RESTRAINING ORDER FOR BM EMAILS??????
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DH stopped all telephone conversation with BM because she just screams, lies and calls him despicable names etc in front of ss6. Now the emails are coming one after another after another. Can we get a restraining order related to the emails? How can we minimize her contact with us???? PLEASE HELP!!!!
DH has to read them because if there is anything important BM has to say (almost never) it would be in there. The issue is that he constantly has to read her emails to be sure there is nothing that needs his attention.
Thanks! We can't get rid of
Thanks! We can't get rid of the email account because that's her only access. She still has his telephone number for emergencies but if she tries to discuss things that are not an emergency, DH tells her she needs to put it in an email then he asks to speak with his son, if she still continues he hangs up on her.
We do not have the money for a lawyer so we have to do it all ourselves. We NEVER and I mean NEVER say anything in emails (or ever!!) to her that is not necessary or dealing directly with the kids. No matter how awful her emails are we either ignore them or if we must answer a question, we answer the question without saying anything more. We have nothing to worry about in that department. Her last email's subject: "MY ASSHOLE EX" in all caps. DH never writes anything even remotely like that. He doesn't even make parenting suggestions, just pick up and drop off stuff, school stuff etc. and we are working towards not even doing that by having set visitation days, pushing the school to send all notices to both parents as she never shares information from school. We have sent at least 20 notices to the school to tell them to keep DH in the loop and copy him on all notices, but they still don't get it. He shares joint legal custody so it is their obligation. We just found out last week that SS6 failed his eye exam LAST APRIL and BM still did not get him to an optometrist. We are taking him next week. But, considering all our notices to the school, why weren't we notified? And BM keeps saying that ss6 behavioral issues are because we are feeding his mind lies, which we NEVER EVER do... we do not talk at all about BM in front of him EVER. His behavioral issues are because he can't see the pages and is getting frustrated! His behavioral issues are because you scream your fool head off and stick the kid in front of the TV and computer game all evening and all weekend when you have him..... but... Noooo, it wouldn't be YOU BM, NOOOOOO!!! You choking him would not have anything to do with it, you punching him would not... it is us and our lies, lies lies... or could it be that he is seeing another way of living and your way isn't so appetizing any more??? He knows the truth, we don't have to tell him anything. He spends time in both homes. She keeps moving from one place to the next. No stability. I have to stop... I am getting really angry.
Does anyone have a cease and desist letter regarding harassment they can share? I am in NJ, but any will do so I can get the gist.
THANK YOU ALL!!!!!
I would print off the emails
I would print off the emails and take them to the police dept and ask for a No Contact Order.
Thank you!!! This was
Thank you!!! This was exactly what we needed!! DH just sent it!! First via email, then when the BEAST ignores it, we will send one via postal mail w/ return receipt in a week or two. So excited!! Thank you!!
That's awesome!!!! Congrats
That's awesome!!!! Congrats and wishes that it works!!
Just make sure that your husband enforces it if need be...he doesn't want her to think that he's just playing games. She may try to test the waters considering she has gotten away with the behaviors so many times over. She might just think she has gotten to him a little and he's finally responding to it. If he gets it, he HAS to be willing to use it! My husband's ex talked shit to him all the way out of the court house after he got it, but once he had it served by the police is when, and ONLY when she realized it wasn't revenge or a joke.
I'm happy you were able to figure this out and I truly hope it brings your family some peace.
Try to have the court order
Try to have the court order all communication to go through a supervised communication site like Family Wizard. Often just knowing hat the court can see everything you wrote will tame a crazy parent.
OOOh, I like that. Is it
OOOh, I like that. Is it expensive?
I went to the site but would
I went to the site but would like a personal account of why it is amazing. I am afraid to do it if it will just add another way for her to contact us. Please tell me why you like it. I would appreciate that.
THANK YOU!!!
Why don't you just not open
Why don't you just not open them and archive them for court purposes?
SanAntonio - Do you mean
SanAntonio - Do you mean emails? Emails don't have any more power if they are unopened.
Yes the emails. Put them in a
Yes the emails. Put them in a "folder" and then open them and print them if you need to. No need to read her nonsense all day every day.
Or you can read them once a
Or you can read them once a week over wine and have a good laugh.
Thanks! I read up on NJ
Thanks! I read up on NJ harassment laws and unfortunately my state is WEAK. It does not specify what is harassment, so first you have to send a letter stating exactly you find harassing. (quoting the words, naming the date of the email etc) Once you have put the other party on notice as to what you personally feel is harassing, then, if they continue, you can send a formal letter in the mail, return receipt notifying again to cease and desist. Then if they don't stop, you file a police report.
DH never answers her emails except when necessary for the care of the child. When DH does, it is always short, sweet and to the point.