This kid needs a diagnoises!
Here's a list of SS7s issues
1. Has speech issue and school has dismissed him from speech class because they say there is nothing more that can be done to improve him
2. He failed the 1st grade and is on the road to failing it again this school year
3. BM, PGM, DH all practically do his homework for him because he says "I caaaannnn't" or "They didn't show us how" or "We learned it last week so I don't know how now"
4. He WILL NOT make eye contact with DH, tries to keep his head turned when DH is talking to him and when he is replying
5. Hides behind DH when I am near and he want's to beg for something
6. Goes unpunished for EVERYTHING done expect for a "talking to" yea like that helps!
7. He is NOT excited about ANYTHING.. Birthday, Christmas, gifts in general, he could careless. Example at Christmas he never asked to talk to Santa, never asked how many days till Christmas, NOTHING
8. He is WAAAAAY jealous of me and DH, gets mad when we kiss, gets between us when we hold hands in stores, wants DH to pack him or hold his hand (not the other hand, the hand that I have), gets mad cause DH and I sit together on the couch.
9. Obsessed with guns, knives, killing things
10. Can't simply add 3+4, can't read worth a crap, can't focus, can't do anything independantly
This is a very strange child!.. I think he is bipolar, has ODD, ADD, ADHD or SOMETHING! But DH's excuse for getting him checked out by a developmental pediatrician is "well if they give him meds that BM won't give it to him when he's there so it won't do any good"
He sounds wonderful *eye
He sounds wonderful *eye roll*, hell in 20 yrs him and my SD might be a match made in heaven lol. SD did the same crap at Christmas Eve, FIL pretty much begged her to open presents, when she finally did there was no smiles, no thank you, just the same stupid blank stare she always does. Does your SS "hate" everything/everyone too? That is like SD's favorite phrase when she does talk, it's "I hate this, I hate so and so" on and on.
he doesn't say "hate" he says
he doesn't say "hate" he says he doesn't like this or that or whoever... he never smiles, never laughes unless it is over something that is very not funny, and we are like, "Stop laughing, you don't laugh at that, that is not funny"... he laughes at serious matters... and LIES OMG the lies he tells, one thing I did agree with BM was she said one day to DH that she thinks SS is a big storyteller.. in other words... your child is a liar lol
my mom says he is the type of
my mom says he is the type of kid that grows up and kills people... he will give you the death stare, like I will kill you in your sleep look... I think this kid has some serious mental/emotional issues, but no one will do anything about it as far as getting him in with a Dr.
and let me add that he wakes
and let me add that he wakes up in the middle of the night CONSTANTLY and yells... "Daaaaaaaahh" not Dad, Dah.. DH is a heavy sleeper but I am a very light sleeper so it wakes me and I just let him yell.. he will get up and come thru the house yelling "Daaaahh".. when he gets to the kitchen he stops, gets under the bar and starts again, now he begins crying.. Dh still doesn't wake, SS7 does not come any further closer to the bedroom, when DH finally wakes from teh yelling and crying he goes to the kitchen and SS crawls from under the bar and says "why didn't you come" Dh says "well I guess cause I was sleeping, what do you want?".. SS says, "I wanted to know what you are doing" or "what time are you getting up".. For one it's 3am he's doing what everyone does SLEEP!.. for 2 he will get up when he wakes up or it's time for work.. but obviously he is ALREADY awake so why are you asking when he is waking up!!??.. This is 3 out of 7 days a week!!!!!
He needs to be checked for
He needs to be checked for autism.
that's what I was thinking,
that's what I was thinking, my ss8 is autistic and has some similar behaviors.
Wow...my SS had a lot of
Wow...my SS had a lot of these behaviors prior to getting him diagnosed...he is PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified)...SOME behaviors were due to his "condition" while others were because he was just a spoiled little turd.
1. SS (then 6) had (BAD) speech issues too...he has seen speech therapists, occupational therapists & play/group as well.
2. Same with my SS...turns out, once he learned to FOCUS, things became MUCH simpler
3. Same as above...SO & MIL just had to stop believing he was too stupid to "get it"...turns out the kids a whiz with math! He now gets STRAIGHT A'S!!
4. He still has difficulty making/maintaining eye contact...this is because of the PDD
5. This is normal turdy kid behavior...your DH needs to put a STOP to it (both SS & SD STILL try this crap!)
6. SO FINALLY started doing other forms of punishment (muscle memory works WONDERS!!!)
7. Both my SKids were like this because they got whatever they wanted whenever they wanted it...therefore, nothing was special...this has been stopped because I found it disgusting!
8. See my response for 5 (the sooner your DH puts a stop to THIS crap the better!)
9. SS seemed to enjoy torturing animals & small children...SO had to come down HARD on him for this type of behavior...NOT OKAY!!!
10. See my response for 2 & 3
Three years later, my SS is not medicated, is still a turd (as is normal for any 9 year old boy) but understands that he, unlike other children needs to work extra hard on his interactions with others & his focus. His therapies have worked wonders but if SO hadn't "manned up", I believe his progress would not be where it is today.
I can honestly say that had my SO NOT stepped up to the plate & did what he needed to do for the well-being of his children (yes, both of them were suffering), I would not have stuck around to witness the joke of an outcome.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this...if BM & BD aren't on board to help THEIR child, you are banging your head against a wall.
I have felt like I am banging
I have felt like I am banging my head against a wall for the past 2 years. There are sooooo many excuses but no results. If I had my own kid and I seen it had issues I would not make excuses I would make results happen... I mentioned tonight about the bipolar, ADD, ODD, ADHD, and like always his excuse is... "even if I get him diagnosed and get medicine, his mom won't give it to him while he is there so it won't do any good".. my reaction... SO THEN CALL DHS/CS on her ass for not taking care of him properly DUH! He just doesn't want to hear that his child has some friggin mental issues goin on cause he knows I am right!... he says "I think his problem is he is jealous of you"... ok..we know that but his jealousness has nothing to do with school/speech/Daaaahh shit in the middle of the night!!!!
My SS is not medicated...his
My SS is not medicated...his behaviors have gotten better due to us having him on a strict schedule (he NEEDS it), regular work on focus, minimal electronics & LOADS of lego play...therapy was of course a life-saver...but he has NEVER been medicated (SO does NOT want him medicated...I am trying to get him to be more open minded about that).
It honestly doesn't sound like (at least) MOST of what you have listed as potential diagnosis's...but it could easily be MANY different things from PDD to Aspergers to a simple (yet VERY tricky) personality disorder (coupled with something else explaining the speech issues).
My SO fought me tooth & nail about getting him seen & tested...I ended up researching the disorders that had the same characteristics as what my SS portrayed...specifics I looked for were -
Delays in speech development
Inability to react appropriately
Lack of coordination (hand/eye)
Avoiding soft touch
Avoiding eye contact
Uncontrollable screaming (Autistic spectrum sounding...NOT joking!)
Delayed basic developmental behaviors (I researched what was NORMAL & went from there)
Inability to maintain friendships (due to inappropriate behavior on SS's part)
Lack of feelings of guilt or remorse
Complete inability to focus (unless it was on the TV)
Need for CONSTANT oral stimulation (putting toys & other things into his mouth)
These were my basics that I started looking into & came up with a nice little list to show my SO...he was angry about it at first but when I'd nudge him when one of these behaviors would come out, he started seeing what I was talking about.
My SO initially thought I was bad-mouthing SS so I made sure to always put my criticism into a "poor SS" scenario...for example, "Poor SS REALLY wants to play with Nephew! I feel bad because Nephew tried playing with SS but doesn't want to now because SS kept screaming in his ear & climbing on him, even though Nephew asked him to stop." or "Poor SS is getting picked on AGAIN at school...the teacher said that some of the boys were making comments about SS's screaming like a baby! I wish we could help him stop that behavior...it's only going to get him beat up...he's in 1st grade & far too old for that!"...I could give MANY more examples.
After about 6 months of me trying different tactics, I saw changes in SS & so did SO & MIL...this is what opened the door to getting him to agree to have him tested...once he was diagnosed, the therapies worked WONDERS! The therapists can give LOADS of suggestions on what to do to rectify many of the behaviors you mention.
Sorry this is so long...you can IM me if you want to
Sounds to me like aspergers
Sounds to me like aspergers sydrome.
My cousin has it, and was the same when he was younger. There are many forms of it, different strengths. it def sounds more like a disability he cannot control.
Sounds like crappy parenting
Sounds like crappy parenting and a kid under too much stress...
I am glad I am not the only
I am glad I am not the only one who thinks this kid has some kind of issue... someone mentioned ORAL stimulation... SS7 keeps his hands in his mouth constantly! or he will will chew on his shirt/coat.. he puts the lead end of pencils in his mouth.. nobody tells him to quit but me... he will put money in his mouth if you don't watch him... and he will twist his fingers all the time... it does sound like a form of Autism without the loud screaming, other than Daaahhhhh in the middle of the night for no reason
It is amazing what behavior
It is amazing what behavior bio-parents will dismiss. FH and BM allowed SS16 to wet the bed up until THIS YEAR without medical intervention. Guess who finally had to kick up enough fuss with FH to finally get SS16 to the doctor?????? Yup - the evil stepmother who "hates him." I humbly suggest that the real hate is letting a child lay in his own piss periodically for 16 years. But what do I know? I don't have children of my own.....
•An interest in fires or
•An interest in fires or starting fires (a firestarter)
•Cruelty to animals
•Bed wetting that lasts longer than normal
•Total lack of conscience, empathy or compassion for others
•Truancy
•Lying, manipulative and deceptive behavior
•Lack of remorse or indifference
•Avoiding intimacy such as hugs
•Vandalism to property
•Bizarre writings or drawings which depicts scenes of violence against women
•Preoccupied with violence
•Acting out in a sexually inappropriate manner
•Seeks immediate gratification of needs
And instead of "diagnosing" a sociopath in the olden days, the following cures were available:
1. A spanking and making the kid hold a lighted match until it burned down and he felt the "heat."
Success rate? 99% of the subset of children with "firestarter" tendencies.
2. A spanking and subsequent pulling of the child's ear to feel the pain he/she's inflicting on animals
Success rate? 98% of the subset of children with animal cruelty tendencies
3. Making the child launder his own bedclothes; offering rewards for not wetting the bed
Success rate? 90% of the subset of children who delay bedwetting routines
4. Spanking, taking away of privileges, stories read to child with "morals" using the phrase "aren't you ashamed of yourself?" liberally. Success rate? 99% of the subset of children who have "delayed conscience"
5. Punishment; writing of "lines" Parental involvement and intense supervision and scrutiny
Success rate? 96% of the subset of children who are prone to truancy
6. Punishment, consequences for actions, Parental involvement and intense supervision and scrutiny.
Success rate? 96% of the subset of children who are prone to chronic deception
7. See number 4
8. Love bombing child; making sure physical affection is easily attained (although in my day, this was strictly optional: see the book "Tom Brown's school days")
9, 10, 11 see number 4
12, 13 see number 4
Number 13 is mostly due to uber lazy "instant gratification/pacification" parents.
And most of society turned out ok without having been "diagnosed" with some sort of ailment or another and being heavily dosed with psychiatric drugs. Of course those were the day were crime=punishment
And all of these "symptoms" are a "check" when it comes to GG's kids except for truancy but that will be next b/c they're still young now but are doing abysmally in school.
Ahhh, the good old days!
Ahhh, the good old days! }:)
I concur!!
I concur!! :evil:
I have tried and tried and
I have tried and tried and tried to get DH to SPANK, PUNISH, DISCIPLINE SS, but all he does is give him a "talking to".. yyyeeeaaa buddy that works let me tell you.. I have heard "the next time you do that I will bust your ass" or " IF YOU EVER THINK OF PULLING THAT SHIT AGAIN I WILL SET UR HINDEND ON FIRE WITH MY BELT" till I am sick of it and I can repeat word for word his TALKING TOs... when is the next time going to be the time that you actually BUST HIS ASS???? When I say "well if you would bust his ass" he says it ain't that easy, you don't have ur own, you'll see if you ever have one, you wont spank it either... BULLSHIT, WATCH ME! I got my ass busted when I was little and so will my kid... but then again if my kid see's SS acting out and not getting any punishment then that means bio shouldn't get it either.. right?
Sounds like autism spectrum
Sounds like autism spectrum to me as well. But what I really wanted to add is that "medication" is hardly the panacea some people think it is. Meds are overly prescribed for kids and all it does is start a whole new set of problems because most kids on them don't need them. If we just fed kids right and avoided a lot of the crap added to foods, looked into food sensitivities and allergens, etc. it would make a world of difference. Also, avoid fluoridated water. We don't want to look at all those "inconveniences" but we want to medicate our children to make them appear "normal." Just doesn't make sense...
I don't care if they medicate
I don't care if they medicate him or not, I want a diagnoses so that DH sees his child has a problem that needs to be addressed in some way, weither it's meds, theraphy or a good ol ass bustin'