I think the path forward should be that you sit her down and ask how the two of you can work together to restore her trust in you, in your marriage to her dad and in her family (the three of you together).

A key part of that discussion has to be that trust is a two way street and though you understand that you have work to do she also has work to do as far as her avoidance of the truth (failing out of school, not paying her rent, etc....).

For this relationship to recover it will take both of you workign on it and communicating openly and without tension (as much as possible anyway).

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

stop telling her you love her with the expectation that you'll hear it back and that she can love you. she can't. even if she says it, you already know she's a "complusive liar". she'll let you give her money and keep you hoping for love from her ("hope you have a good week") but it's m-a-n-i-p-u-l-a-t-i-o-n.

work on your marriage. let her go. you're making a fool of yourself. sorry, don't mean to be mean...

it is normal. she's playing the role of the SD. this is how it is. great relationships between skids and their SM is not normal, unfortunately.

you're not an idiot. you just hoped for a different normal.

I think what you are feeling is normal however look at it, step back and look......so you and your husband made a mistake, you get back together, you feel like you confided in her maybe things you now regret, it hapens, move on. She makes the choice whether to accept and move on too, and if you do not move fwd together it does nt mean that you have to beat yourself up over it. I can understand that you want a close relationship with your SD but again, look at what is happening here.....she is lying- how can any relationship be built on distrust? It cannot! She is using you for money and capitalizing on your guilt. I would not give her a penny. She has never come clean on what she did with the rent money your husband gave her, do you think she feels any guilt for what she has done. You are looking at you and trying to do your best but your SD is a user and you are playing her game.

I personally think you and your husband need to sit first before she comes over for the weekend. The two of you need to agree on what is going to be said and what you will allow and then your husband needs to handle it. You need to go shopping, spend the day with a friend, whatever. I would not go on and on, continuing to tel SD you love her. She heard it and she is obviously not receptive. You cannot make anyone love you but that does not mean you are unworthy. Give her her space, do not cave to guilt, forgive yourself and do not feel you have to justify anything to her or anyone else....when you feel the need to justfy or make people understand you it many times backfires on you.

When children are small, whether steps or bios, we overlook their hurtful statements, we forgive knowing they are hurt....we, as parents, bend over backwards to please and comfort our children. However, if we continue to comfort bad behavior we can expect more bad behavior. Your husband needs to set some firm guidelines with his daughter and you both need to stick to what is set.

Would you continue to be friends with someone who treated you the way your SD is treating you?

I have a bio and step that are just full of lies. Every time I turn around there is another lie about something I did or something I said, things being told to family as if they were true. I so wanted to love unconditionally and the relationship I had with my children was very important. My mom and I had not been close growing up and I was going to do everything in my might to not repeat this with my own kids. But never had I expected to go thru a divorce where ex would alienate me from my children with lies about our past. Just hius leaving made my oldest feel bad about herself and then when she realized he was not coming back and stayed gone for 2 years, she sucked up everything he said once he returned to bea part of her life, it totally messed her head up and she has been in and out of counseling since she was about 7, 24 years.....and I am to blame. She has made a choice to view life the way she wants to see it and what she sees is what her father feeds her, she wants his love and acceptance now like she did when she was a small child. I had to learn that my relationship is not like the relationship I had with my mom and I did everything I possibly coudl for my child but it is not good for me to let myself be a door mat for her to wipe her feet so I had to place boundaries. Does that mean I love her less? No, I will always love my daughter but I don't see us ever being close mostly because of the animosity she carries for me and the lies she continues to tell about me and what I have done to her.

Be strong, don't let anyone take advantage of you or make you feel guilty!