You are here

Are There "POSERS" On These Boards?

Not-the-mom's picture

Submitted by Not-the-mom on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 9:33am

Forums: 
General Discussion

I don't usually post here in this forum - I usually post on another forum, but I have noticed a pattern with one particular poster that has me concerned.

I hope I am totally wrong about this, but I thought I would ask anyway.

Please let me explain.....

When my first husband died, I joined an online widow support forum. It was very helpful, and helped me make it through those years.

One thing that would happen on the widow support forum was that for some reason people would "pretend" to be widows or widowers. It appeared they wanted sympathy from others - even though they weren't really a widow or widower. After a time, it would be come obvious they were not for real, and were blocked.

Another situation that would happen was when people who just wanted to cause trouble would create an ID, and then begin posting things that were very inappropriate! It would cause a lot of chaos on the forums, and begin fights. It was as though this person liked to cause trouble and sit back and watch the fur fly.

I have a concern that there is one person like this on these boards.

Does anyone know if this has happened before, and how to alert the "powers-that-be" that you have a concern?

Thanks for your input.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 9:37am

Yes it has happened before here and still does. Can't prove it, but I am sure they are not Stepmoms by their answers. Curiously what Widow site did that happen on? My DH died when I was 34 and I belonged to YWBB.org and I don't remember anyone doing that...

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 9:40am

There have always been trolling psycho BMs on this site posing as SMs. They want to see if anyone may be talking about their (known) misbehaving children. Or their lackluster "parenting."

newmom01's picture

Submitted by newmom01 on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 9:59am

Yep I said that a while back, or something similar i asked everyone to look at the whos online numbers, and most of the time there are more guests than users! But someone said that it could be members but just not signed in! So who knows??

stepfamilyfriend's picture

Submitted by stepfamilyfriend on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 9:59am

There probably are, as in any forum. But I think that there is also an assumption that some of us that sometimes go against the grain, must either be BMs in disguise, or must not have known any difficulty.
I concede that my situation has been easier than most because our bm is nice and my DH has clear boundaries and integrity. But I have also had a very difficult SD. I try to give advice that may help; before it's all too late.

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 10:11am

Yeah, for instance the people who want support but keep putting obstacles in the way of really good suggestions from people, or those who just delete posts that do not apply to their situations, which I think is petty. What, they want ONLY one type of person to advise them? However, I agree some of the BM's might very well troll the site.
Some of my issues could be spotted by someone who knows the issues too, I understand it's a public forum. Only DH knows I come here though, I told him it's this or I vent TO HIM! LOL
I'm pretty lucky in that the gargantuan freak is just a blot on the horizon now, kids are of age and can pursue/not pursue a relationship with her in their own right.
To be honest I was one of the people who just read posts initially, I found solace in that people were going through the same stuff and that I was NOT going out of my mind...I did wonder for a while!
It's only slander if it's NOT TRUE, right? If the cap fits anyone who reads my posts then they know it's true, why get indignant about it if this does not pertain to you?
I try to keep things general, maintain anonymity, but there's always going to be someone out there who's done the same stupid stuff as BM and might even be thinking I am THEIR kids' SM...hehehehehe that would be funny!

shielded2009's picture

Submitted by shielded2009 on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 10:13am

Only because I'm nosy...I know you wont "out" the person, but what types of stuff does she/he say that makes you suspicious?

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 11:22am

I know you have said you are going to let it go, but I would always advise complaining to the admin about any posts you feel are aggressive or in any way attacking you personally. I did so, and the person involved has since disappeared from the forum. Just click on the "contact us" button on the left hand menu.

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 11:27am

I've never understood trolls. I mean, get a life! Where do they get the time to mess up other peoples mojo? I barely have time to comment in the few online forums I'm in! :?

stepfamilyfriend's picture

Submitted by stepfamilyfriend on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 11:28am

What happened to OyVeh? I have not been very active lately with all that has been going on....

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 11:30am

You bet there are fakes on this board, but that's the nature of the internet. What I think is bizarro is when the same person comes back again and again and again under a new screen name after having their account deactivated by Admin.

aggravated1's picture

Submitted by aggravated1 on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 11:32am

Right-what weirdo puts that kind of time and effort in to keep coming back and causing trouble? And the ones that get booted and don't even bother to change their stories....

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Mon, 10/31/2011 - 11:34am

But you know, after the last (4th) time, it just got funnier than hell. It's the little things that amuse me.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Sun, 05/10/2020 - 10:08am

Yes and even worse some stepchildren home during the Summer usually find this forum and post far fetched tales. 

Sandybeaches's picture

Submitted by Sandybeaches on Mon, 05/11/2020 - 11:58am

If there is something that has upset you or worried you, you can always delete comments to posts you started and in other situations flag or report if it is a real concern.

 

DPW's picture

Submitted by DPW on Tue, 05/12/2020 - 9:12am

I've seen a lot on ST including posers, trolls, money hungry liars who scam others for money, etc... We teach our children to be internet smart but we sometimes forget it ourselves. Contact a moderator if you are concerned. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 05/14/2020 - 1:33am

There are some participants who are not SParents.  Though no one specifically stands out to me as a poser.

I focus on the OPs message and comment on  that then participate in conversations that spark my interest.  If someone in particular irritates me, I tend to ignore them though I will comment on anything that peaks  my interest.

I was once told to "take all things needed" which I have used liberally in my life in the intervening 40 years since I was given that guidance though I do apply a follow on sentence of "and ignore what I don't need."  Often I find that I get a lot out of things that I initially find irritating.  So, I try to take as much in as I can and learn.

My GM used to say "If you can't listen and learn you will have to feel."  That was probably the best advice I have ever received.