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Resentment & Punishment

TASHA1983's picture

Submitted by TASHA1983 on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 8:00am

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General Discussion

For those of you who DON'T LIKE your skids or being around them when your DH/SO has them for visits etc. Do you ever find yourself purposely or non-intentionally resenting your DH/SO or "punishing" him (Ex: not talking to him as much, not answering his texts/calls, refusing to be around him when he has his kids etc.) because you are upset, pissed, mad etc. that he has to spend time with his kids?

Emerold's picture

Submitted by Emerold on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 8:15am

The only time I get pissed off with my SO is when I have endured hours of hell with the SO because of the SK's and then when they want something and play nice he spouts their praises and angelic qualities. It annoys the crap out of me. I feel like I'm being used as a sounding board to vent on but I am expected to remain impartial so as not to step on the Skiddies toes. God forbid that happened!

I am learning to distance myself tbh. There won't be much to save at this rate.

stepalong's picture

Submitted by stepalong on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 8:42am

Yes...in the beginning. Now i like my stepkid but at first I was very passive aggressive and if he'd spend "too long" (in my opinion) tucking her in at night, for example, I would go to bed or leave and go to my sisters house or "run errands" w/o even saying bye or where I was going. Totally doesnt help a marriage and eventually we just go to where we threw down all the time till we both worked it out. Avoiding, as i was doing, does not help a marriage.

my.kids.mom's picture

Submitted by my.kids.mom on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 10:04am

Yeah, I am all for my bf spending time with his kids and not needing to be involved. We started out differently, but I saw the issues that bringing our families together would create, so now I'm good not seeing him at all when he's got them. At my age, I'm pretty up front about things. His youngest is fluent in baby talk and it drove me absolutely nuts. EVERYthing she does is "baby." I told him he needed to work with her on that and his reply was, "It doesn't bother me." I said that it would only be so long before I won't want to be around her anymore, and that was MONTHS ago (that I stopped wanting to be around her. Oh yeah...she wets her pants now). When someone else's world being put into your world causes you stress or anxiety, it isn't worth it. My only problem is that he still tries to force his "angels" on me. My kids enjoy playing with 2/3 of them, but after a couple of hours, we're good LOL. His way of parenting is not something I plan on forcing myself to deal with or ignore. I just don't want to be around it.

dledden's picture

Submitted by dledden on Tue, 05/29/2012 - 10:42am

My skid lives with us fulltime. Every few months the mother comes and takes the kid for a weekend. When she does, I do wicked fun party-like things with my biokids! fiancee never says a thing about it, but he probably notices i'm 'celebrating' because even my own kids say "are you gonna take us to XXX and leave ss8 out?" And I simply answer by saying "yes, yes I am"....too bad, when ss8's not here, which is like 3x a year, I CELEBRATE!!!!!!