What is with the BM obsession??
I can't figure it out! DH's family is completely obsessed with BM! You would think they broke up last week the way they still talk about her but they have actually been broken up for more than 3 years (DH and I have been together 3 years and they were broken up for a short time before that) AND they weren't even married!
MIL and SIL used to call me by BM's name & that hasn't happened in a while, but they still talk about her non-stop! Granted, they are talking about how she's a horrible mother but still! I don't want to hear her name every freaking time I see them ESPECIALLY when they are in MY HOUSE!
Yesterday we had DH's family over for SD's birthday party. DH's nephew (who is only about 8 years old so I don't fully blame him but still) said something about last time he was in BM's car he heard some song. Like really?? You were like 5 years old.
Anyone else have this issue? I posted about it before but it is STILL going on & it infuriates me!
Did they stop mentioning her
Did they stop mentioning her after you asked them to? I have told both MIL and SIL that I don't want to talk about BM but they still bring her up every single time I see them! MIL is the worst. She says all negative things but it's just the point, I don't want BM's name being brough up all the time! It pisses me off!! I also recently found out SIL has still been talking to/hanging out with BM which I think is completely inappropriate!
Same with my SIL! MIL doesn't
Same with my SIL! MIL doesn't have a facebook but SIL does and is friends with BM. Even DH's 17 year old nephew is fb friends with BM. I think it's so inappropriate!
Yep - all of my DH's family
Yep - all of my DH's family is FB friends with BM and constantly fawning over each other. It really hurt me for a long time, but in the past 6 months, I've seen first hand what complete lunatics DH's mother, sister, and sister-in-law are. I am now in full agreement with him that we are MUCH better off spending time with supportive members of my family, SS13 and DD4.
I have told him though that they all (especially MIL) bet on the wrong horse. I am the first one to step and help out whenever there is an issue. I still totally look after my first husbands MIL (he passed away so no current wife issues there), took care of my first husband on hospice, and always help out younger or struggling family members. BM is the laziest, stingiest, nastiest piece of work ever. If MIL is on her death bed, BM wouldn't lift finger to help her out and now, luckily for me, since MIL has been such a psycho, I don't have to either:)
My MIL loves to talk about
My MIL loves to talk about BM. Its not good stuff either but they got divorced 13 years ago!!! Lets move on please!!
Every holiday her name comes up in conversation. I get up and walk away and DH now gets the hint and changes the subject, but he used to just go along with it. Last Easter I ate my Easter dinner while they talked over my head about BM the entire time. I flipped on him when we got home. How would he like it if at holiday dinner me and my mother talked over his head about my exh. That got the point across to him!! Geez!
nik7239-- that's exactly how
nik7239-- that's exactly how I would expect a family to act! My family would NEVER speak of my brother's ex in front of his new girlfriend & has never once mentioned my ex in front of DH! It's just common courtesy if you ask me! I wonder sometimes if it's just that they don't care! It's not like they want DH back with BM because what they are saying about her is all negative stuff but still, who wants to hear about their husband's ex all the time?
my fmil is like this too,
my fmil is like this too, every single time I see her the first thing she says is "How are things with fss mom?" it's so irritating. first off, it's none of her business if crazy is being... well crazy and 2nd.even if she is, why would I want to talk about it with her??
I can understand your
I can understand your frustration. I don't here my step-kids mom's name a lot. However, what both my husband and I have to LISTEN TO....AAAAAHHHHHH is everytime they have a social engagement. The reason the kids do this is becuz they know their mom lost a ton of friends when she broke up her marriage and cheated on their dad. But funny how things twist around as it is their mom - and extension of themselves - and they want to talk about HER so they make themselves feel better about HER. It is very annoying and I really don't want SHE and her new husband's social life dragged into our house in a way that is very offensive. Her new husband was also my husband's ex very good friend and the BM basically took her best friend's husband. Basically, I would just assume not hear about their life becuz I don't care to hear about their life. Unfortunately, the kids feel they need to advocate for their mom to clear her smeared image. Well - good luck kids!!!! We NEVER say anything negative about their mom & dont' talk about her. That is not done in the reverse. The one that cheated and left apparently that wasn't enough - and I didn't come into my husband's life until 3 years after their affair & relationship started but I still am a target. Pathetic people!!!!
My MIL talks to the BM on the
My MIL talks to the BM on the phone, sits and chit chats with her at SS baseball games and SD dance recitals. Invites BM and the children she had with the man she had an affair with while married to her son!!! YES!!! over to go swimming! All with the pretext of "she just wants to see her grandkids!!! What? The children she had with the guy she was screwing while being married to your son are NOT your grandkids!!! My SD and SS are and that's it! Unbelievable horrible excuse for a mother! How can she betray my husband, her son, like that? She says the ex "never did anything to her" and is "still the mother of her grandkids" To the former I would say "if you do something to hurt my child you have done something to me" and to the second I would say "yes, she is their mother but that means you are civil not friends with the bitch! I'm sorry to explode. I'm sorry you have a similar problem too. The family mentioning her in a good or bad way would make me feel jealous and sad.
Exactly! I understand they
Exactly! I understand they have to be civil towards each other (MIL and BM still see each other pretty much every week because MIL facilitates the pick ups/drop offs of SD so DH doesn’t have to deal with BM’s crap) but I see no need for them to be friends outside of that. It just irks me. I have talked to SIL about it and let her know I think its disrespectful and she acted like she understood but then I have since found out that she has still been talking to BM (not that I’m surprised) so it’s like she doesn’t even care.
MIL and SIL even went to visit BM in the hospital over the summer after she had a baby (not with DH). Some people just have no sense.
Hi, I know this situation.
Hi,
I know this situation. Last June we were having lunch and after dessert my SIL brought some old pictures from my husband´s wedding. And began to talk about the party. We inmediately left the place.
I do not have a close relationship with them and I won´t, but I guess SIL is a bit envious because she is still single after 40 and never had a serious relationship.
Some MIL are also jealous and cannot accept her son is happily married. They seem to miss old times.
Focus on your marriage, and ignore them. They are not worth.
Sorry I have forgotten, my
Sorry I have forgotten, my SIL and BM are friends in FAcebook! But they have not seen each other for the last 5 years. I just laugh
Maybe if BM didn't do
Maybe if BM didn't do everything in her power to try to break up DH and I.. Maybe if, 3 years later, she wasn't still giving us problems and drama and bs on a DAILY BASIS.. Maybe if she hasn't threatened to beat me so bad my DH wouldn't recognize me.. Maybe if she didn't tell SD bad things about me and DH.. Maybe then it wouldn't be such an issue. But I can't imagine why SIL would want to be friends with someone who has done these things to her brother and his wife. It really boggles my mind!
I will do you one better. My
I will do you one better. My FIL and MIL (when she was living) would have the BM over to their house and go to hers. Get this, my FIL was the first one to catch the BM cheating on my DH and hated her for it! They didn't start hanging with the BM until after I came into the picture (6 years after the divorce) and we had full custody of my SD's! My DH has told his dad how it angers him and hurts him that his own father would hang around and help out the woman who did so many horrible things to him and his kids but it is like my FIL doesn't get it. My FIL fixes the BM's car, loans her money, brings her Christams and bday gifts. I wouldn't doubt if he has put her back in his will. He thinks its normal now! He even talks about their visits together with me! And it drives my SD's nuts, they wish their Pop would stay away from their BM because it causes them issues. It has put such a strain on my DH's relationship with FIL that they don't talk but once a month now and we only see him on holidays. Oh, and my relationship with my FIL is good. He sees I make his son happy and I am good to my SD's. I almost wonder if he isn't trying to sleep with the BM?! Yuck!
Yeah during WWIII i had the
Yeah during WWIII i had the pleasure of hearing MIL screaming at the top of her lungs at DH (regarding BM and BM's parents) "they are Family and they will ALWAYS BE FAMILY". and i get treated as just her son's wife, no relation, almost like a roommate or coworker.... nice. and we've been together almost 5 years.
Wow! That is so messed up!
:jawdrop: Wow! That is so messed up!
no skin off my back- i've cut
she can keep her "family". but since the truth about certain issues has come out, proving that most of the shit stirring was coming from her, not even BM wants anything to do with her!!! lmao
SMH! DH has 2 sisters and
SMH! DH has 2 sisters and they both are friends with BM on fb, the younger one sees her in person but they are both bad. The older one even has BM listed as her sister on fb lol it's stupid but it gets to me bad. Especially because her fb was made after DH and I were together (it's not like she just left it that way from when DH and BM were together). I know I shouldn't let stuff like that bother me but I can't help it. I think it's so rude! I can't imagine treating my brother's gf/wife that way!!
DH's sisters say BM will
DH's sisters say BM will always be family too. Bunch of crap. They weren't even married and SD was an accident smh. Yeah, "family", okay..
I think on some level I'm
I think on some level I'm content with my in-laws being gone long before I arrived on the scene.
I've met DH's brother and wife who love me to death. The wife and I have had some private chats where BM came up but it was okay. Probably with respect to how broken SS is.
SS will mention his previous SM on occasion to say how horrible she was to him and how much he hates her. But from what I've heard she is a pretty vile person in general. 2nd wife and DH had no kids together. Thank god he was snipped before he met her. She pressured him for years to get it reversed. I would not be with him if that woman was in my life.