Anyone else have an issue with wheedling, smarmy, prissy, false voice tone in SDs?
Had an interesting experience yesterday. We went to a birthday gathering for FIL where I had feared OSD would come. Shouldn't have worried, none of the skids bothered to show. But during the meal, OSD24 called her grandfather to speak to him and unbeknownst to her he put her on the speakerphone. So, I had the odd experience of overhearing her thinking she was talking to him confidentially rather than putting on a show for a group. During this conversation, she spoke in exactly the same tone that annoys me and which I had thought was put on for me. In this tone, which has grown on her from teen years on, there is a mincing prissy "little meishness" which I experience as dishonest, false, and connected to some sort of self-esteem issue, whether over high or over low I don't know, but I would feel if I heard it in a stranger that it was a token of a problematic personality. Very fake and high, mincing.
Having heard it now directed at someone else, I no longer feel personally attacked by it (unless she was phoning specifically to be the phantom at the feast, which is unlikely) and realise that it is just her tone of voice, and natural to her. But, if she ever comes into my orbit again (which I sincerely hope she doesn't except on very rare family occasions where I've had to show because of DSs), how do I stop it grating on me? It really sets my teeth on edge and makes me feel unnecessarily irritated and hostile. Anyone have any tips?
Yes my SD16 does a sort of
Yes my SD16 does a sort of "Marilyn Munroe" Happy Birthday Mr President voice crossed with Shirley Temple.
i thought i was the only one
i thought i was the only one with voice issues until i found this site. i can't sd19's fake, loud laugh. if you have to force a laugh, then it wasn't funny. so why laugh? she just has to be constantly making noise so she knows people know she's there. she can't stand not being the center of attention.
i've learned to just ignore her completely. her voice makes me cringe inside, but on the outside i show nothing.
Why is it when I come to this
Why is it when I come to this site. There are so many similarities with these SDs? I have a 16 year old niece and I promise you she and her friends are nothing like these SDs.
What is going on?
i wonder the same thing. i
i wonder the same thing. i was a sd to a horrendous sf and i never acted like that. my daughter isn't like that, and she's a sd, too. i thinks it's some sort of sick need out of extremely insecure little girls (even if they are adults, they act like children) to mark their territory. somehow they are missing the fact that they are embarrassing themselves and aren't in a position of power just because they do annoying and infuriating things.
My SD has this very loud and
My SD has this very loud and abnoxious voice.Her father says it's because he's hard of hearing..NOT..she's like that with everyone..her daughter was talking to her dad and he called her his wife's name because she was doing the same thing as her mother..not listening to anything except her own voice.butting into conversations, changin the subject and goes on and on gossiping about everyone..the kind of person who reports her neighbours to the aurtorities if she see's something she doesn't like( the grass is too long or a truck in the driveway with rust on it) So thanks for bringing this to my attention..this woman( 48 yrs old) obviously has a real problem with control !
Poodle, just listening to the
Poodle, just listening to the loud intensity of YSD's voice, even when explaining something positive or at least neutral almost gives me an anxiety attack. You are unfortunately not alone.
I kind of faked a falsetto
I kind of faked a falsetto voice that was always cherry in my late teens, early 20's. It was because I was dreadfully uncomfortable with who I was. People may have seen me as fake but I was actually very insecure and felt my real self was unacceptable. Don't rule out this possibility, confident people generally don't do this.
Hmmm. My SD, if I answer the
Hmmm. My SD, if I answer the phone, says "Hi" in a high-pitched weird voice that I can't stand. She's a little controller though and bi-polar time bomb so not sure about if she's insecure.
MY SD speaks in fast,
MY SD speaks in fast, snapping spurts. It's almost like she is devouring the air around her. I can live with that - what I had a problem with was the way she constantly 'talked down' to everyone except those she looked upon as intelligent. I was not chosen to be in this category so she constantly made demeaning comments which she THOUGHT went over my head. If I knew something she didn't, or if I was better than her in something it was more than apparent she was displeased.
I know exactly what all of
I know exactly what all of you mean!!!! My YSD14 is into sports (mostly soccer) and tends to be a bit locker-room in her demeanor. (Doesn't help that BM is a lesbian, involved in a live-in relationship with the most dyke lesbian I have ever seen....so the role models at home are definitely not very feminine.) So YSD will come into a room where DH & I both are, and she'll walk up to him and want to chest-bump him, as if they are both pro-football players celebrating a touchdown.
WTF?
My sd (nearly 20) has a
My sd (nearly 20) has a breathless type of Marilyn monroe voice she keeps especially when engaging with her father. She has had this voice since she was 11 (her mother died at this period of her life). It is so false, I find it so irritating. When she was younger her father and I used to say "voice" to her when she started talking in this way. However, she continues to use this voice. If someone else talks to her or her phone rings she starts talking normally. She's a warthog...... And I now communicate by disengaging
Love it! A warthog with a
Love it! A warthog with a Marilyn Monroe voice! Gotta remember that one. And Jennaspace, I think you have got the answer. I think they know it is fake too.
Made me think of an episode
Made me think of an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda orders Chinese from a restaurant on her block every night, always the same thing. The young girl who takes her order sounds something like your SD. She laughs in a very fake way. Miranda assumes she makes fun of her. She does not - that's just how she presents. Yes, it is fake .. the reasons vary.
Oh Poodle, just reading your
Oh Poodle, just reading your post made me smile and feel validated. I have SD28 who has the same wonderfully, irritating phoney-baloney voice. I could hear it's fake vibrato ringing in my head as I read your post. Dripping with false sincerity and the high-pitch twang - comparible to nails on a chalkboard. You're comment on problematic personality - SPOT ON! (and diagnosed as true, in my case). I believe it is an insecurity and lack of confidence on their part - mixed with a little manipulation of being nice to get what they want at times. Thanks for the good laugh and making me smile today.
My solution has been when she starts in on her 'ear-piecing squabble' - I leave the room, if I can
Interesting that someone
Interesting that someone wrote "marking their territory". What is that about? It's right though. very smart. Having a special Daddy voice is territorial isn't it? It says hey this is our little world and you can't come in. Scary. That's why my SD16 hangs around DH and therefore me like a shadow all weekend whenever we are around. Why?
Another "me too" post... SD22
Another "me too" post... SD22 uses that overly-sincere, bubbly tone all the time, makes me cringe likes nails on a chalkboard. She also talks in a singsong way, like you would expect from a 12 year old, not a 22 year old. Every phrase ends with her voice going up, as if followed by a question mark, like she's seeking your approval. Like this: "So yesterday I went to the store?, and I couldn't find my purse?, but then I saw my friend Jane?, and she said she could lend me 20 dollars if I paid her back by Thursday?, but I told her I don't get paid until Friday?, so she said that would be okay?, wasn't that nice of her?"
You know, I had a friend -
You know, I had a friend - and then my stepdaughter - who are both anorexics - do this same thing - end sentences with a question mark.
I later found out this is not uncommon in people who really don't have a good sense of themselves. They really are in question of who they are - thus the reason they end all of their sentences with a question mark.
I empathize with you - not sure how to help - except to suggest you stay away from her as much as possible.
I have a 42 yo SS who uses a
I have a 42 yo SS who uses a whimpy, drippy, wussy voice when he talks to me. I just want to barf.