bf just left....
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he's gone. sd and i dont know where he is. he didnt take either vehicle, left his wallet....
today is his bday. every year he declines a cake, party and gifts....i have been sick and onestly forgot due to that and other stresses...but i did say happy bday...
he sent me a text at 9 that said "fuck u. and goodbye."
money is always an issue...we have none right now, and bills are due soon for april....
the last i saw him was when we were laying with bd for bed. he got up and left the room. when bd was asleep i went out to smoke a cig and notiuced he was gone...but front door securly locked...he must have snuck out the side door....
i can give more details later or tomorrow but i dnt know what the fuck is going on...
we didnt even really fight
we didnt even really fight today. he had court for sd in the a.m. i went to ER cause i couldnt take the pain anymore (severe sinus infection). i thought all was good. he talked (yelled) at his mom on the phone, i guess he was telling her how he feels (like a failure) and she must not have said what he needed to hear from his mother...idk.
he gets like this when we run
he gets like this when we run out of money...money makes him who he is. not enuff and he feels like shit and spreads it around. too much (like tax return time) he is a kid in a candy store....i cant fix anything. i dont know what else to do but apologize to him for what I have done wrong these last 7yrs....
You have nothing to apologize
You have nothing to apologize for.
He should thank you for putting up with his shit. I would have told him to kick rocks a long time ago.
Sorry you're going through
Sorry you're going through this now. I hope he returns home safely soon.
Lack of money is hard on a relationship and especially hard on men who grew up being told they are responsible for supporting the family.
he wasnt taught that. his
he wasnt taught that. his mother has always helped him out...SHE spoiled him from day one. he EXPECTS his mom to help cause she always does.
as far as sd goes, her behavior is killing him and he doesnt know what to do and wont listen to anyone who tells him what to do.
i love him. i truly do. but he is a babyboy. spoiled rotten. real life scares him. didnt have daddy to teach him to be a man, cause his daddy left when he was like 12 and tld him he cant see him anymore, per bf's stepmoms request....and all the men his mommy brought into his life have been shit (abusers, alcohlics)...so while bf is a big muscular guy who claims he is a 'man'...he is a torn up little boy still in the deep recesses of his soul.
Your putting to much on
Your putting to much on yourself for the choices of another grown adult and how he is responding to things. If you are truely worried, you can't reach him and his friends and family can't, then it may be time to ask yourself "is he a danger to himself" if the answer is yes, report it to the police. Hugs to you tonight, I hope it all is brighter in the morning.
I am sorry you are going
I am sorry you are going through this right now, but I don't understand how you can make up excuses for a "man" who sends you a text saying "FU"...I think you need to start taking care of yourself and stop trying to fix some guy who still is blaming his lack of a daddy being there for his behavior.
HE isnt blamming this on his
HE isnt blamming this on his daddy issues...he actually claims he doesnt have any, im just speculating...he's back now, he was laying in the back of his truck....now he's on the couch...
Sorry he sent you that filthy
Sorry he sent you that filthy text, and then just went to his truck. What's in store for you next?
I don't know about your
I don't know about your situation, but I'm going to do some guessing from the outside. He sounds like he's spoiled, yes. He reminds me of my son. When all is well (financially) he's on top of the world, looking for the next purchase. Any talk of responsibility at times of money, and "you're a bitch ruining the moment" If that sounds familiar, then I'm not too far off the mark. He needs to grow up. This fit throwing, text msging bullshit, pity party is just that, a pity party. Responding to it by apologizing will only justify the next round. YOU CAN'T FIX HIM. Only he can decide when the boy has to grow up. I really feel for you. My son has made me miserable in times of stress. It has often times only been all about him. And the thing is, HE IS THE ONE CAUSING HIS OWN PROBLEMS. Victim by choice, big fat baby boy by design. Let him sulk and pout and feel sorry for himself. I have found that simply living your life and letting people like this witness that your life does not change with a bank balance, is the best medicine. Best of luck.
i took back my apologies.
i took back my apologies. because he is pro-sd again. this dumb kid violated her youth diversion for an incident that happened last july, so the courts have put her on probation (basically the rules are things HE should have instilled years ago)
no facebook
chores
cerfew
good grades
just to name a few. but now that its court ordered, he is going to make sure its followed? fucked up. once the kids leave for school, before our meeting with bd's school, we are talking. what he doesnt know is that im thinking of moving out. u all are right, he's a fuckin baby.
We all make mistakes in life,
We all make mistakes in life, however you cant keep apologising for yours and allowing your OH to continue to treat you, his family like dirt while he makes horrendous large errors repeatedly.
If you continue to apologise for whats in your past, then he will use them to beat you for the head with, excuse his own awful behaviour and actually it will nuture it. So stop it.
You cant fix this man, he is responsible for his own decisions and actions. Not taking advice, refusing to address situations sensibly and instead behaving abusive and irresponsibly is HIS fault. No one forced him to text you that vile message, no one forced him to act like a child and leave the house. He did it in order to solicite a panicked response from you, to get whatever reaction he was hoping to make him feel better, punish you (maybe gets off on that) and have power over you (while you worried he had left for good). His message was mean and dramatic.
What kind of person does that to someone they love? If you have problems, you talk it through. You reach a consensus on how to resolve it and identify how to avoid that issue again. NOT continue to make the same mistakes, throw a tantrum, blame everyone else for your shitty decisions and act spitefully in the hopes of hurting people to make himself feel better.
Sounds like he is caught up in a vicious dysfunctional cycle and refuses to FIX his own issues, to step off it.
All YOU can control is how you react to the situation. If you seriously have had to endure that crap for 7 years then I would be considering how to improve things for me and my kids. THAT is what you are responsible for.
They are often hard decisions to make but in the end you will probably be happier, secure and have healthy boundaries in how you want to be treated. As right now, you arent being treated well at all!