Let me start by pointing a finger at myself. I am the bio-dad of four daughters. My oldest passed away at the age of 14 in 03. Life changed dramatically at that point. My already difficult marriage got even worse. I went emotionally absent for a year. My other daughters at the time of their sisters death were 12, 10 and 4. I've been struggling with depression ever since. I have taken the attitude, that my daughters have been through so much, the loss of their older sister and the divorce of their parents. I admittedly am soft on them. I do everything to protect them and try to do things that make them happy. I have been making the mistake of not requiring anything of them. If they want to go to a friends house, and their room is a mess.. I just let them go. If they leave dirty dishes out... I put them away. I have not incorporated any structure, I;m just a "fun dad." Despite this lack of discipline, I think they are good girls, generally respectful and pretty well adjusted considering all they have been through. I see the error in my discipline void ways, and so does my girlfriend. I have been with her since 2008. I met her soon after my wife left me to be with the man that she was having an affair with. I also gave my x a very good deal, which has left me struggling financially. I thought i was being a good guy to take care of her, even though she left me. I'm a sucker! My girlfriend (who I will call stepmom) bought a house so that the girls would have a nice place to live and be close to their bio-mom. The girls have not been to fond of bio-mom since the divorce. They figured out on their own that their mom had an affair. They really liked my girlfriend when they met her. I was so nervous about that, but they hit it off right away. Over the past 3 years things have slowly soured until just recently our step family has imploded. My girls are now 13, 19 and 21. 13 stays with us 50% of time. 19 is taking a semester off college and is now with us. 21 is away at college, but stays with us when in town. My girlfriend continually asks my girls to do basic household chores, they smile and say they will, but they don't. She has repeatedly asked me to support her with this. I say I will, but I don't. I don't take it seriously, I sometimes feel like she is being to strict with them. The fact is, I am not supporting her, and she has grown increasingly frustrated by the situation. She calls the girls disrespectful, she posts on another website and basically describes them as out of control spoiled brats, entitled and even evil children. Yes they are disrespectful when they don't do the simple things they are asked to do. Turn off lights, pick up after yourself, close the exterior door, lock the door, flush the toilet, etc... I have really let her down by not backing her up. I take full responsibility for this and am trying to change. My girlfriend sent my 21 year old to her moms house for disobeying her. My 21 year old felt this was such a harsh penalty. She's a pretty easy going teen... but also has some lazy habits that drive my girlfriend crazy. Basically my girlfriend hit her wits end and said enough is enough. I deactivated my 21 year olds phone because of her disrespect to her stepmom. I was so worried after I did this that my daughter would never speak with me again. Seriously! Why am I such a whimp? I am getting professional help for this among other things. Last week my girlfriend took my 13 year olds phone away from her for yet again leaving the outside door open. This did not go well. My daughter hurled awful profanities at her stepmom and claimed that her stepmom had tackled her, pulled her hair and called her names. My daughter called her bio-mom and of course bio-mom believed everything my daughter told her about the "evil stepmom". I wasn't here when this all happened so i asked a lot of questions to my girlfriend. She took offense thinking I didn't believe her. i was just trying to piece together what happened based on my daughters version and my girlfriends version (which I am quite confident is the true version) This past week bio-mom texted stepmom asking to return phone, knowing that the phone was being held from my 13 for discipline purposes. My girlfriend returned the text and texted more stuff, which bio-mom now claims is harassment. Stepmom also responded to my 19 year olds text request to look for some mail she was expecting to come to the house. (stepmom had reached out to 19 earlier with a phone call... 19 never responded to it, but was quick to text when she wanted something. This angered my girlfriend) So stepmom began texting things to 19 that weren't so friendly and messages that were derogatory towards 19s bio-mom) Now I am in the middle of all this. Bio-mom bought girls new i-phones and will not allow them to see my girlfriend. This totally undermined our discipline for the girls disrespect to their stepmom. I have reached out to my girls. My girlfriend is angry because she thinks I am siding with my girls. My girls are upset because they think I am siding with my girlfriend... and bio-mom is feeding the fire. She is loving this. So immature and typical of her. That's my drama in a nutshell. There is a whole lot more to this story, but I will save that for another time. Suffice it to say that my girlfriend (stepmom) has endured more disrespect from me that no one should ever have to. She is a saint, and I have a ton of work to do or I may lose her, if I haven't already.