Yes. I have.

Not so far as 'go away I want time with my kids.' But I have made plans with just my kids and have not allowed the skids to join in.

I have also very bluntly told the skids before that while there is a part of me that loves them... there have been many times that I do not LIKE them. Those times directly correspond to the skids acting like butt heads.

I have told Skid1 she has entitled princess syndrome- while in therapy in front of her therapist.

I have told skid2 that he needs to grow up and take responsibility for himself and his actions. His growing "upwards" but that does not count.

Skid3 has been told that she is a drama queen, examples provided. (By me, her father and every sibling)

Skid4 has to be reminded he is not 10. He is "the baby" so likes to play the baby and 'forgets' ALOT as well as a lot of other immature behaviors. He went through a three day period about a year ago that damn near drove me nuts... he was acting about 4. I brought him home a package of pull ups and tossed them to him telling him "at the rate your regressing your gonna need those." He got the point.

I have never told my skids what I really have thought about their BM and nor do I plan to.

We don't like it when our SKs say what they really think or feel, even if it may be hurtful to us. I don't know if they really felt what they said, but they said some evil things to me, that I could immediately tell were things that BM had said.

I have never told skid to his face how I feel about him. I am NEVER around at all when BF has skid...so I am fairly certain that my actions speak louder than any of my words ever could and skid gets the hint on some level.

In the beginning my BF, myself, skid, and my BS9 were always together. Then the brat pissed me right the fuck off with his attitude and ever since then he has been on my shit list. I told BF I want NOTHING to do with his kid, don't want to see him, be around him, etc. he accepts and respects that and I never see skid at all. If I ever do it will be my choice to do so.

Boy, I sure do wish I could tell them what I think! Here's what I fantasize I could say:

"SD, you have no clue as to what an incredibly entitled life you have led. You have no character traits worthy of mention because you haven't developed any while you sat upon your princess throne your whole life. You have literally been spoon fed with silver since the day you were born and have never wanted for anything. I think it would be immensely beneficial to strip you of all your wordly goods, then send you to live in a third world county and help those less fortunate than you for a few years. If you have any chance of redemption, this would be your best bet. Otherwise, you will continue on the selfish, self-absorbed path you currently follow, and will doubtless wind up alone in life - an empty, shallow shell of a human being."

"SS, your mother has f*cked you up royally. Her PAS against your father has stunted your emotional and psychological health. You never learned how to be a man because she never let you get close to your father. Your father never stood up to her because he didn't know how to be a man in that regard, either. His love for you yet his inability to straighten your mother out resulted in the two of you being estranged - probably for life. Someday, if you are able to crawl out of the bottomless sinkhole of despair you occupy, you may discover that you have been so very wrong about your father - and discover your very heart and soul were nothing more than cheap pawns in the games your mother chose to play."

I told my SS16 he was a "load that should have been swallowed" and a lot of people on here came unglued. LOL!

It felt good to say it. It shut his fat ass up too. }:)

As adults, I think we have an obligation to understand how our words can deeply wound others. Some of our personal thoughts and fantasies should be kept just that.

Oh yeah, I've been bluntly honest with both SS. Just last night I told one I'd be his biggest cheerleader, but to GROW UP, take responsibility and stop being a LOSER. That is what he is being and I'm not one to sugar coat words like DH is. He is not in college, not working full time, floating around where he sleeps. He is talking about moving in with his girlfriend. I asked him where, and he said her parents house. So I told him to grow up. That's not 'living with your girlfriend' if you are mature enough to live with your girlfriend, then be mature enough to get your own place!!! These teenagers are so lazy, self centered and entitled its pathetic. I do not hesitate to say something directly to them when they say outrageous things.

I haven't told either SD17 or SS15 what I really think of them at times, and SS15 is more of a problem than SD17 ever will be, but he at least is aware that he can't depend on me for much in this life. His mother knows that too. My favorite sentence in the article on disengaging has something to do with "I won't give him the opportunity to be disrespectful to me". And if that means leaving him out of the picture, then so be it.

sort of. i didn't tell sd20 exactly how i felt about what she has done to me, but when she expected me to be all "WOOHOO" about her being pregnant, i reminded her of what she'd done to me and told her that was exactly why i would not be involved. she still doesnt' get it. it has never and likely will never sink in that her behavior was unforgivable, and that SHE is in the wrong, not me. she has never so much as apologized for what she's done, and i told her that. her response was to tell me i should be "over it" by now. over her celebrating my miscarriage and never showing any remorse for it. the little bitch doesn't get that i AM over it. i don't talk about it, i don't hold it over her head. i just have nothing to do with her because she is toxic and evil. she says i'm holding a grudge for things that happened years ago. nope, i'm not. she doesn't understand that i can be over it and not be holding a grudge and still not have anything to do with her. she thinks for me to be over it, i have to let her in and adore her and open myself up to more of her abuse. she's dead wrong.

she has gone so far as to try to tell me i'm hurting her and her dad's health by shutting her out. apparently it doesn't occur to her that MY OWN health takes priority with me, and that she is bad for my health. every single word, justification, expectation, guilt trip, and everything else that comes out of her mouth just further proves that she only cares about herself and expects me to feel the same way. she does not give 2 shits about me and expects to place her and her wants above my own needs. i really don't care how she feels or what she thinks. she isn't allowed in my life and if that bothers her, it's her problem. it's not a problem for me at all!

I have. It was a fit of anger, but part of me still thinks it needed to be said. I told SD that the way her attitude was going that she had until her 18th birthday to grow up, because she'd have no choice on that fateful day. I don't regret it. She complains about having to bring her own clean clothes into her room. My wife got angry with me for saying it, but she owns that problem too...she coddled them for years. I think we make too much of feeling as though we must somehow love these little demons we come here to discuss. There is a breaking point, and a spade is a spade.

We kept it focused on the facts, we shared with him in an age appropriate manner and in ways that seasoned him to being able to identify manipulative bullshit and to protect himself in real time from that crap.

The three of us have remained very close.  He has little meaningful contact with the other half of his blended family life.  It is sad but he is kicking but in his adult live and his career.

I sure have, I am so over the little bitch that thinks she owns the house. Stomps around and thinks she has a right to a sense of entitlement.

she is a waste of my time and rounded my marriage