So DH wants to get SD8 a cell phone because she lives out of state and BM doesn't have a phone. He wants to do this because not talking with his kid is driving him nuts....which I can understand. BM can't afford to have a phone so she wants them to communicate over skype. The problem is that BM is never online for him to talk with his daughter and the connection is horrible (lots of static and interruptions). I don't want to be a meanie, but I do not want to get SD a cell phone for the following reasons:
1. She is only 8 and not responsible enough for a phone. I watch her leave her belongings all over the place when she is here. "Where is your DS?" "I left it at grandmas." That's not acceptable with a phone we are paying for.
2. It would be enabling BM. Financial hardship sucks for anyone, if you got yourself in that situation or it's circumstance. However, I do not want to finance a phone for BM because that is exactly what would happen if we gave SD a phone. It would cease to become the child's phone and it would become the family phone. I think DH is willing to run that risk just to talk with his daughter but I have an uneasy feeling in my gut about this. This is mean to say, but her financial hardship is not our problem. She is getting three times the child support she did in the past and we help with medical bills outside of CS. A cell phone addition is overkill IMHO.
3. Our cell phone bill is already enormous because we have to finance a phone for DH's father (who can't afford a phone). The option of taking him off the phone and giving that line to SD is not an option, especially since his grandma is ill and needs that contact to be open. We simply can't afford another cell phone line. I will know every time I pay this bill that BM will be enjoying a free phone on my dime.
4. A phone in his daughters hands doesn't mean he will talk with her more. She HATES talking on the phone. I see it when she is here. She snubs her nose at talking with anyone over the phone, even her mom. I just don't see her picking up the phone or even hearing it ring cause she has it tucked in a bag somewhere. When BM did have a phone, it was impossible to reach her anyway. He would complain about how she never picks up the phone or gets back to him. What makes him think that will change if he provided a phone?
5. Along with a phone comes great responsibility. I am not comfortable handing over a phone to a child and not being able to explain to her the responsibilities, rules and consequences. Since we would not be there, it would be up to BM to do it and I don't trust her to do it with OUR phone. We wouldn't have the chance to ease her into the responsibility.

I would like DH to arrange something else or have a talk with BM about how this is hampering his relationship with his daughter. Am I wrong in how I feel? Am I out of line? Sorry this is so long.