I've Had Enough

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I've had enough! So today I was informed that my fdh possibly will be going out of town next week thursday-Monday well I had plans that entire weekend plans that have been months in the making well I told him like someone on here told me sorry I can't watch my ss I have plans well he called his ex and asked hey can you watch THERE son she said no she had plans well now he's trying to make me feel bad I'm still mad we have been having problems and I asked if we could go away together now he's going wh a family member to go see his brother ummm am I not important not to mention he's gone to see his brother already on my Birthday a few months back might I add! Well I asked advice from a couple of friends and they said that I should watch the ss cause he's my fdh child and that I shouldn't get mad cause his ex wife is the mother of the child and that he comes with baggage and I need to accept it. I think I've gone above and beyond what normal people would have done. Am I wrong please some tell me am I doing the rite thing! I've had enough I'm tired of always giving in he never watches my children!

NO, don't watch him. Control

NO, don't watch him. Control that guilt, you are letting him make you feel that way. He needs to feel the consequences. He wants things to be everyone else's fault and problem but his.

You have plans. Those friends' are people who don't deal with step situations and they don't understand. Stand your ground or you will be continually taken advantage of and it will get worse.

You are doing the right thing!!!!!

He is showing you just how NOT important you are to him. He's is doing it so clearly.

I would not. If he has to be

I would not. If he has to be gone on his weekend with his kid, he needs to find alternative care for the kid and not just assume or insist that you do it. It's really not BM's problem either. If it's her weekend off so she had every right to make plans. FDH should call his mommy or something. Hmmm Maybe he could take his kid WITH HIM!

Ok...so....this is not your

Ok...so....this is not your HUSBAND, right? He's your FDH. This is not your child. The child's MOTHER is too busy for him. The father is too busy for him. From the perspective of someone who is probably old enough to be your mother and then some, it appears to me that you are a live-in babysitter, with benefits. Might want to seriously think this one through BEFORE you marry this man!

GET OUT WHY YOU CAN I was in

GET OUT WHY YOU CAN

I was in that situation years ago and I was just the babysitter with benifits. I came home from class early one day and he was sleeping with the mother.. His little weekend work trips where with her.. He may not be cheating on you but you are being used.

Do not watch the child. If

Do not watch the child.

If FDH goes out of town, he will not be picking up SS. BM will eventually figure it out, and have to arrange care for their son. It's not your responsibility, obligation, or anything else.

I'm thinking that FDH's will decide to stay home when he sees you are not going to babysit.

Why is it the mom's

Why is it the mom's responsibility to parent during the father's parenting time??? It is not her responsibility to find coverage when HE is supposed to be taking care of HIS child.

Tell him to take his kid with

Tell him to take his kid with him. You are not responsible.

Yeah, I went back and read

Yeah, I went back and read your blog about the BM and stuff too.

Your SO is going to use guilt and threats and everything else to get his way. Don't give in. He's not used to this because you have let him treat you this way. Now he has to unlearn treating you this way and you are going to be the one to teach it.

Do not watch the kid. You

Do not watch the kid. You have your life and that kid should not control it. He'll either take the kid with him or BM will have to change her plans. Not your kid, not your problem.

NO, you are NOT wrong. It is

NO, you are NOT wrong. It is HIS son. If he wants to see him, he can take him with him...if not, it is NOT your responsiblity. This is BS...him trying to make you feel guilty...no way...I would leave before he does and leave the kid there with him...too bad...geez

PS - speaking from experience...my DH ONCE wanted to go to his friend's house while I stayed home with his daughter...he just EXPECTED me to do it...he told me "my other ex did it"...and I said "then go find her to do it again so WE can go out! or take her with you..." He was ticked off...but I did NOT give in...he ended up NOT going to his buddy's house...I could not care less. It is NOT your responsiblity. It is MOM AND DAD's responsibility...and you are neither...my DH at least got the hint...although he complained about it, he never again expected me or asked me to do it...and I have never regreted it...

DO NOT change your plans and

DO NOT change your plans and do not take on the responsibility that the parents themselves should be shouldering.

I would be absolutely

I would be absolutely OUTRAGED if my husband arranged to go away on the weekend we had my SDs and left them with me! It just wouldn't happen, anyway - over my dead body, I would be inclined to say. What's the matter with your friends - why are they giving you such rubbish advice??

Presumably your fdh knew you had been making plans for months for this weekend - what is he thinking of pulling this stunt on you? I would be seriously re-thinking the whole relationship at this point, I'm afraid. He is just blatantly taking you for granted.

Why can't he take his son

Why can't he take his son with him to visit his brother? If he can't do that, he can either stay home or, novel idea, HIRE A SITTER.

Best words of advice ever

Best words of advice ever given to me by a friend--- Don't start what you can not continue to keep on doing. and When someone is bold enough to start DICTATING to you what you will be doing for them rather then ASKING,then they have over stepped boundries.

Youare not wrong! You planned

Youare not wrong! You planned this for months! Even if it were just weeks....FDH problem! And it will get worse if you bow down this time! Good luck!

Any update?

Sorry guys I've been busy so

Sorry guys I've been busy so I sat down my fdh and told him everything I have been feeling and the advice given on here. I told him there is absolutely NO room for 3 people in our relationship and I will not live my life this way and he should have no contact with his EX Wife unless its about there son not when they need to go to court or if I'm going to be at practice or games and if he can't do that maybe they should get back together cause it seemed like her feelings are more important then mine! He assured me that's not how he feels and told her to back of and she needed to get over all her issues and that they have nothing to talk about unless its about there kid. Well he arranged for his family who still talk to his EX to watch his son but hey IDC cause I don't have to. Also the BM rarely has there child we have him Fri-Mon and on Wed she has to get him twice a month on Sundays and she forever is asking if we can keep him till mon so that's why he asked her plus she had asked a while back if she could have him some weekends so he thought he would ask but like always she has plans she won't leave her partying ways to be a mom! She forever complains about how there son wakes up way to early and she hates getting up before 12 ummmm get used to it that's what happens when your a Mom but again were talking about her sorry I can't stand this woman!