My BIoSon literally kicked SS a@@
My bio son 14 had a friend over this weekend. Ss12 came over last night. I do not feel it is my bio job to entertain ss so I allow my son to have his friends over, especially after ss has been here over a month. He went back home last Sun after a month and it was the EOW this weekend.
Anyway, ss has a bad habit of calling bs a n@@@@@ when he gets annoyed or doesn't get his way. So at 4 am ss pounds on bs room door ( ss had been up all night on computer) my son and his friend wake up and open the door. SS starts annoying them and want to show them something in the loft. BS and friend get up and go in the loft and ss runs in bs room and locks them out!!
Keep in mind, I'm sleeping through all this.
Ss finally let's BS and friend in the room but just starts aggravating them. My son gets him out of his room and locks him out and tries to go back to sleep. SS tells BS he is erasing songs on his iPod etc...
Finally BS gets fed up and says " seriously, your pissing me off....I'm sick of your craziness."
To which SS replies " Fu u n@@@@@, ". And then spits in my BS face.
My son says " if you ever spit in face again and call me that I'm going to beat your a@@"
SS says " I'm not afraid of you n@@@@" and spits in my sons face again.
My son beat his a@@!!! I mean badly.....my husband heard his son screaming "help" and ran in the room.
My husband got in my sons face and was all upset because his son " is 2 year s younger and my son should have been more adult and realized that"
WTF???? This kid has called my son that name several times and DHjust says " don't use that word" that's it!!! He has never been disciplined or punished for it. He also has a bad habit of spitting at people albeit not in their face usually.
I am not upset with my son at all!!! I bet SS will never do that again and really I blame DH for SS getting a@@ beat up.
I know I sound heartless but I'm glad SS received some " rough justice"
My son broke two brackets on his braces and his lips is cut open along with bruises on his face and arm.
Oh well, don't try to use the 2 year difference in the ages.....if your " old" enough to spit in someone's face ( 2 times) and use those racial slurs , your old enough to get an ass whipping.
Now SS wants to go home and not come back!!!!! Oh well.
I know some people will
I know some people will disagree with what I'm about to say, but so be it....your SS had it coming-your BS, imho, acted with restraint the first time (and it sounds like many other times) he was called a totally unacceptable racial slur-not to mention being spit on! Maybe your DH will wake up after this incident and parent his ignorant child. I hope your BS and DH are able to continue to get along after this altercation....
I know some people will
I know some people will disagree with what I'm about to say, but so be it....your SS had it coming-your BS, imho, acted with restraint the first time (and it sounds like many other times) he was called a totally unacceptable racial slur-not to mention being spit on! Maybe your DH will wake up after this incident and parent his ignorant child. I hope your BS and DH are able to continue to get along after this altercation....
I agree that your ss had it
I agree that your ss had it coming. If he did this to someone out in public he'd get his ass beat as well. It's reality. It's also what happens when parents dont teach their kids proper ways to act. I agree that your dh is at fault here-he allows his kid to be a prejudiced asshole and then says YOUR son should have known better?
I dont promote violence at all but I feel like in this case it was justified.
I think your SS had it coming
I think your SS had it coming at that point. I think now both boys should be told they were wrong but have no punishement because they dolled it out themselves, now they both need to go there corners and end it. BUt I think your son acted with restraint and the SS should have know when to draw the line.
I agree...neither boy is
I agree...neither boy is being punished because justice was served, so to speak.
SS has not said a word to me or my son since 6 am which is just perfect for me. On the other hand I can tell DH is ticked at me and BS.
BTW , DH still thinks my son should not have touched his. I asked him, " what should he have done?"
DH " he should have told us what SS was saying?"
Me " ummmmm, he has told us.....several times. You never do anything except say don't do it again" " yet ss keeps doing it."
DH " well that's no excuse"
Me " BS has ever right to not be abused or spit on, doesn't he?"
Dh " just drop it."
LOL.....hmmmm, hard to defend your position DH!!!
I agree with the others in
I agree with the others in that sometimes people have to learn things the hard way. However, I just hope that this doesn't come back to bite you in the behind, and by that I mean I hope BM doesn't file criminal charges against your son (or you).
Have you and DH ever considered family counseling (including SS)?
Myself and my BS go to
Myself and my BS go to therapy every 2 weeks....not for anything particular , life stuff....it is 100 perfect free as we met are deductible with DHs cancer, so there isn't even a co pay!!
DH thinks there is nothing wrong with him or SS.
I believe there are two kinds of people in the world. Those that are sick and those that are trying to get well.
We all have issues but we should grow and learn new ways to deal with life.
I guess my son and myself are the problem.
BM can do whatever she wants....I'm hoping SS doesn't come back....he's so toxic.
I wasn't in any way trying to
I wasn't in any way trying to insinuate that you and HS are the problem. I apologize profusely if my post came across that way.
Oh no Anon, I didn't think
Oh no Anon, I didn't think you were blaming me and BS.....my son is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and drives me crazy at times. However, he does know and use basic social skills .
I guess that's the difference, when my BS does something I don't let him get away with it. It doesn't escalate because I address it immediately. DH let's his son just do whatever and when someone reacts to his poor choices it is " poor SS, he is just misunderstood"
DH may not like it, and that
DH may not like it, and that his right and I can't blame him either BUT, I think SS learned something the hard way here and better he learn it directly from another boy, than his dad or some other third party. Had punishments come to him from you guys, he may still try and do that sneakily. Now hopefully he learned not to mess with him.
I don't think your DH
I don't think your DH realizes the consequences of SS's behavior in the real world. What he did would be seen as a hate crime, and DH will not be able to just say "well, the other guy should have been more adult" and go on about his day.
I think you need to tell your
I think you need to tell your DH that he is lucky his 12 yr old son didn't say that to someone in the street because he is likely to have been shot and killed. A split lip and learning not to spit in peoples face for behaving like a prick is a minor setback compared with getting beaten up and having brain damage or IDing his body in a morgue because kids have been killed for less than that by strangers.
Hell, your BS needs medal. He probably saved the dipshits life.
Also, my DH turned the other
Also, my DH turned the other cheek to a bully in school for 6 months. He was hounded on the bus and in school (we are talking the late 60s). One day this kid pushed him too far and he pounded him on the bus. The kid got a broken nose and lost a couple of teeth. DH got a broken hand.
The school tried to expell DH for fighting and injuring another child and basically having the first punch. DHs ColonelDad came down to the school and told the principal that his son had been hounded for months and despite DH reporting it over and over again, nothing was done. So if the school wants to take this further then he would see them in court.
It didn't go further and the bully 'left' the school. No one messed with DH again.
Anyway, since when was '14' an adult?
Hopefully the bm doesnt try
Hopefully the bm doesnt try to file charges, but if she did I'd file them right back. Spitting on someone is also considered assault
Oh I could care less about
Oh I could care less about her filing charges.....he called my son a racial slur and spit in his face TWICE. I gotta tell you, I don't know many human beings at all that wouldn't pound someone for that combination, including a judge.