Hard Feelings Surfacing....Help! Please...
Guys...I'm having such a hard time. Ever since I found out thru my SIL how my SD hates me, I've been a total mess.
This family literally LAUGHS at this girl...yet acts fine in front of her. They say they had to learn to do it over the years due to her lies and deceptions..she's family. She's my DH's daughter so they do it out of respect for him.
How in the hell am I going to do it? :sick:
She is due to deliver a baby in 3 weeks and is getting married very shortly after. I honestly would LOVE to miss it all...I feel the more I know about how she feels about me, the more I want to just keep my total distance from her.
She's so much like her mother yet my DH loves her...she's his daughter.
I hear her name and I cringe..I just cannot stand how I'm feeling towards her...it's getting worse as the days go by. I find that it doesn't phase me a bit that she's getting married..I could care less and I feel sorry for the dufus that she's marrying for he's a total blind fool.
My DH is on the phone with her...'sweetie'..'sweetheart'..'baby'...he acts like she does no wrong.
And why would he not? He's her father...he knew how it was with her mother and how in the world can he admit that his daughter is so much like her? She just DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY's her way into making him look past her craziness.
What I am desperately afraid of is that she's so mentally off balance and she's bringing an innocent baby into this world. She'll have everyone rushing to the hospital on the disguise of somehow he's sick with everything out there...just to gain drama. As to which I refuse to leave my home to go because I went thru it with her and her lying as to being sick, half dead in the hospital only to want attention.
I've even found myself angry at my DH for bringing her up to me - I know now how she feels - she's not someone I want around me for a while until I learn how to deal with my anger better. I do not believe because someone is your family that you just put up with their lies and refuse to condone it.
I see his family act okay around her yet talk about her like a dog..they have dealt with it so much so they know. I feel good that I can sit and talk with them about it. But yet - she's still FAMILY and they all put on a face that shows they put up with only because of my DH.
How in the world do you do that??? How do you know that your DH's daughter hates you yet smile to her face?
She wants to shove her mother down everyone's throat and I'm sick of it too. I want nothing to do with this bitch..she has been nothing but trouble since I met my DH....I do not wish to mingle with her as she's anything to me. The baby's delivery, the wedding, birthdays for the grandson...
God help me. I love my DH to death......so how in the hell am I going to be able to be anywhere near this conniving young woman? My DH feels no matter what she does...she's lovable. I don't feel that way...I feel the more you do to a person, the more I'm going to shy away from you. I'm only human...
I hear her name and the hair on the back of my neck sticks up...for his sake I'll be civil but I will never break my neck again to do anything for her. I've done so much only to be met with hatred.
I REFUSE to compete with my DH for affection with his daughter. She is not his lover, she's his child. I will not be looked at like I'm some kind of stranger if I touch or kiss him because she's a mentally imbalanced fruitcake and feels her daddy is gone.
Advice??? I've got so many things coming up with this woman......I just wish I could avoid it all but I guess I'll have to become like his family and pretend. Never had to do it but I guess that's how you survive in this family.
What has always helped during
What has always helped during times of strife with my husband's kids is to remember that you're not doing it for them. You're doing it for the man you love. You go to those important events because they are important to him. That doesn't mean that you have to interact with her. You can be cordially aloof.
I do have a slight problem with an adult gossiping about something that may or may not have been said. To me, your sister in law is the one that is causing this drama.
Hi Totaly! I agree - gossip
Hi Totaly!
I agree - gossip is gossip and some folks like to drudge it along.
A lot of what she confirmed was saw by me on Facebook a while back too in my SD's own doings. Talked of how a "girl" came along and stole her father from her. How angry she was with that "girl".
What I have seen from my SIL is years of having my DH stick up for his daughter and his SIL just tired of it. SD has caused so much turmoil in this family that even his mother has took me aside and told me to keep my distance from SD. Told me that I was too good a person to have to listen to her lies. Even his father has told me how hurt he's been over SD's lies.
Let me say something and tell me if this makes sense...regardless of what his family has said to me - I look at my SD and all I can see is her mother. THAT'S IT. Not a young lady on the verge of motherhood and marriage...her mother. A conniving little brat that feels her daddy has been stolen. I see all this due to the lies I've heard my SD tell her father.
2 that REALLY stand out is that she told him a doctor called her up and told her some tests she had done 2 months previous had just come back..yea right..and she had a brain tumor. She cried, screamed, yelled...BM called him next crying and yelling, wanting 10 kinds of sympathy.
Guess what? That is the only time it was mentioned. That was almost 2 years ago...not a word since. Mainly because DH asked SD for the doctor's name so he could ask the doctor what was going to happen..she said okay and then the subject was dropped....okay...
Then there was the time she told DH she was fully accepted into a prestigious college...room and board, scholarships...everything. Had him so happy and proud...thing was she never graduated high school. She lived with her worthless mother who allowed her to quit...she never even had a diploma nor transcript to even apply to college. There was no way in hell she could have applied to any college - lied to him for months about that. It took me calling to find out about it...they said they had never heard of her and no one by her name was accepted.
That subject was quickly dropped too....
What I see is a young woman spiraling out of control because her dad is now married to a woman that doesn't tolerate bullshit and isn't afraid to call it out. She knows her father's family KNOWS how she is and she is in full on panic mode to make me look bad so her mother and her can stand proud in all their disfunction. My DH had been dating before he met me and all those women had to deal with being run off by these 2 bitches....I've went nowhere and she has no idea how to take me. I work, pay bills, love my husband, and am a decent citizen. Her mother has warrants, sells narcotics, grows pot...the list is huge....
Just so amazed at how her mind works....
But yes you're right...SIL was gossiping..and I know it.
Hi Step! It's a very tough
Hi Step! It's a very tough spot..to love a man so much yet despise his daughter.
And you're right - I want her to know I know about her running her mouth.
My SD is almost 20 and is as childish as they come. A lot of what she is is due to her parent's divorce. Her mother cheated on my DH more times than he could count...just flat out destroyed the marriage.
I REFUSE to take the blame for that. If she wants to blame someone for taking her father from her, she needs to look at her mother. She had a good man and chose to treat him like shit. This is not my fault. Her and her mother would go to the HOMES of women he dated maybe just once or twice and told them all kinds of lies to get rid of them.
From what I can see, DH allowed it to go along for so long that they don't know how to stop.
Enter me - I am NOTHING like BM...NOTHING. And I'm sure I'm a threat.
Someone has to make me look bad so they can look good.
Eh?
}:)