SD is a Picky Eater
So my SD6 is the pickiest eater ever. Whenever she is with us, we work to get her to at least try things and to NOT complain about everything on her plate. If it isn't cheese, grapes, or chicken nuggets, it's like pulling teeth to get her to eat. Of course, she loves any kind of sweet too. At our house, she is served meals and if she doesn't eat, then she doesn't get another choice - we're not running a restaurant. We have 6 mouths to feed including hers.
Well, at BM's house, there's just the 3 of them so BM feeds her whatever she wants or just gives her one of those "nutrition shakes" like Ensure. She is very overweight too. Her BM sends those frigging shakes to us in her backpack but we always send them back.
Last night I made spaghetti because usually she will eat some of that but she turned her nose up and didn't eat any of it. Later in her bedroom I checked on her at bedtime and she was opening a package of cheese crackers that were apparently in her backpack sent from BM. When I told her that she didn't eat her dinner, she said, "What? I'm just having a little snack" in a sassy voice. Ugh! It drives me crazy! We took them away from her and she acted like we were killing her. She had a total meltdown. Obviously she does this at her BM's without any issues.
Disengage from her and save
Disengage from her and save your sanity. Let her DAD parent her and you sit back and read a book or do something that you like to do. It drove me nutso with my SD14 eating us out of house and home and turning up her nose at my cooking too. Then I decided I'd make dinner and if she didn't like it, it was up to her father to figure it out. He gave her the choice of a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk or whatever I made for dinner and she quit being so damn choosy.
Good luck, but I had to totally remove myself from that situation and put her father in control or I'd have gone bonkers!
~Mel
I also say disengage, but I
I also say disengage, but I know that gets tricky if you have other kids in the house.
Here is a copy and paste of my reply in a similar thread someone recently posted:
My SO sucks at enforcing good eating habits. Consequently, I don't bother working on SD's terrible eating habits. Literally, the only thing she'll eat is white bread, ketchup, peanut butter, potato chips, funyuns, french fries, spaghettios, chicken nuggets, pizza, ice cream, cereal, tortilla chip lunchables, cookies, and candy. I listed them all just to point out that you can actually list out the foods she will eat. It used to drive me crazy. I had to let it go.
The only problem is that I have different standards for my own kids. So they have to eat whatever I make for dinner while SD gets to have...whatever. Fortunately mine are now old enough to understand why they should eat better stuff, so they don't complain about it being unfair. But the disparity between what my kids are accountable for and what SD is accountable for has been a real sore spot in my family, so that would probably be the only reason I would get involved in what a skid did or didn't eat. For a couple years I had a hard time explaining to my kids why they couldn't get away with what SD does...now that they're older, they can see her for what she is. If they were still little, that would be a problem and there would have to be consistent house rules.
^^^^^Exactly what my parents
^^^^^Exactly what my parents did to me and my brother. You don't like what is served? The kitchen is that way and you can have a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk. We learned awful quickly that PB&J usually didn't top what mom or dad made
~Mel
I LOVE this idea! I'm going
I LOVE this idea! I'm going to mention it to my DH. I know it's a control thing and I think we've been too inconsistent about how to handle it.
This is a simple solution that just may work! Thanks!!!!!!!!!
Certainly try the PBJ idea
Certainly try the PBJ idea and if it works go with it. DADDY should inspect the back-pack for junk food and tell her why pulling no punches. In age appropriate words explain how obesity results in sick adults (diabetes) and early death. Again in age appropriate terms.
I'm not enamored with the PBJ trick as its only for a couple of nights so it doesn't get old like the situations described above. If it doesn't work then when everyone is at the table and she's balking its time for a general family discussion about neutrition and again the diseased and dying adults. All of the children are addressed equally so no one is pointed out as the fat one. That will be apparent all by itself.
But don't expect to see any improvement in her size as when she goes back to Mom's it'll be right back to the old diet. Dad however if he's concerned enough might want to discuss the kids diet with Mom but its certainly his problem not yours. While she is at your table she either eats what's there or goes hungry just like everybody else.
OK, I replied to the peanut
OK, I replied to the peanut butter idea before reading yours and I see your point too. She is currently quite concerned about mortality. I know kids go through that realization normally so this may be a good opportunity to use it.
Perhaps we'll try that approach and if that doesn't help, send her to the kitchen to make her own. I honestly don't think she could anyway because her and her brother are so far from being self-sufficient it isn't even funny. I think it would be funny though to tell her to go make her own if she doesn't like what we made.
We do normally let her go hungry and sometimes have a special dessert without her but she is so picky she even announces that she doesn't want a dessert either.