Ok I don't want to bore you with a lengthy situation, but I had to add incidents. Bullet points will get you to the point, sorry so long.

1. DH TELLS me my SD is moving in away from her abusive BM in Chi.
2. DH plans to tour (musician) while SD is with me w/o asking me "told me it is what I am supposed to do as a SM"
3. Did not tour as expected, but SD moves in from Chicago to TX
4. Moved to a 2 bedroom apt instead of house in order for SD to go best public school in the city
5. Grades bad, BM NEVER checks on her while we are up at the counselors office making arrangements
6. DH goes out of town, SD lies to BM and BGM that I cursed her and ran away to her friends house (a boy) of course. (I was helping her study for a final and let her go to the computer room at the apt. to do her work, caught her on FB and told her to get upstairs to study)
Went to the store, came home and she was gone and her BM called me pissed because my SD called her with lies)
7. SD and DH working at an AIDS hospice to instill compassion and work ethic. After 2mos. SD TOOK a of 75.00 money order from a patient and a cell phone during their X-mas party at the hospice. Was not invited back to volunteer.
8. Gets caught stealing at Target goes to jail on Valentines day. She gave me a bag when she was getting handcuffed that had merch from Macy's.
9. When she got out of jail the next day, I took her ass to Macy's (not knowing what I was going to do) and made her give the merch back to the loss prevention office. Then took her to find a job.
10.While all this is going on, me and hubby are arguing like cats and dogs. He is telling me he is doing all this for the kids. He has 3 19SD,18SD, 17SS. The other two just moved to NJ with their BM and SD.
11. We were closing on our house and wanted to surprise my BS9 and SD19.
12. During her finals, her dad asked her not to have any friends over and she needed to study. Friends came over, he comes hm for lunch & scolds her, by the time we get hm from wk. she has packed her shit and left. This happened in May.
13. Hadn't heard from her, (3wks), moved to our new hm. (she doesn't know where we've moved).
14. July, my Hubby gets a call from a guy on his cell asking for ME by my whole 1st name. (BTW,nobody that knows me calls me by my whole 1st name)..
15. DH gets upset tells guy to call me if he is so interested.
16. Guy calls me all F*^&^*^%ing night and I am about to call the police, meanwhile my Hubby is looking at me like I know this guy.
I asked the guy before calling the police where he got my name from and he told me an alias girl name. At that moment I got on FB and see that it is my SD who gave this guy her dad's cell #!!!!!
17. I left her a mess. saying "I knew it was you behind this"...she replied..."lol"!!
18. I went on a rampage because my DH didn't say a F*&*&ing word!!We find out she back in Chicago through her BGM.
19. As I went on my rampage I told my DH that her BM is a CRAZY Bitch because she didn't inform him that my SD was @ hm in Chi. while we were worried for 3 months. Because I called my SD's BM a crazy bitch, my DH told me it was over.
20. It was the Saturday going into our 2 week family vacation and I moved me and my BS9 out the next day after the arguement with all my shit to my parents hm. My son and I go on a week vacay alone.
21. After 3 wks I move back to our new hm!! Me and DH make a promise not to let the kids come in between us.
22. We don't hear from SD until 8 mos.later because she is interested in going to college after dropping out of HS and getting her GED. (Mind you, I work at a major University and was introducing her to all the process when she was living with us)
23. Told her to take the SAT and make a high score. (Get in like everyone else), no special treatment and not allowing her to use me.
24. Seldom conversation trying to patch things up with her dad and me.
25. Wanna hear the kicker? Today (April) get a call from her telling her dad she is now in town living with her BFF. She lied and said her BM and BGM knew she was here.She manipulated her BGM for money and that is how she got here.
26. My DH got the address from her and went over there and talked on the PHONE...I asked him, why didn't you go grab her and talk to her face to face? On the PHONE in the parking lot? What?
27. KICKER...my DH said that if I didn't step it up and be a MOM to my SD like he is to my BS9, that lives with us, that we were OVER!!!!

This ultimatum is ENOUGH!! All I know is that SHE is NOT living here! He is showing me the door if I don't comply to SAVING his reclusive daughter!!

What the hell should I do? It is 4am in the morning and I gotta go to work in a couple hrs. PISSED!