child support should be in the best interest of the child
Not sure why so may parents paying support complain about the amount. It generally includes food, shelter and really cheap clothing - that's it. It does not include PTO for the custodial parent missing work to take the child to the Dr. It does not include gas expense to drive the child to and from places. It does not inlcude extracurricular activities. Etc.
As a parent who received it and a step parent who paid via my spouse trust me being the paying spouse with visitation is truly the better end of the deal. So, for those of you still paying, you are getting the better end of the bargain. Unless, of course, you are one of those parents that do get more than the court ordered support. You should be proud of yourselves for acting in the best interest of your child and taking your emotions out of it.
That is strange that they
That is strange that they would serve you?? Totally agree with you. If you pay (and even if you don't) you should get visitation. They are two separate issues. It should be about the child not the parents. Good luck!
What about the NCPs that pay
What about the NCPs that pay but DON'T get the court ordered visitation?
That is commendable. My
That is commendable. My daugther likes her step mom even though we have our moments. If my daughter likes her I am happy. I am a step mom too. My step daughter is in her 20s. We are good. Never an issue really. Except that she manipulates her father (my husband) via guilt for being a distant father (not by his choice). The poor kids. It is just sad for them because they don't know what is going on.
1st, there are very few who
1st, there are very few who complain about cs when they too receive it. Only those who receive less than they pay out usually see the injustice of the courts and crazy bms.
2nd, nobody gets paid for PTO when theiy take off to take care of a child, people receiving cs should be no different.
3rd, if you want to get paid for being a parent, maybe you should hand custody over to your ex and stop having kids. NOBODY gets paid to be a parent.
4th, cs should not cover ALL EXPENSES, but 1/2 of the expenses, as the paying parent didn't make the child alone and most of the time they also have to spend money on all the things you mentioned when the child is with them. The CP is never made to help with these expenses when the NCPhas the child.
5th, custodial parents usually are helped by the government when they lose a job, don't make enough to properly feed& take care of their child...even if the loss of income isdue to laziness. NCPs go to JAIL!!!
6th, families all over the world are not guaranteed a standard of living or a hefty payment if they lose their job at any time or suffer a loss of income. Children of divorce should be no different.
7th, gas money??? I don't get a tax credit or extra money to drive my child to and from places. Normally schools provide transportationor the school is close enough to your home that dropping off/picking up child from school should not make any impact on the gas spent by the adults. Gas spent on drvisits should be minimal unlessyour child is special needs and if so, you normally get another hefty check from the government or can deduct the cost from your taxes.
8th, did you addon the few $$$ you get in tax breaks by not counting the money as income as well as normally getting the tax deductions and credit from the IRS?
9th, extra curricular activities, designer clothes and cell phones are not neccesities in life. In intact families, even some with lots of extra money, these things are agreed upon by the adults and sometimes are done and sometimes not. Just because parents are divorced should not be a reason for parents, kids or society for these things to be provided.
10th, I can tell you that there is not a single bio-parent living in an intact family who spends 20% of their income, before paying taxes, rent, savings forretirement, etc on any of their children. My phone bill, cable, internet, car insurance, rent and electricity are identical or almost identical whether i have one extra kid here or not. Only food and water are different and the cost of water is prettty cheap.
7th,
I know in my bf's case, it's
I know in my bf's case, it's about the money going to the bm and him not having control in how it's spent. That is very aggravating, especially since she kicked him out, told him he would never see the kids and he has had to take time off work for court dates and meeting lawyers so he could fight for his kids. I told him that if they were still together, she would cost him more, because at least now he only has to take care of his kids and not them AND her LOL. I do believe that when women just decide they don't want to be married anymore, they should be required to better themselves so the father doesn't have to pay so damn much. If you can't support 50% of your kids' needs...you should be required to figure out how to. Making men pay 75% of the children's needs so the bm can laze it up isn't right. Especially when the man is fighting to have the kids more, which would help the mom go to school, get training, etc. My bf jokes about how the judge was apologetic during their divorce bc his cs was so much because his ex "has no skills." LOL I was a SAHM when I divorced, and have been fully supporting myself and my kids working at home, so there is no excuse.
I see what is going on here,
I see what is going on here, but am going to respond anyway. In my case WE have full-custody of my stepkids. WE take them to the doctor, WE take them to the dentist, WE buy ALL the clothing. WE buy ALL the school supplies, ALL the food (we send food w/them to their mother's house one day a week, because otherwise they only eat bread and peanut butter). WE pay for anything and EVERYTHING. And still, WE pay child support, because their mother doesn't work. And yet she has on brand new clothes everytime we see her.
Yes, I agree with you that child support should be about the best interest for the child. However, don't assume that a biomom always has the best interest for the child in mind.
I don't understand why you
I don't understand why you would have to pay the NCP child support? or is she getting alimony? That is freaky.
No, she doesn't get alimony.
No, she doesn't get alimony. She has no job and no income. SO makes about $40k a year, and even though we full custody and have them well over half the time, we still have to pay her over $400 a month. None of which goes to them, unless you count the very minimal amount of water/electricity they use while they are at her house about one day a week.
Herewegoagain brought up some
Herewegoagain brought up some valid points.
custodialparent...you obviously are not a second wife, watching $700.00 a month go from your household to the ex wife's. $700.0 a month that would benefit your family. Why does a bm "need" that much money for 2 kids? Give me a break! I don't spend $350.00 a month on each of my individual kids. That's nuts. My DH's fat-ass ex collected c.s. from 2 different men. Must be nice, huh?