refused to see him for a week now and it is not his weekend again for two more weeks! I am not putting my announcement plans on hold for that little brat!!! This is just the most recent tip of the iceberg issues I am having. I have had the time from HELL with bio mom, court, money, DH's complete lack of discipline, and everything in between. I just want to cry when I think my child will be treated as LESS by his family than that miserable little brat was when she was born. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?! I feel like AFTER his fam finds out I am pregnant, they may suddenly want to include me or reach out to me, but I am I wrong for thinking, too late?!?!
Why is it that a mother can
Why is it that a mother can disappear and be revered but a bio father can just be tossed aside and have everyone hate him no matter how involved he wants to be?
Over and over I hear - "It's his/her mother they looooove them no matter what they do." But let a dad look at the cross ways and they are ready to toss him aside forever.
I wouldn't get your hopes up
I wouldn't get your hopes up about his family being any better to you after they find out. And I wouldn't expect them to be terribly welcoming of the new baby either. What will likely happen is that you will be asked by his family over and over "How is SD taking the news? Is SD okay with the new baby? How does SD feel about this?" And honestly, there's not a damn thing you can do about it. They will behave how they chose to behave. All you can do is chose how You will behave and respond. But if dad's such a push over, I think you should seek advice on how to deal with explaining to your new child at various ages why they are treated differently. Several members here have children with their spouse and the in-laws are only concerned about the step kids. PeanutandSons is the first that comes to mind - you should check her blog.