my neice was like that, could pay attention (to a degree) to movies and video games but she still couldn't sit for more than 20 minutes or so.

she was 7 before tested for add and does have it, she was failing HARD to in school, and was almost held back in kindergarten she's on redline now and it's a COMPLETE 360

who has custody? can you talk to bm if dh is not cp?

I too have been down this road.It's been 6 yrs now and have yet to give up.although I would be lying if I said I am not ready to EVERYDAY! With the schools though,Ya-always making it clear U R STEP mom is certainly a good idea ANYONE involved in a child's education and daily life needs to be is important AND should always support a good education! that's great if you do.eventually you will be rewarded for your efforts. Still it makes no sense how bio's expect so little for THEIR OWN IGNORANT reasons like its easier for them or they do not wanna be the "bad guys" by enforcing ANYTHING!
I taught my youngest ss to read by 1st grade and yes,it was a struggle. I also totally understand the "game" thing I ended up taking away that luxury to play perfection on video games UNTIL there was improvement on school work! It's tough but worth it. He ended up with average passing grades struggles now though due to a genetic brain disease BUT STILL HE IS IMPROVING!We/I just refuse to give up! IT'S A SHAME REALLY "STEPS" ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO HELP RAISE CLEANUP AFTER COOK AND DEAL WITH SKIDS *BUT* ALLBE DAMMNED IF WE HAVE A SAY WITH CONCERNS SUCH AS YOURS! ridiculous-Good luck

My exFSD failed Kindergarten last year. I told my exSO that she needed to be tested for ADD/ADHD and if it wasn't that then it is obvious something else because this little girl is now 7 and is still doing bad in Kindergarten. exSO finally got my point but BM won't have her tested and is just "stupid" when it comes to the situation. She thinks she is just "slow." Well maybe she is delayed but wouldn't you think you would want to find out the stem of the problem? So this little girl is struggling and I hate the thought of her having to go to 1st grade. She already has horrible self esteem because the older girls (her sisters) are constantly calling her "stupid" "annoying" "retarded" "moron" and etc. When I lived there the teacher even commented on how well her homework was looking and now it's gone back down hill.

Do what you can to help him learn to stay focused:

For spelling, DD still has trouble with spelling words, and just because she can spell them she doesn't retain them.
We set the spelling words to a cheer chant for 3-4 years. (she is now in the 5th grade and we don't have to do this anymore). Sing song them put them to a tune.

With ODD who was not diagnosed but had ADD tendencies in the past- I sat with her and would make out my bills, or read my mail while she was doing her homework, usually the dining room. When she would start wondering, I would simply say, DD you have to stay focused on this. Or are you stuck with something do you need help.

DH didn't want YDD tested, he hated to admit that she had a problem and felt like he failed her and was a failure. He kept her stuggles only to himself, and never talked to other people, which I found it beneficial since a) people have experiences that might have helped and b) he didn't set ydd up to fail to family members when they asked her to read something and she couldn't. She also showed signs of dyslexia.

Don't assume ADD, there is a variety of problems that either will go hand in hand with ADD or that will be masked by ADD.

Ya, it's tough whenever a "health" condition MAY be the issue. My ss10 started having trouble w/academics and concentration early 2009 by summer he was diagnosed w/a terminal genetic brain disease "Leukodystrophy".He lives w/us during the wk and visits his bm on wknds. WE decided to take him out of public school because we wanted to spend all the time we could with him(especially his sibs one is 3 and not in school) and did not want him to be bullied or made fun of by kids at school(due to him stuttering and drouling at times. This was for 10 mos. We DID however do our own "home school" Brain exercises I called it cause ss wanted NOTHING to do w/anything if it involved "work". We also kept "rules" and did not allow ss to "get whatever he wanted because he was sick,Did not allow him to "act out" he was retaught to behaive the same as others or "just as good" (the symptoms he was showing DID NOT match any of the LD's we all researched.
Then, turns out after several areas of improvements there was a misdiagnosis! ss had gotten an infection that was not "caught" quick enough AND it spread to his brain. He is ok now, has gotten better marks in school w/the exception of BEHAVIORS! So, I have also been pressing for the ADD/ADHD testing. Just hesitant because of the 1st misdiagnosis that has yet to be verified.
It's a rough area w/our situation here.Just don't give up w/ur intuition and your concerns ya wouldn't have them,if they didn't mean something!

I've read all the above and the best suggestion was to create a way Dad can be shown how his kid is doing compared to others in the same classroom.

Until you get him on board nothing will happen and plain ol nagging won't do it. How do you fail first grade anyway unless something has gone wrong?

The Western world is going to the dumps unless we figure out how to teach parents to get their kids away from these electronic devices. The kid can pay attention to them because its a instant attention grabber. A new window every 1/10 of a second. In school its a new "window" every 10 or 15 minutes.

We survived this far because our new window in the jungle was that lion over there twitched - today that's working against these kids.