Ok dont run away...really dont do that.. because at the end of the day she will make her own life and you will have yours with your husband.

I would tell her in a calm tone..well try to be calm that you are hurt and pissed with her because of her taking you and your husband for granted. Tell her that you are simply going to walk away and maybe when she decides to be a respectful,appreciative SD that you may not be around as you are at the end of your rope.

You know what maybe the reason your husband is not "getting it" is because he just cannot be bothered with her crap anymore because it just hurts him and well...he's had enough of an ungrateful daughter..

Hang in there and be glad it's her life and not yours.... Z:)

Such a shame how they treat us. Have 2 stepson. on ss is nice other is a jerk. We have disengaged. He has been disrespectful for years. He turned 30 and got married
this year. He was nasty and dis respectful towards us. I posted about this before. I will keep it brief. At the receiving line they wanted me next to the brother. DH said something wife to be said twice you are just the step mom and family comes first. Husband said I want to be next to my wife. We have been married since 1993
They were married 3 years and divorced in 1983.
So he just changed it and that was that.
We helped them out with wedding but he needed the money sooner for a car. We told him we would give it to him, but he had to replace it. We wanted to pay towards wedding. His mother and aunts bad mouth DH at wedding etc. She told other ss, he had to pick sides. He said we paid for the car not the wedding etc. was so nasty with husband on the phone. He has always played sides etc.
So we have had enough that was in Oct. We saw them for Christmas at stepson house. They were civil. We have both had enough and will not be treated like money bags. We are done with them both.
He has not called since. Called him for new years and he did not call. Goes to see his mom all the time. Post about things on face book. So we hid him from face book. We will only send private message to other SS and his wife. That way we will not see his posts etc. We can still see pictures of grand son and no have to see posts from the ex. You can only do so much for others and put up with so much, and we have had enough.

I agree with Crayon. Disengage from her. She does not respect you or your husband and nothing will change that. Do not do anything else for her.

Disengaging does indeed work. When someone you've been kind to doesn't show kindness, appreciation or concern for your feelings in return, it's time to disengage to avoid getting your feelings hurt over and over again. And then you'll get angry at yourself for getting sucked in. I stopped showing my SD kindness years ago because she doesn't deserve it. I don't expect much from her and she has yet to fail in that aspect.

Do you like to read? I'd like to suggest a book for you that really helped me. It's called, "Your Eroneous Zones" by Dr. Dyer. Very very good book that might help you steer the way ahead. I did the whole eruption thing too, on my sister-in-law and like I was throwing up and could not control myself the words kept spewing for along time afterwards. I had pushed down so much for so long.....I thought I had dealt with situations as they came up and the fundamental part had been taken care of, the emotional part had not.

Take it from someone who had children very young that she will understand what sacrifices were made for her as a child after she has her own child. My children are raised now and they are back to being human beings. It seemed about middle school they both decided to be poop stains, about 17 they decided to start joining the real world again. My own children did some very selfish things. They still do at times. I don't really think they have the capacity understand how their selfishness can hurt us - becauase mostly they just think of themselves. I would venture to say she has probably posted stuff about things she did with you and your husband, and her bmom felt what you are feeling a few times too. I don't know - but if this is the only reason you are considering leaving your husband. I would hang in there for a while, and just take the high road. Your relationship with your husband may get better now that he is out of the house consumed with her own problems. But, seems she is at a cross road. Hopefully she will matur. Good luck!

Disengage. You're only setting yourself up for disappointment if you don't disengage. Blood is thicker than water. Maybe someday she will mature.