To those currently in Step-Hell, or to those who might be enjoying a brief respite from skid-related drama, I bid you good day.

If you have been following my posts over the last few months, you know that I was recently granted an unexpected "pardon" from my sentence in step-prison when my SD17's "double life" was exposed. Unbeknowst to DW, and also to her bio-daddy, SD17 had been smoking pot, cutting classes, and dating secret "gangster" boyfriends. This was, of course, in addition to royally playing DW off against bio-daddy, since SD17 knew that DW and bio-daddy do not have an amicable relationshiip, and are not able to coordinate parenting in any way. After the double life was revealed, SD17 was sent to live with her bio-daddy, who is much more strong-willed than my DW, and hopefully will get SD17 straightened out. Since SD17's departure, my quality of life has dramatically improved. It has even gotten better for DW, since she no longer has to deal with SD17's daily BS.

Although I am still angry with SD17 for all of the crap that she pulled, I am gradually decompressing all of the pent-up frustration and resentment. As a part of this process, I thought that it would be cathartic to share some of the long-running stories or step-themes that I have been dealing with over the last 15+ years. Some of these may have been brought up before, or at least mentioned briefly, but I am going to make an effort to focus mostly on "untold stories." When I started reviewing my mental rollodex of SD17-related BS, I immediately harkened back to one of the longest-running, most pervasive SD17 behaviors: her hypochondriac cons.

As a bit of background, SD17 has suffered her share of legitimate injuries in her life. For instance, she broke both of her arms on different occasions while staying at her bio-daddy's house, due to a lack of proper supervision on his part. She is also extremely clumsy, and broke her foot when she dropped a can on it. (there are also some "dare-devil" type injuries, but I'll touch on those in a separate post). In addition to physical injuries, SD17 also was legitimately sick several times during her childhood and early teen years, with documented cases of sinus infections, the flu, etc.

However, SD17 quickly caught on to the fact that she could claim a non-specific "ache," when she wanted attention, knowing that we could not disprove the alleged illness. I can't count the number of times that she claimed to have a "stomach ache," or a "pain in her side." SD17 is not stupid, and knew that DW would go absolutely bonkers if SD17 claimed to be feeling sick. This resulted in many trips to the doctors office, which SD17 freaking LOVED, because of all the attention. Of course, the doctor would examine SD17, and not turn up any objective findings. This, of course, was because SD17 wasn't sick. She was just making up phony "tummy-aches" and the like, in order to corner the market it DW's time and attention.

Over the years, SD17 further refined her con, and would complain of "aches" during times when the doctor's office was closed. This would result in an immediate trip to the Emergency Room, which was the ultimate in parental worry and concern. SD17 would again get to monopolize DW's time, and would be showered with gifts and sympathy from the extended family. Amazingly, though, the ER doctors failed to turn up any objective findings, just as the family doctor failed to find anything. I guess this wasn't surprising, since there was NOTHING WRONG with SD17. I lost track of the exact number, but we had more than a few ER visits where there were no objective findings. The highlight was a two-week stay at Children's Hospital, when after an exhaustive battery of tests, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WAS FOUND.

Back when all of this was happening, I was still laboring under the misconception that DW could ever be rational about her kids, and see when they were conning her. When I tried to gently point out the pattern of SD17's behavior, and gently reminded DW that there were never any objective findings, DW would get indignant, and just say that whenever SD17 had been to the doctor or ER, that "SD17 had been very sick," and that was all there was to it. She absolutely would not entertain the idea that SD17 had been playing her. The truth was very clear to me, but DW just wasn't having it. I felt like I was taking crazy pills.

As time went on, SD17 gradually migrated away from this type of attention-seeking behavior, preferring to focus on more normal teen-activities like smoking pot, cutting class, and dating multiple sketchy guys. However, I never forgot about all of her phony illnesses, because SD17 continued using her "acting skills" in other ways, like when she gave her BS excuses for missing class, or when she would try to manipulate DW into buying her things. I sometimes wish that I had realized back then that the fake illnesses were a portent of things to come, but I guess it wouldn't have mattered. DW had her "skid" blinders on, and wasn't going to listen to anyone. As many on here have noted, skids can usually do not wrong in the guilty parent's eye.

I know this was long, but I have been wanting to get it off my chest for a long time. Maybe it will help serve as a warning for step-parents on here, who could possibly detect this behavior in their own skids, and maybe even nip it in the bud. Failing that, perhaps I have help build some awareness for this particular type of skid manipulation.

Look for another post in my "Decompression Diary," coming soon. Have a great day.