I REFUSE to go any where with my sshits! I am embarrassed to even be seen at church around them! I would deal better if they had a discernable disability! They pace, moan, groan, run away, smell, yell, climb all over shit, have temper tantrums and clinically are "normal" kids (not in my freakin book!)..I will sit in the car to drive them home, that is it!

How do you get over it? Maybe the next time you are all out, just kinda hang a little bit closer to him and try to see what/how things look to him. If someone outside of your family says something then just smile and dont acknowledge them. Maybe volunteer at a school/hospital where they specialize in autism so you can get some direction from some professionals. And if your kids are embarrassed ask if there is a special needs class at their school that they could 'help' in. Maybe in the other kids learning to be tolerant of ss's autism you will be able to see it all in another light and not be so embarrased by it. Best of luck to you though!

I have a SS that I'm pretty sure has a learning disability. It's really hard at times. I hate asking all the kids (3 total) to settle down and please be quite and have SS still yelling. I know I'm not nearly educated enough to know what to do to help him understand. I think that's the first thing to do though. Educate yourself until you think you know everything about Autism. Then find another source and learn even MORE. There are constantly new ideas, resources, medications, technologies etc coming out to help people. Support. That is the main thing i can suggest. You come here for support in being a step, why not find a more tolerant/understanding place to get support for living and dealing with an autistic child. I'm sure there is a forum out there for parents of autistic children. I know with out all the various supports in my life i would crumble.

You probably need to ask yourself if you really WANT to cope with an autistic skid. I have 2 autistic cousins and their mother had a tough time, but they are incredibly easy to love. If you WANT to cope with an autistic skid and try to help them (and yourself) then by all means, I'm sure any BM would be glad to help you.

I am baffled as to why you are with this man and his son. Mind boggling.

Wow...

That mom on Dr Phil... should be ashamed of herself. And I hope she is. I have a special needs nephew. He is not autistic, and he is highly functional, so... we get strange looks in public. He is 2 1/2 years old and weighs only 18 pounds. He is the sweetest most lving little guy you will ever meet. Does he look different? YEP, and I love every square inch of him.

I think it may be time to rethink your relatioship with this boys father. If even a special needs kid can't create an ounce of compassion within you, I am thinking you may not have what it takes to be in a blended family

okay........

my bd6 has disabilities. she looks 'normal' on the outside, but doesnt act textbook-six years old alot of times. depends on situation, how over stimulated she gets, ect. do i keep her shut in? do i refuse to be seen with her in public?

NO and NO.

infact, i take bd6 everywhere with me, always have. and many outings have been a learning experience for both her and i. for example, when she was 3, grocery shopping was hard. she wanted out of the cart but could not contain her excitement enough to behave. so, instead of forcing her in the cart and having her scream like a banchee, i told her that if she acted up, we would leave. took like 6 times of leaving and sitting in the car the second she acted up before---ta da!---she started acting right. from time to time she needs a reminder, but i expect that from ANY type of child. and if she does/says anything 'weird'...i simply briefly explain my child is special needs. and i leave it at that. u would be amazed at how many people have said to me, "its ok i understand. u have alot of patience".

if bios wont do anything for this kid, u either need to do it or step down as well.....BUT, this child NEEDS someone to help him.

I completely understand why you are frustrated and resentful of skid. I would be too if I was essentially being a/the parent to a kid that I didn't even give birth to and didn't want to have any part in raising etc. when the kids own bio parents and blood relatives didn't and don't even give a fuck about him and getting him help for his autism. That alone is enough to make ANYBODY feel resentful and not like someone. I wouldn't want to be saddled with such a huge responsibility that I never asked for or wanted simply because if I didn't do it then who else would???

I can totally see this from both sides...a person in your shoes could easily say "fuck it" if his own parents & family don't give a shit about him and getting him help then why the heck should I? I'm not even his mother etc.!!! Or you could do what you do and help the kid out unlike his parents and family. But everybody has their breaking point! Even the June Cleaver's of us SM have their breaking point with their skids! No one is perfect! Nor should anyone on this site where SM's come to VENT be judging anyone else unless they have been in their shoes! It is sooo easy to judge and look down on another SM for spouting what you might think is vile and deplorable behavior and feelings about/towards a skid but until and unless you have dealt with what they are dealing with every day we know NOTHING of them and the life they live.

I am sure we can all agree that being a BM is not easy but multiply that by 1000 when you are a SM, with a man with kids and how they act and what they say and do is completely out of your control and their bm/dh doesn't help or back you up and skids just run amuck and/or cause strife in your life and your relationship, sometimes just because they feel like it! Not even for a legit reason! Being a SP is nothing short of hard work and I give her kudos for what she has done for this kid. You can knock her all you want for hating skid but at least she is doing things for that kid that NO ONE that is related to him EVER did or has done! If her doing what she does/did for a kid that she clearly HATES is not compassion then I don't know what the fuck is!!! Because I for one don't know too many people in this world that would piss on someone who was on fire if they hated them...do you?

Just saying....

The great thing about being a SM is the fact that we are free to just walk away.

No one can force us to parent their kid. No one can force us to spend our life dealing with or living with a kid we hate.

I despise going out in public with my SD9. And, unfortunately, since she lives here, I am always with her. She is RUDE!!! She will say, "Why is that guy so fat?", "Why is that girl in a wheelchair?", etc, etc, etc. She stares at people. She will start running around the store like a 2 year old. BM thinks this behavior is cute and funny so SD thinks it is okay to behave this way.

Don't feel bad Dledden. I was embarrassed by CTBB out in public when he was little- he behaved like a little angel,and I loved him to death, but he was obese. I would never, NEVER have a fat child because, duh, we can control every single thing that goes in thier mouths. But he wasn't with US enough for me to make a difference. Then I would feel incredibly guilty for feeling that way about him, and about feeling ashamed of something so superficial. But childhood obesity has always been my iggie. :O

I'm late, but am writing in here not just as a SM, but a person with Asperger's Syndrome.

I honestly felt and feel for that mom-I saw that episode too. The mom seems burned out and is screaming for help. I hope she has been able to get some for her and her daughter.

I will also say that being the person who "looks normal outside but is very different inside" is a huge challenge. It can lead others to bully us. We do not communicate like "normal" people do. We certainly act differently than most "normal" people, and it is not even our fault.

Many people with autism are also geniuses. One such example is Albert Einstein. Many celebrities have autism: http://www.parentdish.com/2010/04/23/celebrities-and-other-famous-folks-...

Autism can be helped with the proper therapy, medication, and assistance in school. Is your SS receiving all of these things? If he is, maybe something needs to be changed. If he's not receiving all of these things, your DH should work to make that happen.

Please be kind to this boy. Even though we have trouble communicating, people on the autistic spectrum can sense how others feel about them and often internalize it. Consider reading about it and volunteering with people who have autism. If you feel you have reached the point that the mom on Dr. Phil did, please consider getting counseling for yourself.

I have the same with my youngest Skid who has always shown signs of Autism (or Aspergers which I believe is the minor form of autism. Correct me if I'm wrong ). Parents have picked up on this but still haven't taken him to get checked out (surprisingly ,as I'm sure BM would love to claim MORE money from the government ) . So ,because he hasn't been diagnosed with anything some people will probably think he's just rude and ignorant. I know he'd get the help he needs if he sees someone but isn't my place to say.