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Freaking out about creepy ss9 meeting baby (need advice)

Newmom9's picture

I have a 5 month old and ss9 will be meeting him for the first time next week.

Ss9 will be staying here for seven f****ing weeks. He lives on the other side of the country.

Last summer, when we told him I was pregnant, he asked me what I would do if someone stabbed me in the belly. He also kept making drawings of the devil and aliens killing a baby.

After my much pleading his mother to put him in therapy (she is a creepy idiot herself), she took him to a few sessions and decided he was all right. Mind you, this is a kid who talked about suicide a few years ago.

Last summer was the worst summer of my life. That kid made my life a living hell while I suffered migraines and threw up a storm due to the pregnancy.

He came back twice before baby was born and was acting his best self, so I am hoping that he did change.

However, dh is absolutely in love with the baby and I know ss9 will freak out.

I am afraid to leave the baby with dh while ss9 is here even to take a shower, so I am freaking out that I will spend the whole summer worried about my son being alone with ss9.

What would you do? Am I overreacting?

Newmom9's picture

When? I have a hgh needs baby. Dh works all day. That's why ss9 will be going to camp (after my insisting with dh).

smartone's picture

How is anyone supposed to answer "when?" How about when you take him?! Or when his father does? I had a high needs baby, I get it. Why can't you pick him up from camp, bring him to therapist, then bring him back to camp? If you want to make a dent in this problem, you are going to have to DO something and not just sit around with a screaming baby in fear of your ss.

realitycheckmom's picture

Thanks, my DD was a preemie with lots of serious health issues and I somehow managed to do everything without any help. Her sperm donor walked out while I was pregnant so I managed by myself. It can be done if it is important to you.

When my daughter was four months old I packed my house up and moved 700 miles away with her and two dogs. If I can do that by myself you can handle some therapy appointments for a kid that may or may not harm your baby but most assuredly will benefit from the therapy because he will pick up on your apprehensions.

Still Have Hope's picture

Don't leave the baby alone with him. When I was pregnant with DD, SD was 8 and just as scary as your SS. Asking what would I do if someone killed the baby, who would we save first if there was a fire in the house and what if the baby fell down the stairs. I was very scared and DH didn't take my fears seriously.
So I just made sure I never left DD alone when skids were visiting. I showered with DD strapped in her bouncey seat next to the tub and the bathroom door locked. I kept her with me all the times. When I ran errands I took her with me. When the skids were at our house I made plans to visit with family for the day or shop with girlfriends at the baby friendly mall (had a beautiful nursing room with rockers and changing stations). DH just thought I was an overprotective first time mom.
I know it won't be easy but you can do it for your baby.

herewegoagain's picture

Sorry, you are NOT overreacting. It is what it is. What a nightmare. You should NOT leave your baby by himself to take a shower. Wait until your DH is there to take a shower or just don't take one...period. Sad