Thank you for posting the link to the court case. I started reading it, and found a lot of common threads with my DH's fist family:

.... K. D. ( the BM) seems unable to differentiate herself from her children. On all of the evidence I have heard in this case, it is clear that K. D. has no concept about how a two year old D., felt and thought or how to change certain behaviours in children. Instead of encouraging a relationship between D. and her father, she purposely kept the child and the Applicant apart and seemed to encourage any difficulties the child had in bonding with her father because the Respondent allowed them no time together."

Later the court docs say, K. D’s level of vigilance and monitoring was unusual. No kidding!

My skids' BM did the same thing! She would tell her kids, "if daddy hurts you, come running to me and tell me immediately". Huh? Hurt them? He would not hurt a fly!

This K.D. had an unhealthy, very close relationship with her mother, another master-manipulator. They spoke Polish to each other, so that the kids' dad could not understand. Guess what? In my DH's first family it was Sicilian - everyone was a member of that clan, la familia, he was not. The signs were all there..