I had my BS who is now 14months old, 2 weeks after I turned 39... so you have PLENTY of time!

I know when I gave up "trying" (read obessessing) so hard to get pregnant, it just happened. and I have heard this from alot of people.

I feel this way too sometimes and I am only 25. My BF and I have a 16 year age difference and he wants a child with me. His family of course is against it because he is 40 and to them that is too old. But I do know after 3 years working in a nursing home I have seen some residents with many children complain and cry because their own child had not been there to visit them. I have also seen some great friendships formed between these residents that lasts a lifetime.

I'm sorry about your troubles. My mother struggled for 8 years with fertility treatments to attempt child bearing and was heart broken every time. My parents then decided that they would adopt and decided to do the very selfless thing of adopting a special needs child to rescue them from abuse and neglect. That child was me, and the story gets better. I was living in foster care with my 3 brothers at the age of 7 after living for years with an abusive and drug addicted birth mother that was only 21 with 4 children. After my parents came to the foster home to meet me they decided that they could never make me leave my brothers and decided to adopt all four of us at once. It was crazy and amazing all at the same time. Now they have four children who are eternally grateful for the second chance at life that they gave us! I'm not saying you should go out and adopt 4 kids, but consider that you could find a child that needs love and make their lives a better place. Giving birth to a child is an amazing experience from what I hear, but I will say that it also feels very special to know that my parents chose me. My parents are the only ones I have ever had, before them were just a sperm and egg donor.

Another thought is that some people live joyous lives without children. My aunt and uncle could not conceive but they were able to spend their lives traveling the world and living life to the fullest. They have had so many amazing trips and experiences that they may not have been able to have with children. My mom and aunt lost their parents at a young age, and they have stepped into that role gracefully. Their nieces and great nieces and nephews make them very happy, and are there to take care of them now as your DH's mother has with her children.

Good luck with everything!

I feel this way too. Especially right now. My SO is 16 years older than me and I imagine myself in the nursing home sitting all alone and people saying, "Who is that nice old lady over there?" And the others say, "I don't know because she has no family." It is a nightmare to me!! I am about to be 31 this summer and I feel my biological clock is ticking way out of control. My SO told me he would have kids with me or at least one because I have wanted children my whole life. He has retracted it before when things with his own adult children were nuts and he panicked a little. Now we're in a weird place where we are so in love and want to spend the rest of our lives together but I am afraid I will never be able to have a baby. It's a terrible feeling. However, he knows how much I want/need a baby of my own and he would do anything for me. He sees babies and we talk about our "pretend baby" and I know he is a tremendous father. It makes me want it more because of that but I do get scared that someday he will be like nah I changed my mind. I have so much anxiety over things and this could be another one of those things that I make up in my head out of fear. I don't know.

I will tell you though...you're gonna get pregnant, one way or another. It's 2011 there are all kinds of options for you!! you guys will figure it out, I know it's frustrating.

I had to jump in on this was as I don't have any Bio kids either. I tried but it just didn't work out. Current DH and I considered it, but after he told me what to expect, I decided it was something I really didn't want because I love the freedom of coming and going and lack patience at this point in my life. It's enough being bothered with him and SD . . just kidding.

Also, just because you have children doesn't mean their going to be there for you in your old age. I have a relative whose only child refused to come and see about her when she was admitted to a nursing home. It broke my heart to hear her tell him "don't forget to call me" to the child whom the sun rose and set on. Even now he still doesn't call her on a regular basis because he's busy and she's clearly not a priority. She recently had heart surgery and he didn't even return the doctor's call about her prognosis.

My entire family is shocked beyond belief by his behavior, but what are we supposed to do? So we step up and pick up the slack. I recently told her I'd always come and see about her. I take her stuff they don't have like fresh fruit and reeses cups and gum. . treats that we take for granted. I also give her hugs, brush her hair and tell her I love her.

Finally, I'm relying on my nieces and nephews and host of other relatives to come and see about me if and when that time comes because I have been good to them and showed them kindess. I'm hoping my good karma will return to me what I've extended.

I wish you the best in trying to conceive. You are indeed still young so keep trying, and stay encouraged. . .time is on your side.

I understand where you're coming from! (((Hugs)))

I'm 33, been through IVF drama, etc... I have two SS's and their BM's are awful human beings. That makes not being able to have a baby the easy, natural way that much more painful at times. I know what you mean about the fear of being alone. However, as someone else has said, having children (bio or otherwise) is no guarantee of companionship or family later in life.

Try to concentrate on your relationship with your DH and on nurturing a good circle of friends. A sincere sisterhood of women can be invaluable. I, for one, have had to build a family of my own (because the one into which I was born is pretty fucked up). You can do that, too.

Not to worry...it will happen when the time is right. And, even if it doesn't, you'll be fine. I know plenty of older people who have children who don't give them the time of day. But, they have people who are NOT family who take very good care of them. We have several elderly relatives with no children who we take care of religiously, for no other reason than we love them to pieces! It doesn't have to be your OWN children who love you!

***on a personal note, during a recent bout with the flu, my daughter's friends (both male and female) expressed as much concern about me as she did. They would actually drive all the way out here and leave soup on the porch for me--then text me to let me know it was out there!

I feel the same. I'm over 40 and DH thinks we are too old to have a baby. As an only child myself without even a single cousin, I know I will die alone. DH doesn't "get it" and tells me I'm trying to be a martyr and that I can have everything a "real" mom has with his DS6 if I just try harder. I hate him for this. He tells me it's not his fault I never had a baby before I met him. I feel punished for beliving in not having kids out of wedlock.