I deal with these situations at my job and I don't know what state you are in but does your Social Services have some type of petition you can file? or maybe send him to a residential group home? Odds are from what you are describing, he is headed in that direction anyway because it sounds like he is violent and will soon be getting himself in trouble with the law and courts... maybe you can circumvent that nightmare before it happens by sending him to some type of residential treatment facility or filing a petition with Social Services or Probation for assistance.

Again not sure about your state but in NY the school district where the student resided at time of placement is responsible to pay for students who are sent away (I know you mentioned you don't have $ for counseling)

It sounds like you have a very angry and out-of-control young man.

You said you can't afford counseling. I would suggest that you can't afford not to get him some help. I agree with Daizy. I would try to find free (or very inexpensive) services. His school counselor could be a great resource.

I hear you! I have trouble liking my own stepson who is 16. I can't even stand him in my home for a little week in the summer, which we are NOT obligated to have him. My husband travels from KY to MI (5 hours on a good day each way) one weekend of every month just to visit him. The kid has issues, ADHD, mood disorder , possible autism on a low scale, but the worst part is he NEVER calls his dad back on phone and acts out fo rhis stupid mom, has assaulted her and uses language with her. He keeps himself under wraps better with his dad and me, b/c we would kick his butt, but all he wants from his dad is the bday gift, Xmas gifts, and going out to eat! My husband and I get into fights about him often, he makes excuses for the kid, that his issues and poor excuse for a mom are coming in to play. I do not want him here at our house as he is draining on my energy, attention seeking too.
He is a lot to manage and it is not getting better, he will never change, but my husband wants him to be normalized which will never happen. He acts better in front of us, b.c he tells you what you want to hear, manipulates to the HILT! He is old enough to know what he is doing! And he chooses to act different ways with whomever he is with to get what he wants.
He will never grow up and his mom keeps him babified!
He is lazy as heck and she stokes that - she is lazy too. She pawns him off on whomever she can, she does not want to deal with him. She only wants the heavy amount of child support my husband has to pay her! In a year and 10 months he will be 18, child support will stop and she will try to guilt my husband into taking him! NO NO NO NO NO! I cannot take him even for a weekend! ANd I resent him for his manipulative actions. His mom is just as bad and I have had to tell her off as she is lazy and expects husband to travel more than one wekened a month th see the kid...we live 25o miles one way! Dang. This stress causes a ton of headaches in our marriage and if it wasnt for this kid we would be better off. If the kid lived with us I would be divorced.
We just had him for a week (yes i allowed it to try it) this summer at our home. He pretended ot have fun here. We made it fun. We did things with him. After he left to go back to MI, he told his mom and her parents he never wanted to come back here again! He threw us under the bus! I am angry! I was drained of energy that week, giving him a chance and all the attention etc. He tells them he didnt have a good time? After all we did? I am not doing this again. Getting off the rollercoaster of drama here. He is not welcome, he lies just lik ehis mom. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. And I know my husband is going to want to bring him back here for a week next summer. I will say NO and we will be in a big fight. I am not catering to a lying, lazy kid who only wants what he can get from his dad when he is with him. He refuses to call his dad back or take his calls on the phone. Except at Xmas or birthday time...then he takes the call, to say what he wants in terms of gifts. He and his mom are totally same. Lazy, liars, manipulative and immature mooches. I am not having that in my house. I cant like his son at all......sorry I have tried too many times over 5 years! He is not going to ever change and I resent the things my husband does for him, it is not appreciated.

I hear you! I have trouble liking my own stepson who is 16. I can't even stand him in my home for a little week in the summer, which we are NOT obligated to have him. My husband travels from KY to MI (5 hours on a good day each way) one weekend of every month just to visit him. The kid has issues, ADHD, mood disorder , possible autism on a low scale, but the worst part is he NEVER calls his dad back on phone and acts out fo rhis stupid mom, has assaulted her and uses language with her. He keeps himself under wraps better with his dad and me, b/c we would kick his butt, but all he wants from his dad is the bday gift, Xmas gifts, and going out to eat! My husband and I get into fights about him often, he makes excuses for the kid, that his issues and poor excuse for a mom are coming in to play. I do not want him here at our house as he is draining on my energy, attention seeking too.
He is a lot to manage and it is not getting better, he will never change, but my husband wants him to be normalized which will never happen. He acts better in front of us, b.c he tells you what you want to hear, manipulates to the HILT! He is old enough to know what he is doing! And he chooses to act different ways with whomever he is with to get what he wants.
He will never grow up and his mom keeps him babified!
He is lazy as heck and she stokes that - she is lazy too. She pawns him off on whomever she can, she does not want to deal with him. She only wants the heavy amount of child support my husband has to pay her! In a year and 10 months he will be 18, child support will stop and she will try to guilt my husband into taking him! NO NO NO NO NO! I cannot take him even for a weekend! ANd I resent him for his manipulative actions. His mom is just as bad and I have had to tell her off as she is lazy and expects husband to travel more than one wekened a month th see the kid...we live 25o miles one way! Dang. This stress causes a ton of headaches in our marriage and if it wasnt for this kid we would be better off. If the kid lived with us I would be divorced.
We just had him for a week (yes i allowed it to try it) this summer at our home. He pretended ot have fun here. We made it fun. We did things with him. After he left to go back to MI, he told his mom and her parents he never wanted to come back here again! He threw us under the bus! I am angry! I was drained of energy that week, giving him a chance and all the attention etc. He tells them he didnt have a good time? After all we did? I am not doing this again. Getting off the rollercoaster of drama here. He is not welcome, he lies just lik ehis mom. The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. And I know my husband is going to want to bring him back here for a week next summer. I will say NO and we will be in a big fight. I am not catering to a lying, lazy kid who only wants what he can get from his dad when he is with him. He refuses to call his dad back or take his calls on the phone. Except at Xmas or birthday time...then he takes the call, to say what he wants in terms of gifts. He and his mom are totally same. Lazy, liars, manipulative and immature mooches. I am not having that in my house. I cant like his son at all......sorry I have tried too many times over 5 years! He is not going to ever change and I resent the things my husband does for him, it is not appreciated.