At what age should SS7 take a bath/shower by himself?
Ok so I don't have bio kids, but I have been with men that had kids before I met DH and their 4/5yr olds could take care of their personal hygiene just fine. My SS7 still needs DH to turn the water on, soap up his hair and rinse it out, then DH practically sits on the toilet and watches him bathe because God forbid he walk out of the bathroom. If he says I'll be right back SS will holler 'Daaaa!'.. (speech issue/baby talk) DH will go back in and SS will say "where are you going?" OMG what does it matter I am thinking you are 7yrs old and can't talk a bath or shower on your own... then if DH does sneak out, SS will cut the water off and just stand there, looking at the towel as if it will float to him.. if DH still isnt in there he will stand there till he is 1/2 air dried and get out and stand in the bathroom and look at his clothes like they are going to magically jump onto him.. Dh will then go into the hallway and look in the bathroom see SS standing there and tell him to put his clothes on.. SS will put some item of clothing on sideways or backwards or whatever and DH will have to yell at him to put it on right!.. WTF!!! SO AT WHAT AGE SHOULD A KID BE ABLE TO TAKE A BATH ON THEIR OWN?????
Sounds just like SO's son, he
Sounds just like SO's son, he can hardly even dress himself let alone bathe himself and he is 8! My kids were doing it around 5 by themselves just fine.
SS7's mamaw on DH side will
SS7's mamaw on DH side will not even leave the bathroom to answer the phone cause she is afraid SS will drown... at least Dh will try to sneak out... SS also puts up a fight to brush his teeth and didn't even have a toothbrush when I came along... DH said SS hides toothbrushes or throws them away when no ones looking. His breath wreaks all the time and DH tells him it stinks, but it does phase him, apparently he likes being the stinky kid. I tell DH all the time he needs to take him to the dentist and maybe the dentist can scare him into brushing his teeth and taking better care of them... but that has yet to happen!
A normal kid should be able
A normal kid should be able to bathe at 5/6, but should not be left alone in baths for extended periods of time. My kids loved baths and would stay in there forever. There were times that they actually fell asleep in the tub, most recently the day we moved and my 10 yr old was so exhausted he fell asleep in the tub and had locked the door. That's scary.
That said, "bathing" is subjective. You can't just put a child in there and expect them to know what to do. They have to be taught how to wash and rinse because while it seems like common sense, some kids don't get it. It's especially difficult for kids who transition from bathing to showering. When you are sitting in water, your butt is going to get pretty clean just sitting there. But not so in showers. It's common for kids who have just started showering to not clean their butts well.
Regarding the stinky breath, if a 7 yr old has stinky breath, there are cavities. Probably MANY. If bm hasn't taken him to the dentist and his dad hasn't...this is neglect. He needs to go to the dentist!
My BD4's breath stinks a lot.
My BD4's breath stinks a lot. We brush at least once if not twice a day. Just took her to the dentist and no cavities. I think some kids just have stinky breath.
Barring a physical
Barring a physical ailment/issue....he's capable but crippled by a hover father. My son, who receives occupational therapy and once needed physical therapy, could shower alone by 5/6. He still needed help with getting it started until he was 8...but again, other issues involved. Even though we knew he had these issues...we kept pushing him to try it...until he was able to do it.
It seems a bit old, but if
It seems a bit old, but if nobody has ever shown him how to be independent and do it himself...yeah...I can see it...I don't think it's right, but it happens...
Does he get this from both of his parents, or just your DH? Does his mother make him shower by himself or does she sit in there with him, too?
My SD showers by herself, but there are some other things that she doesn't do by herself that she could, and though DS is trying to make her independent, her mother doesn't do the same so it's harder for stuff to "stick"...
we asked him one day if his
we asked him one day if his mom sat with him he said she did. he doesn't even know how to turn the water on... I think most of it is a put on cause DH has tried to make him do it on his own but SS plays dumb. I agree they are enabling him into not becoming independent. when I first met DH his excuse for everything, the attitude, grades at school, disrespect to me, acting out, inability to do anything on his own was that "he (SS) has been through a lot for a 5 year old with the divorce and all"... HELLO! A TON of kids have went through divorce, some at a much younger age and they don't act like that!!!... I have finally made him realize that the divorce is not solely to blame here... I will share a PROUD moment (about DH)... We were at his moms (SS's grandmother that sits in the bathroom) and we were discussing SS's poor grades, hygeine, attitude, and she replies well I feel sorry for him and I can see why he is having a hard time, he has went through a lot with the divorce... DH actually speaks up and says, "Mom! half the kids in his class are from divorced parents and they don't do this or that!" HAHAHAHA YES!!! I have finally rubbed off on him!!!! She was shocked!.. well come on DH and BM have been divorced for 3-4 years now.. let's stop blaming the divorce and focus on the real blame!!
Yeah, he needs to be taught
Yeah, he needs to be taught how to do it!! I agree that it is not the kids fault, but the dad's. He doesn't even know how to turn the water on? That would surprise me EXCEPT I have an 8 year old SS who is the same way. Once the water is on, he is usually fine though. And seriously, by age 7 or 8, they should be able to figure out how to turn on water by themselves. I would say by age 6 (7 at the latest), unless there is some type of developmental delay, a child should be able to handle bathing/showering themselves.
4/5 sounds a little young to me, but I'm sure some 5 year olds would be capable of it.