SD10 is really adding to her list!!!
Last night my husband made some chocalate milk shakes. We do this about twice a week. Something we can do to have a bit of fam time along with games. Well we didn't play games last night. But as my SO handed out the shakes, my son who is 4 years old wanted to sit next to his stepsister. He loves to sit by her for some reason. Idk why. But as he scooted next to on the bench in our kitchen, she scooted over twice til she was at the end of it and moved to a chair. My son didn't keep moving closer. She was just trying to get away. So I called her out on it. I said "He just wanted to sit next to you" she looks at me and nods her head so I said " Well he wasn't bothering you. He just wanted to sit with you and drink shakes" she nods again and says "I know" so I said "Okay well if u don't want him sitting by you, you could atleast let him know or something! He is still young and just wanted to be by his sister!" She says "fine i'll move back" and goes back. I said "Well That's just rude!" Her dad asks what happened so I told him and he says nothing. I was so pissed off that again she scoots away from my son like he is contagious. He wasn't doing anything to bother her! And I feel her dad should have said something as well but he just sat on the couch. I wanted to cuss my SD out for that crap. Do I confront her today after school and tell her how rude that was b/c I am still bothered with that? I can see if my son was aggravating her but he wasn't. And he wasn't even that close. She was just being bitch as usual! I already don't like her but I wont tolerate her disrespecting my son and my baby son as well. I believe she needs to be called out more on this and since her dad wont speak, maybe I should? ? I really need to know how handle these situations. She has done this twice to him. When she goes outside she rides her bike but when my son goes,then she comes right back in and to her room to watch TV. She does this Shit all the time. Siblings may not get along all the time but being a bitch and trying to avoid your sibling is wrong. She got baptized 2 weeks ago. Wow... some Christian. Any suggestions on this? I even asked my son how that made him feel and he said that was mean. I just can't keep letting her do this vindictive stuff to my son. Its wrong and rude! Am I right?
I don't really see it as a
I don't really see it as a big deal. If you force them together, the more seperated they will become.
Well I haven't forced
Well I haven't forced anything. Don't plan to b/c I know how that feels with my half sister but my thing is, she can't be rude to him. My SO used to always tell me if my son hits his daughter then she will hit him bck. So they fight at times but when he is nice and loving which is most of the time, she is rude so when things don't work out he gets mad at her and may hit her then she come in crying but the way I see it.... I would be mean to her too if i'm always nice and she gonna be a bitch. What does she expect? This happens alot. I'm tired of it. She should not be rude to others if she don't want to be treated that way either. Fair game. Right?
I agree. Siblings will have a
I agree. Siblings will have a strong connection. My SD is 10. It just bugs me that she can be rude yet my son can't? My son is very considerate of her but she can still be mean? She is about to be in middle school. She should be bigger than that. I understand them playing together wont happen much but respect will be learned and she doesn't do this to her other brothers of her BM. So I don't get it...
My stepkids have the same
My stepkids have the same parents and they treat each other the same way, she is 10 and he is 14, almost 15 and he cannot stand her. I would allow the behavior your are describing personally, but I can see why it bothers you. I don't get kids at all these days. If the behavior escalates to name calling and hitting I would def intervene though. Sometimes being
away from someone is better that the alternative of them treating you (or in this case your son) badly, imho.
I was the same way with my
I was the same way with my bio sister, and we are 18 months apart. I hated having a younger sister always trying to tag along. I swear, she would have followed me to the bathroom if I didn't slam the door in her face.
I understand but shouldnt she
I understand but shouldnt she atleast tell him nicely to sit where he was or something? Me and my siblings, there is 5 of us, we all get along so great! Even my lil brother who is the same age as my sd get along. But maybe i'm blowing up too much about this. It just bugs me that she did that. I still feel she shouldn't get away with rudeness. At home, at night, she should atleast love her siblings and show it b/c in the end family is always there.
She could of told him that,
She could of told him that, but then you would of probably been on her for telling him to move/ get away from her. She just politly didn't say anything and moved herself. I would of wanted it that way.
True I may would have not
True I may would have not been happy about it and I may have said something but it wouldn't have gotten to me like last night. She always tells him to not do this and that so if she had said something, it wouldn't have bothered me as bad. Idk maybe there is no solution to the prob but to tell my 4 year old his Step sister don't wanna sit with him nor talk to him. That is hurtful to someone who don't understand. She wouldn't like it if her friends just up and left her b/c they didn't want to be by her. Ijs. There's gotta be another way around this problem. It can't keep happening . I mean, its okay for my Sd to go outside and play knowing good as well a toddler will want to play outside too and then she can come in and not play with him? Leaving him outside? We don't live in a neighborhood. We are out in the country. He has friends but not near our house. I don't expect her to play with him all the time but I do expect acknowledgement. Its rude not to.
I think the best solution is
I think the best solution is to give her a chance. Try this.... acknowledge that there is a age difference, understand how the older sibling feels about the SUPOSED "annoying little brother". I was the "annoying little sister" myself lol. Ask her this... "Would you please, just spend one hour a day playing with him? I understand you are older and you want your space, but he is your brother, he loves you and just wants to spend a little time with his big sister. That is all I ask of you, is to accept him, respect him and give him just an hour of sister/brother time. He would love that!" And tell him, "Do not bug your sister, you will play with her during you and her time." That’s what I would try in this situation; It wouldn't hurt to give it a try.
That's sounds like a great
That's sounds like a great Idea! I will try this b/c that is all I ask of her really. She goes to her BM's house every other weekend but she is going to her moms again this weekend too and that leaves my toddler alone except when we go to my parents who lives in a neighborhood full of kids his age. But she also goes to her Nana's and she's hardly here basically. I just feel she should acknowledge him so I will try that technique. It couldn't hurt. Thank you!
I like that idea too stepmom
I like that idea too stepmom 1989. But may i suggest starting off with a half hour. I am the oldest of my siblings and there were great age gaps between me and them, and quite honestly i had no interest in "playing" with them. And an hour, while not much time to an adult or small child could seem like an ETERNITY to a adolesent.
I have the same scenerio in my home now (all bio kids) my baby and then her siblings. My middle child is 12, NO interest. It is like pulling teeth getting her to do something for 15 minutes with the baby. I don't force it. It will be this way for a while i am sure.
I agree with the others, it sounds normal what your sd did. I can also see your point, your little guy reaching out and basically getting rejected. I'm sure that the things that go on in your blended family make this mole hill a mountain. You have the right to be upset/hurt by it.
I would've spoke up and said to my son, "aww, honey come sit next to mommy. (or i will sit next to you) sd doesn't want to sit near you this time. Maybe next time we have our shakes she can? Let's ask her."
"sd, do you think maybe next time you can sit next to son while we drink our shakes? it would mean alot to him, and I would be so grateful?"
I think doing that acknowledges to your son that it is okay for someone not to want to sit next to someone at times, acknowledge to your sd her right to choose not to sit next to him, and give her the choice of sitting next to him next time.
That is just my two cents.
I agree! Half an hour is prob
I agree! Half an hour is prob good. Lol. And I got like that suggestion as well. I do that when she don't want to play with him and I play with him but then... she wanna include herself or if I invite my brother who is 10 the same age as SD, he adores playing with his nephew, but then she wanna include herself but I tell her no b/c she couldn't when I asked earlier. But allow her to after 30 min of the boys playing. I appreciate all the feed back. It made me realize a few things. Thank you!
Turtles, that is hilarious!!!
Turtles, that is hilarious!!!
Turtles- I like the names.
Turtles- I like the names. Lol. That is really a good!
I was the same way with my
I was the same way with my little bother. It gets annoying having a little kid follow you around EVERYWHERE. that's no excuse, but it is an explanation. It's normal, and when they get older, it wont be such a big deal.
As far as confronting her when she gets off of school, that would only exacerbate the problem. You would be essentially confronting her after-the-fact. That will only create bad blood between the two of you, as well as making her resent your son for something so simple. I'd let it go. As hard as that can seem sometimes. When it happens again, pull her aside instead of calling her out and explain how she should feel awesome to have such a cool little kid want to hang around her and be like her. That if she wants alone time, that's ok, but she needs to vocalize that so his feelings aren't hurt.
That's a difficult situation, but you'll make it through.
Misskyia- I agree. I thought
Misskyia- I agree. I thought about confronting her but I didn't. It still bugs me. I could really care less if it put a wedge between us but I don't want a big argument with my SO either. She stays in her room alot! Hardly comes out. It leaves my son alone but I can't wait until my baby can crawl b/c my 4 year old will be so happy and before I know it they will be playing like buddies. (I hope) my toddler does great now withand the baby.He's the toddler daddy. Lol. He can't wait to play iron man with his brother. My SD will be a flea to my boys then. Lmbo.. ( may not be funny but then again..it is!)
Shes 10. Let it pass.as long
Shes 10. Let it pass.as long as shes not hurting or pushing or yelling at your ds, its a normal thing.