You are receiving no respect from your husband why stay?

If you are not working it is the norm that you will do the washing and cleaning which I do not find a fault with, if you are working however its should be 50/50 that being said it is not your responsibility to clean after his child it is his. EDIT just realized you have a baby that in itself is a job, so tell him the house work is 50/50 or nothing! If he is incapable that is not your problem its his and with the anger and disrespect he is showing you ask yourself are you willing to be the piggy in the middle all your life. He should not be chatting about your personal life with his ex PERIOD and if he does that's a MASSIVE warning sign and I would be weary.

If you decide to stay you must lay down ground rules, you will not clean after his child. Its his responsibility and visitation should be at times he is awake and ready to look after him, if its not you make sure to be out of the house 20/30 minutes before his child comes and make sure not to be back before he leaves. What a lot of bio parents think is that its our responsibility as a step parent to give 50% to their child when in reality they should thank us for giving 10%.

If you stay get some rules in place and tell him, if they are enforced it will be you who is leaving and that its not an idle threat it's a promise and actually follow it through.

Next time Dh takes a nap when he's supposed to be watching his kid, pack up BS and leave.

My Dh used to do this all the time. He'd be passed out napping for hours while I was left struggling to control his kids. A few weeks ago, I just left. I packed up my two boys and left. He woke up to a house in pure chaos as how kids were unsupervised, and behave like rabid animals. He hasn't napper with the kids in the house since.

I didnt realize it until that day, but I was enabling him. He was able to freely nap the day away because he knew I was there tending his kids. As soon as I removed the illusion of responsibilty, he had to step up. The absense of my presence in the home let him see his responsibility to supervise his own kids.

If ever he does it again, I shall do the same. Every single time. I don't get to nap because I have two small children who need to be supervised, he doesn't get to nap because he has two undiciplined children that dang he trusted. I am done talk.g on more work myself so that he can shirk his responsibilities.

The higher ground is where you see all the errors from, too damned clearly! I told DH one time that I am not responsible for how they both Fu@#ed up those kids and I am not carrying the can for it. As time went on, a couple or three years, I saw how nothing would alter the kids' basic personalities, or ours! DH and I love each other very much and want to stay married. I disengaged from SKids and he pretty soon saw what was going on, they could no longer blame me for everything, and he took a firmer line with them.
That the kid was roaming the streets is alarming, at 8 years of age? Wake the hell up DAD!
What I found was the worst thing I could do is to actually let them know how annoyed I was about the situations. Vent on here but stay CALM with them. It's almost impossible but there's damn all you can do in reality so, please, accept that and reconcile your own self to what you will do next. I do not know you personally but I believe you can handle this though.

It sounds like it should be over unfortunately. I have had some issues with DH cowering to BM. Anytime I'd point out how BM was taking advantage of him, he'd say I was just trying to drive a wedge between them so that she'd take SS out of his life. He always put off anything I said about her as "you just don't like SS". It took a serious blow up for him to see that it was never about the skid but about him and his relationship with the controlling, unappreciative wildebeest. I was losing all respect for him for letting her run him over and hold him by the balls for this kid that wasn't even his. It impacted every area of our lives and while he thought it was all okay (just like your DH) when nothing was happening 'at the moment', I was seething inside. It was not per incident--it was our whole lives.

But once I let go of the reasonable, logical calm self I try to be and went apesh*t on him, it was kind of a wake up call to him as to just how bad this was. Surely he knew I wasn't flipping out for no reason as he knows that's not me. Something in his brain clicked I think when I added up the amount of money she'd asked for & received over the previous 2 months (nearly $2K). When I tallied up how often we had SS8 this Summer (little over half the summer) at HER request so she could go out of town or just be free, he kind of quieted down because emotion aside, he couldn't deny the facts. I described it to him as an Outsider and as if HE were someone else that I was telling him about. "Imagine if this was happening to Brian (his best friend). What would you tell him?" I made him step outside and look at it from an objective perspective as to if this was happening to someone he loved, what advice would he give them.

After that confrontation and my disengagement, something changed and slowly but surely we're getting on track. If you stay, disengage. Don't do any laundry for DH (I don't do SS8 laundry anymore) and then you can't be responsible for knowing if he has anything there or not. "I don't know; you'll have to check" is the only answer you could give and it'd be honest answer. Let go of all responsibility related to him and you can't be blamed for anything.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. DH has obviously chosen his priorities and unfortunately, from the sounds of it, it's not you and your son.

I'd be planning my eventual departure at this point. Then again, I've lived my life for others long enough and I can definitely say I'm bitter and jaded. If my DH didn't put me and our relationship first, I'd have been gone a long time ago.

Good luck with whatever choice you make. I'm right here if you need me!

If it was me, I'd give him an ultimatum. Ether we go to counseling and he resolves his anger problems, or I leave.

I don't think I have ever advised anyone on this site to leave their marraige before..... But I really think that you need to leave this man. I know people say that on this site a lot...oh you need to leave him.... But I really think you need to be working on an exit strategy.

Think about what your baby is learning, as he witnesses these exchanges. How is he going to treat women when he is older if he grows up watching daddy scream at mommy like that, and mommy sits there and takes it.

My Dh may be an ass a lot of the time, but he knows that if he ever acts like that towards me, then I am gone. He family hs even recently asked me if he dvr flips out and yells at me (he has a temper) and I can honeslty say no, that he has never directed that anger at me. He knows that the first time he directs his anger at me or one of my kids, the next time he sees me again will be in court. I will not have him teaching my boys to hate women.

So one day while he is at work and conveniently blocked you, could you not pack up some of his clothes and leave out the front and then have the locks changed before he gets home? Leave a letter explaining your actions taped to whatever door it is that he comes through explaining that his clothes are out front and you will arrange for him to come get the rest in the presence of a police office. You tried to tell him you were doing that today but since he has you blocked, meh, no such luck. And if he refuses to leave, call the cops? Or better yet, arrange to have one there that day at around the time he gets home?