Hospitalized over my vacation stress related...
I took vacation from work prior to Christmas. I had a week off.
Basically, I had 4 days to do everything I needed to do to get ready for Christmas Eve (our big celebration night)
Of course, I had no help from the SS or his GF to do anything. No cleaning, no cooking, no nothing. It was pretty much all up to me.
Tuesday night, I had stomach pains, Wednesday night, I woke up at 3am doubled over
Thursday I went to see my doctor, who insisted I go to the emergency room. I drove myself there and they brought me in. I had a CT Scan and pain meds. They took blood, etc…
No infection, thankfully. They found that I had swelling of the Ileum. Went over my diet, symptoms and “lifestyle” (I don't smoke, I do have wine nearly every night, sometimes coctails on the weekends)
the problem was of “unknown etiology “
The doctor said it could be Crohn’s Disease, and he also asked me about my stress level. (um, through the roof)
He said that stress can cause all kinds of gastroenterology problems.
My SS and my husband went to the hospital to go get my car when I came home. On the way there, SS says to my husband “I’ll bet she tries to say that all this is stress related because we’re living here”
Do ya’ think? Living here and doing NOTHING to contribute and not paying rent!
I wound up pulling off Christmas Eve… thought the house wasn’t as clean as I wished it could be and my husband wound up doing most of the Christmas shopping (Thankfully I had my bio daughters and my step-daughter’s presents nearly done) Christmas Eve night, had another bout with stomach pain, and then again Christmas night.
I am back to work today… sadly, I’m at my lowest stress level in a week, here at work.
go figure! Being at home for a full week, with these a-holes cause me enough stress to land me in the hospital!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's that song that
What's that song that says............
"I'm packing all my troubles in your suitcase, and things will be much better when you're gone."
I think this song applies to your situation.
Here is a link that might also help.
http://www.newyorklife.com/nyl/v/index.jsp?contentId=13762&vgnextoid=d0b...
And also this link:
http://www.tellinitlikeitis.net/2010/03/boomerang-kids-how-to-kick-grown...
Wow, I am really sorry your
Wow, I am really sorry your Christmas was ruined like that. I think you should kick your SS and his GF out and get your home and life back. Feel better soon!
Hugs,
Definitely do whatever you
Definitely do whatever you need to do to get your stress under control! You are obviously the only one looking out for you, so put yourself first.
An often misdiagnosed issue is gall bladder attacks. Take a spin around gallbladderattack.com and see some of the things you can do. (Even if you don't have a gall bladder, you can still have these attacks, which is because most gall bladder problems are really liver problems.) I have problems with stress and started having attacks during my split with exh. My gall bladder wasn't working at all and they wanted to take it out. I still have it and I'm perfectly fine now. With your frequent drinking AND stress, I'm betting your liver needs some TLC. Daily de-tox tea is great; you can find it at Whole Foods or wherever you would find herbal teas. Good luck!
He did let me know what his
He did let me know what his response to the “little” bastard was… basically told him that this IS a stressful situation and their lack of cooperation around the house is only adding to it.
Did it effect any immediate change? Well if you consider clearing the dining room table off from his crap, I guess. It’s a drop in the bucket.
I literally have come to HATE them… and they know it. I haven’t said it out loud, but they KNOW how I feel.
The GF was supposed to go to work yesterday morning. She called out sick with a “sore throat”
She stayed upstairs in the AM while my SS was at work and my DH was watching the grandbaby. She came down at noon and got the baby.
By 2:00 was dressed and ready to walk out the door, while my husband and I were still doing some post-holiday cleaning up.
I said, “oh are you going to work after all?”
She said “no, I’m going to meet up with some of my friends”
I said to her… “soooooo you weren’t well enough to go to work, but you’re okay to go out with friends? Maybe if you were feeling up to it, you could have helped us clean up around here… but hey… you go have fun with your friends. That’s what important, right?”
She turned red in the face and left anyway.
I don’t know what time she wound up coming home. Husband and I went out to get dinner and came back and went to bed at 10-ish, and she still wasn’t there.
The SS didn’t say a word about it, but I’m sure he wanted to know why she wasn’t home and she probably told them.
I decided that the only way that I’m going to relieve my own stress in this situation is to always speak exactly what is on my mind. I don’t care if it hurts their feelings… I’m beyond that. They both obviously could care less about me, and my well being, so I will in turn, not filter all the things that come to mind every time they come and go and eat and drink and whatever else it is that they do to piss me off, including their lack of help.
I will call and e-mail and text them on a regular basis with the chores that I expect them to do, and when they don’t do them, I’ll just keep bugging them about it. And if my husband has a problem with that, then he can pound salt.
I’m not looking for live-in servants. I’m only looking for them to do their share of the work around the house. I think it’s fair, considering they are living under our roof rent free, food included.
the short version: they have
the short version:
they have no place else to go and they don't have enough money to move into their own place
she went back to school, she's getting an associates degree in paralegal studies. Meantime, I guess that 'buys them time' with us. They have this idea that she can't work more than one day a week and go to school at the same time. (she only goes to school three NIGHTS a week)
he works full time...he makes okay money, but not enough to support him, her and a baby. My husband feels that this is an 'investment' in our grandchild's future...
I think it's bullshit and that they're just milking the free ride as long as they can.
I really wouldn't mind their living home so much if they only just helped out. I don't mean the occasional quick straighten up to appease me when I'm full blown blasting mad, I mean every week, pick a chore and do it.
Oh, I see SS and GF's
Oh, I see SS and GF's situation. It must be so hard for them. *insert sarcastic tone*
Repeat after me NOT.MY.PROBLEM
Let DH pick up after them. That mess would sit there until he smelled it.
I am soooo thankful I put my
I am soooo thankful I put my foot down and told my SS24 "no" when he asked if his prego gf could move in with us! The question didn't even reach dh's ears! I do not want another woman in my home, and I sure as shit don't want a freaking newborn! I've paid my dues with the baby thing. No thank you. If I had been stupid and said "yes", my dh & I would now be supporting 2 worthless losers plus their kid, instead of just 1 worthless loser. Is there any way you can get them the hell out of your house? They'll be the death of you. How old are these people?
SS is 26 and the g/f will be
SS is 26 and the g/f will be 21 in Jan. Her birthday is two days after my bio-daughter's 13th birthday.
last year, we had a party for my daughter, she wants one again this year...she's got some homework issues that I REALLY want her to work out, because I can't allow a party when she's skippnig so much home work.. and I REALLY want to have another party for my kid... I know it's terrible, I have this horrible attitude like "see... this is MY kid and SHE gets a party!"
ETA: love the baby... he's as good as gold. wouldn't mind keeping him and tossing those two out on their collective asses!
Be VERY VERY careful. I was
Be VERY VERY careful. I was diagnosed with celiac disease earlier this year and I do believe it was triggered by on-going stress and my body could not handle it anymore. I was in ER LAST Feb, heart pounding. My gut was all tore up. I have spent every day since then trying to get my health back. A good thing that has resulted from this is I had to stat focusing on myself and let other things go. I have to keep my stress level down or my gut catches fire again.
Stepson went on a rampage with hateful words about the time I ended up in the hospital. Husband told me to ignore all his emails which I did. We have not spoke since. SS told his dad off, told him that we would never see his daughter and to never contact him, we did him and his family wrong. My thoughts are the sitaution is unfortunate but wht I see is a child in a grown body having a childish tantrum like he would when he was 5, expecting his daddy to please him an this time it backfired in his face so he had to up the hate. Anyone to tells their parent that they will never see their grandchild has some real issues. If we had abused the child that's one thng but nothing even close to that ever existed. We simply were not meeting SS's demands.
Take care of yourself and let this stuff with the steps go, distance yourself, you have to think about your health. Just so you know too, there is a connection between Crohn's and Celiac. My docs thought at first my problems were due to a parathyroid gland that wasn't functioning properly but then when I went on a gluten-free diet alot of things changed. That's when I started improving, been gluten-free now for 8 months and was diagnosed with celiac in Sept.
I can completely relate. I’m
I can completely relate. I’m having severe abdominal pain and digestive problems due to stress. What’s strange is that this only started in the last year when all the problems with SD15 started.
The past 5 years have been incredibly stressful for me (I lost my job and my house was foreclosed on). But the stress of all of the financial problems was nothing compared to what I’ve been doing through with all the family-related issues with SD15.
It’s difficult (and expensive) to diagnose these types of problems. I’ve been seeing a gastroenterologist and so far have spent a considerable amount of money but had no relief or any real diagnosis. Next I need to have a colonoscopy to see if I have Microscopic Colitis (inflammation of the bowel). I’ve been putting it off since I absolutely dread having to do it.
Any burning in the stomach? I
Any burning in the stomach? I was on Nexium (2 daily) and shots of Pepto in between for 5 months, my stomach was a mess! I was not able to eat spice, dairy, foods with high acid content, caffeine, soda, and had to limit the amount of meats as far as portion size. It's been 8 months that I went off gluten entirely and slowly my system is healing. This is how serious stress will mess you up.
I read these posts over and over again from the stepmoms here and how horrific these situations are and how they are effecting their lives. My question is, how many of you think part of this all could be due to your husband's lack of involvement? Would you say your husband is Passive-Aggressive.....I'm asking anyone that reads this post?
:waving hand in the
:waving hand in the air:
oh..oh.. me..me
I think he WANTS me to be the bad guy! he doesn't want to be the one that's forcing them out the door, it's safer for him to just let me be the one that pushes every issue...
My DH used to be really into
My DH used to be really into passive-aggresive behavior. I started calling him on it and it seems better now. I just won't put up with it anymore.
Cpresto, hear ya loud and
Cpresto, hear ya loud and clear.....my husband could not be the bad guy. And Sandye21, I too call him out on it. I cannot believe the crap that has been dished my way. Husband has been better with the daughter we share and he did FINALLY stand up to his younger son but my word the kid was 27 and reaped years of damage before then. It's is hard to forgive, forget and move on.