Does this make me a petty person?
So BM introduced future DH to her new victim (err, i mean boyfriend) about 2 weeks ago, and let it slip that they were getting married next year. Ever since then, this guy is EVERYWHERE. She met future DH at SS3's daycare hoping he had signed her joke of a custody agreement, her fiance was with her, but stood back in the shadows like he was trying to hide. Whenever she introduced him while picking up SS3 on Halloween, she had him park at the road instead of coming down the driveway (which is about the length of a football field. Things just seem sketchy. She claims he's in the military and is on leave, but I don't know.
Anyway, like I said, she's a very sketchy person. I've went with DH to drop SS3 off at her house a few times. We pull up to the house (not at the road), but I stay in the car. SS3 will tell me to stay in the car because "mommy doesn't like you." Seriously? WTF? She's seen me only twice. But the last time we took him back and he said that, I just said "I really don't care if mommy likes me."
I'm so tired of hearing that from him. He's 3, I don't think he's going to say something like that unless she has said something. But what in the world could have made him say that. Future DH thinks it's probably coming from me correcting him (not letting him kick the back of my seat in the car, not letting him watch tv for hours at a time or while he eats, etc.) and him saying something like "Ms. ****** doesn't let me do that" and her saying "Well, we don't like her then." Something stupid like that.
But anyway, is it petty of me to have no desire whatsoever to meet this woman? Even if I am going to be her son's stepmother?
My BF's son, who is also 3,
My BF's son, who is also 3, does the same thing. Almost every time he comes back from BM's (it's a week on/week off schedule) he asks if I like mommy or says mommy doesn't like you. That is not something a 3 year old comes up with on their own. I believe it is coming from BM flat out telling SS that she does not like me.
Believe me, I know it gets annoying to hear it!! Now if SS asks me that question I just smile, grit my teeth and say yes SS, I do, because she's your mommy (then puke in my mouth a little :sick: ). If he simply says mommy doesn't like you, I say to him, well as long as you like me that's all that really matters.
I have no desire to interact with BM, and I don't think you're being petty not wanting to either. She's sounds like an insecure parent and an idiot to be telling her son that she doesn't like you. I wish these stupid people would learn to leave the kids out of it.
I have met bm but we don't
I have met bm but we don't communicate unless it is an emergency. So I think it's ok that you don't want to be in her face all the time. I think a lot of problems come up because the stepmom does get too involved with the bm's. It's cut out a lot of drama in my life at least.
No - I think it is normal for
No - I think it is normal for you to not want to meet her. Take kids out of the picture - have you ever wanted to meet your boyfriends exgirlfriends? Noooo. After reading on this site about all the nonsense that goes on with BM's why on earth would you WANT to meet her and start all the drama?? I don't think that makes you petty at all! It makes you smart!
Nope, not petty at all. I
Nope, not petty at all. I have seen my son's (SS) SpermIdiot exactly twice in more than 16yrs and those times were in the first 9mos that I knew my wife. The first time was in my wife's (then GF's) GrandMother's front yard when he brought the kid back from a visiation and the next time was in court about 6mos later.
I have not seen him in more than 16yrs.
If the relationship is amiable and mutually supportive for both parties and for the Skid, then sure, meet the BM.
There is no need or reason to meet the blended family opposition if you are a Sparent particularly if the BFO is an asshole.
IMHO of course.
Best regards,
Update.... Just thought this
Update....
Just thought this was funny.. Not only does BM not like me, she's apparently scared of me (according to FSS3... LOL