Call me a bitch but I call it being super dramatic and a big cry for attention.Another symptom of being ignored at home because the skids rule the husband 'how many people can i get to worry sick about me because no else in my life seems to care?'
~~~I say this since based on her most recent journal entry,she is fine.If she really IS serious and wants to hurt herself then I sincerely hope she gets the help she needs as soon as possible.
"NO ONE should threaten suicide to people they KNOW care about them...and then walk away, leaving them scared and wondering of they're alrigh. Cruel. And rude. And manipulative."
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Absolutely agree. I understand that in distress we don't always consider how certain things we say are calculated in other peoples' minds, however, the thought that went into her poem & the fact that she chose to include the idea of suicide indicates that she was well-aware that it would resonate throughout this group & grab attention.
I've lost 2 dear friends to suicide & it makes me angry. To threaten it is without the intention is manipulative & attention-seeking behavior. To follow through with it is beyond selfish.
To blog about it & undoubtedly read the concerned & worried responses & NOT reply back, yet continue posting elsewhere is cruel & irresponsible...but at least she got the dramatic attention she was looking for.
I don't think it's so much "put up or shut up". I can appreciate venting. However, to post something that threatens suicide one day & not respond to any of the obviously very concerned comments, yet continue posting elsewhere as though it's a day like any other is creating needless concern & worry.
Clearly, she's still posting. She's still alive. She's still active on the board, so why not go ahead & reply to let people know she's okay...or not okay.
To post threats of suicide & just leave concerned people hanging in the dark while you carry on elsewhere is rude.
Thanks, Crayon. Did she not try to blog here yesterday about how painful the baby issue was to her and was told outright that her husband did not love her?
Then she went quiet obviously until this new poem.
We are all in agony and should be the best of friends here to one another- despite our differences.
I agree that poetry can be interpreted in different ways. However, having lost a ST member to suicide & understanding the pressure that comes from being a SM, it is difficult to take mention of it lightly...especially given the emotion that surrounded it.
Especially since I just read that she is a member that has been here before but under a different name,if ST has already lost a member to suicide I would think members who knew about this wouldn't play around with 'poetry' in such a way as to lead people to automatically have the word suicide on their tongues.It's kind of callous in my opinion.I think a disclaimer should have been attached to the poetry stating it is JUST poetry and NOT a cry for help.
The guilty dog always barks. That's how I see the "difference" in the posters on this site, Sky. I did NOT like the way that she was treated yesterday. She probably feels unwelcome after reading a few, IMO- too "blunt" comments.
Exactly, butterfly. You can be truthful without being mean. (I'm trying to teach my H this right now too! lol)
I have experienced the same thing at times myself on this site, telling my story. When things in my life are at the absolute worst, I don't talk about it on this site because of the fear of judgment.
Nobody should feel like this on this site. That is what the site is "supposed" to be for?
I've seen plenty get flamed but in my opinion, if we all stick together if someone is being jumped for no reason, the "mean" ones normally will run off, after awhile.
Well I went back and read everything after having a late breakfast and some coffee.I realize My delivery sucked.
As far as I know I am not known to be a mean girl around here and my post was grossly out of character for me.This whole thing just really struck a chord for me because I grew up with someone very close to me who used to leave letters and poems with suicidal undertones.I remember that panicky feeling wondering if she was going to try something or not.I guess I let that experience color my tone when addressing Demi.
I'm not taking back what I said because that won't help anything but I will admit my words could have been chosen better and i could have been softer.So for that I apologize to Demi and others who find themselves hurting and vulnerable.
YOU don't know what someone is capable of handling. Who made you judge and jury? I don't think what you guys wrote drove her off, but Jesus Christ. Someone posts something where they are obviously hurting, and all you can think about is how it is not cool for YOU? What the fuck ever. Don't act like you are all concerned that she "might" commit suicide and then turn around and say she seemed "fully capable" of handling it.
This is disgusting.
I happen to know her past history, and you guys barked up the wrong tree messing with her. Way to kick someone when they are down and hurting.
"I'm worried about her, too, but as someone whose family has experienced suicide, I find posting a 'letter' about killing oneself and then walking away...leaving people who care about you worried and scared ? VERY not cool. Under ANY and all circumstances."
Yes, I am aggravated. Why? because you were real quick to imply that she was contemplating suicide, and then a few posts later, talk about how she seemed to be able to "take it."
Classic behavior, trying to turn your reprehensible behavior on someone else, and call them bitter and angry. Sorry, sweetie, I'm not biting. Your excuse making doesn't wash with me. If this is how you treat someone you are concerned may be suicidal, I have pity on your "real" friends. Carry on.
I don't remember the post from yesterday.I was referring to my comments today.Whether she could handle it or not,I lashed out at her when I should have stayed out of it knowing it hit so close to home for me.
I feel horrible for Demi!! I certainly hope that I was not a contributing factor to her not being on here any more. Although I do agree that she might not have been very rational by posting anything w/ the word suicide in it & then not letting us know that she really was ok - but, as so many have already said, this is a place to vent, among friends & kindred spirits. There will always be 'haters' out there but I agree w/ butterfly - the mean ones will go away if you just ignore them! Here's hoping that Demi is ok.
I am sad Demi left. I like her a lot and empathize with her situation.
This escalating of tensions happens every couple of months or more on here. I have been here 2 years now. And have seen this, usually resulting in a bunch of people leaving or being kicked off. Lately it hasn't been too bad--we used to have some posters who actively bulled others and some who were trolling BMs who tried to be inflammatory. I didn't read the posts yesterday so am not talking about anyone here now--I am talking about history. Ask Crayon, she's seen it all too.
Okay I spend one day in court and don't log on and you miss a lot. I liked Demi, that is too bad....
The tone of the site is very harsh lately. I keep getting at least one or two people bashing me for not wanting SD back in my life. You have to indicate that you are venting on your posts so that people understand. That is a shame, everyone on here is venting to some degree. Even with that, someone ultimately tells you you are wrong and you should love these kids no matter what.
If only it were that easy, we would not need the site.
She posted something on her
She posted something on her journal blog at 6 this morning so that was after the sad poem she wrote. She didn't seem sad in that one.
Call me a bitch but I call it
Call me a bitch but I call it being super dramatic and a big cry for attention.Another symptom of being ignored at home because the skids rule the husband 'how many people can i get to worry sick about me because no else in my life seems to care?'
~~~I say this since based on her most recent journal entry,she is fine.If she really IS serious and wants to hurt herself then I sincerely hope she gets the help she needs as soon as possible.
Ok,let the flaming begin.
And I'm sorry you felt the
And I'm sorry you felt the need to alarm everyone with your poetic expression.I will say I'm glad you're ok and this was not a true cry for help.
"NO ONE should threaten
"NO ONE should threaten suicide to people they KNOW care about them...and then walk away, leaving them scared and wondering of they're alrigh. Cruel. And rude. And manipulative."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Absolutely agree. I understand that in distress we don't always consider how certain things we say are calculated in other peoples' minds, however, the thought that went into her poem & the fact that she chose to include the idea of suicide indicates that she was well-aware that it would resonate throughout this group & grab attention.
I've lost 2 dear friends to suicide & it makes me angry. To threaten it is without the intention is manipulative & attention-seeking behavior. To follow through with it is beyond selfish.
To blog about it & undoubtedly read the concerned & worried responses & NOT reply back, yet continue posting elsewhere is cruel & irresponsible...but at least she got the dramatic attention she was looking for.
I did send a MSG to th
I did send a MSG to th 'contact us' link earlier - haven't heard a response yet though??
Sometimes a big cry for
Sometimes a big cry for attention is what is needed to get the support you need to change your life for the better.
I have not heard a thing from
I have not heard a thing from her nor recieved any messages since yesterday.
She is in S. Africa . Thoughtful, kind, and soft. Very empathetic to others.
I "feel" like she is fine though.
ADDED: WTF ? Has anybody else seen her poem?! OMG I hope my gut after reading / feeling that is wrong. It got my attention. She is in a ton of pain.
I don't think it's so much
I don't think it's so much "put up or shut up". I can appreciate venting. However, to post something that threatens suicide one day & not respond to any of the obviously very concerned comments, yet continue posting elsewhere as though it's a day like any other is creating needless concern & worry.
Clearly, she's still posting. She's still alive. She's still active on the board, so why not go ahead & reply to let people know she's okay...or not okay.
To post threats of suicide & just leave concerned people hanging in the dark while you carry on elsewhere is rude.
Thanks, Crayon. Did she not
Thanks, Crayon. Did she not try to blog here yesterday about how painful the baby issue was to her and was told outright that her husband did not love her?
Then she went quiet obviously until this new poem.
We are all in agony and should be the best of friends here to one another- despite our differences.
Ok - she's posted again on
Ok - she's posted again on her original msg. She's ok! She went to the gym!!
I saw it just now........
I saw it just now........
She went to the gym??? I
She went to the gym??? I need to go to the gym!!
We steppers need to take care of ourselves!!!
LOL- You go to the gym and I
LOL- You go to the gym and I am going to the liquor store to buy a bottle of Jameson...
I agree that poetry can be
I agree that poetry can be interpreted in different ways. However, having lost a ST member to suicide & understanding the pressure that comes from being a SM, it is difficult to take mention of it lightly...especially given the emotion that surrounded it.
Especially since I just read
Especially since I just read that she is a member that has been here before but under a different name,if ST has already lost a member to suicide I would think members who knew about this wouldn't play around with 'poetry' in such a way as to lead people to automatically have the word suicide on their tongues.It's kind of callous in my opinion.I think a disclaimer should have been attached to the poetry stating it is JUST poetry and NOT a cry for help.
I realize there are members
I realize there are members who aren't aware. The fact is that suicide is a sensitive subject anyway.
Looks like "Demi" has closed
Looks like "Demi" has closed her Step Talk account. I can't find anything with her posts.
Poor thing comes her to vent
Poor thing comes her to vent and gets bashed. Man some people can be so judgemental!
Indeed.
Indeed.
(No subject)
I am so, so sad that another
I am so, so sad that another poster got run off by people who refuse to empathize with her pain.
This is a website to vent. I guess it is also a website to come and get MORE beat up on.
The guilty dog always barks.
The guilty dog always barks. That's how I see the "difference" in the posters on this site, Sky. I did NOT like the way that she was treated yesterday. She probably feels unwelcome after reading a few, IMO- too "blunt" comments.
One can be honest, truthful,
One can be honest, truthful, and show an objection without making someone cry. There are more polite ways to communicate, IMHO.
Exactly, butterfly. You can
Exactly, butterfly. You can be truthful without being mean. (I'm trying to teach my H this right now too! lol)
I have experienced the same thing at times myself on this site, telling my story. When things in my life are at the absolute worst, I don't talk about it on this site because of the fear of judgment.
Nobody should feel like this
Nobody should feel like this on this site. That is what the site is "supposed" to be for?
I've seen plenty get flamed but in my opinion, if we all stick together if someone is being jumped for no reason, the "mean" ones normally will run off, after awhile.
Well I went back and read
Well I went back and read everything after having a late breakfast and some coffee.I realize My delivery sucked.
As far as I know I am not known to be a mean girl around here and my post was grossly out of character for me.This whole thing just really struck a chord for me because I grew up with someone very close to me who used to leave letters and poems with suicidal undertones.I remember that panicky feeling wondering if she was going to try something or not.I guess I let that experience color my tone when addressing Demi.
I'm not taking back what I said because that won't help anything but I will admit my words could have been chosen better and i could have been softer.So for that I apologize to Demi and others who find themselves hurting and vulnerable.
YOU don't know what someone
YOU don't know what someone is capable of handling. Who made you judge and jury? I don't think what you guys wrote drove her off, but Jesus Christ. Someone posts something where they are obviously hurting, and all you can think about is how it is not cool for YOU? What the fuck ever. Don't act like you are all concerned that she "might" commit suicide and then turn around and say she seemed "fully capable" of handling it.
This is disgusting.
I happen to know her past history, and you guys barked up the wrong tree messing with her. Way to kick someone when they are down and hurting.
"I'm worried about her, too,
"I'm worried about her, too, but as someone whose family has experienced suicide, I find posting a 'letter' about killing oneself and then walking away...leaving people who care about you worried and scared ? VERY not cool. Under ANY and all circumstances."
Yes, I am aggravated. Why? because you were real quick to imply that she was contemplating suicide, and then a few posts later, talk about how she seemed to be able to "take it."
if you don't get what's wrong with that, fine.
Classic behavior, trying to
Classic behavior, trying to turn your reprehensible behavior on someone else, and call them bitter and angry. Sorry, sweetie, I'm not biting. Your excuse making doesn't wash with me. If this is how you treat someone you are concerned may be suicidal, I have pity on your "real" friends. Carry on.
I don't remember the post
I don't remember the post from yesterday.I was referring to my comments today.Whether she could handle it or not,I lashed out at her when I should have stayed out of it knowing it hit so close to home for me.
lol. Asher, your post
lol. Asher, your post actually suprised me very much. Very out of character for you. You are NOT a mean girl, and I don't think most of us are either.
It has actually been VERY calm around here for at least a month or so, but it used to be REALLY bad. There were some VERY mean girls here.
Don't beat yourself up about it. Things come out wrong all the time.
Echo...I agree, I know she already deleted one account because of her H. Maybe that is what happened this time.
I feel horrible for Demi!! I
I feel horrible for Demi!! I certainly hope that I was not a contributing factor to her not being on here any more. Although I do agree that she might not have been very rational by posting anything w/ the word suicide in it & then not letting us know that she really was ok - but, as so many have already said, this is a place to vent, among friends & kindred spirits. There will always be 'haters' out there but I agree w/ butterfly - the mean ones will go away if you just ignore them! Here's hoping that Demi is ok.
I am sad Demi left. I like
I am sad Demi left. I like her a lot and empathize with her situation.
This escalating of tensions happens every couple of months or more on here. I have been here 2 years now. And have seen this, usually resulting in a bunch of people leaving or being kicked off. Lately it hasn't been too bad--we used to have some posters who actively bulled others and some who were trolling BMs who tried to be inflammatory. I didn't read the posts yesterday so am not talking about anyone here now--I am talking about history. Ask Crayon, she's seen it all too.
Okay I spend one day in court
Okay I spend one day in court and don't log on and you miss a lot. I liked Demi, that is too bad....
The tone of the site is very harsh lately. I keep getting at least one or two people bashing me for not wanting SD back in my life. You have to indicate that you are venting on your posts so that people understand. That is a shame, everyone on here is venting to some degree. Even with that, someone ultimately tells you you are wrong and you should love these kids no matter what.
If only it were that easy, we would not need the site.