I don't want to travel 6 hours to attend SS's concert but don't want to end up looking like the b*tch
BM moved to a town 3 hours away when SS7 was younger (she's court ordered to not move further). BM texts FDH last week that SS has a concert this week @ 6:30 - so he forwards it to me asking if I'll go.
I work full-time & am in the middle of studying for final exams - last semester of my BComm - I decided to upgrade to my bachelors a few years back. So, I have an excuse this time & FDH understands.
I know I will want to decline in the future, it's not my problem BM moved far away & it's an entire treck to go to these concerts; not to mention I'd have to take time off work. Besides the fact that we have to pay the mileage for FDH to go, it's another evening I don't see him (I don't see him very often as he works shifts), I have things to do as we bought a semi-fixer upper home to accomadate his son (we originally wanted a condo).
Anyone else in this situation? It would be different if he lived in the city & then it would only be 2 hours or so out of my time ... not 7 or so. I know FDH also wants me to attend as her new bf will probably be going, but like I said, it's around the corner for them - 6 hours travel time for us ...
IF you go and don't complain,
IF you go and don't complain, your husband will appreciate it and you more than you know. I love taking road trips with my husband. We get to really talk uninterruptedly for hours. Also, your contact with ss is limited because you're so far away. I'd consider it a blessing if my ss's were three hours away but they're not. They're with us ALL of the time! There are some accommodations that have to be made when we marry men with children. It could be A LOT worse!
p.s. and at least BM gave you
p.s. and at least BM gave you a week's notice!
and your presence will make
and your presence will make her cringe, which is almost a reward in itself
You've all put this into
You've all put this into perspective for me .. it has been a while since i've taken a road trip w DF & like Allison said, it's perfect time to just chat or enjoy each other's company.
Finally we are getting notice because the last few years BM would text DF the same morning or the day before knowing that he can't take time off at the last minute like that so we've never gone to any of his concerts. His teacher is a whole other story since we've tried communicating directly with her but says that BM showed her custody papers saying that she's supposed to communicate school stuff to us (which she of course never does). But anyhow, I digress ..
& yes, it's guaranteed my presence WILL make her cringe, so that'll be the icing on top of the cake. The concert's actually been postponed to this coming week since the town they live in got snowed in this past week so I'll actually be done with school & enjoy the ride with DF.
Thanks!
what state are you in? most
what state are you in? most states have a legal process throught the schools for info to be shared to both parents. the teacher is NOT the legal authority and probably in violation of the law. i would check state law and address the principal.
ooo I never thought about
ooo I never thought about that ... naivety on my part. I'm up in Ontario, Canada - I'll check with our laws here & see if we do have a process that mandates the school has to share info with FH as he has joint custody. I really hope so since I'm very much into education & would love for us to be up to date on all that's happening @ SS's school since FH is able to take time off pretty much whenever he wants (works shifts) IF he gives enough notice so he can attend his son's school functions. Although I may not personally want to go every time, I 100% support him going whenver that may be.
LOL so true goforit .. to
LOL so true goforit .. to each her own, but for me I don't want to be or look like a b*tch if i don't have to be. Being one would also mean probably hurting DF's feelings through no fault of his own & I wouldn't want to do that either ... and turns out people here had better ideas of my own than being bitter and going or not going at all