I've just about had enough!!!
Ok, I haven't been on for like a month or so, in that time, things have been going OK so far. But here we go, of course things can't stay good for very long.
Oh, where do I even start. I'll make a list to see why I am at the end of my rope and losing strength in this relationship. It's so stressful, I'm starting to wonder if it's really worth it. I do love my BF, but not all the drama that he comes with. OK here is list...
1) ANOTHER freaking JOINT bday party for his son with BM. Really, again?? WTF! This is the 3rd in a row. Funny though, she actually acknowleged 2 of my friends which will be coming and wrote invitations out for them which made me laugh. I didn't get one and my BF's invitation was addressed to "Daddy". hahaha....whatever. so annoying!!
2) OK,as some of you know, my BF's parents want nothing to do with me, so of course Father's Day comes, he needs to stop over there to see his dad, fine, no big deal. But of course, the BM is there too with their son. She has the BALLS to have a pic taken of them and puts it on Facebook. I could puke, honestly. Makes me absolutely sick.
3) I was off from work yesterday. Excluding weekends and 4th of July, I have 5 days off during the summer that I took. We just bought kayaks, used them Saturday with my BF's son. We all had a great time. Conveniently, BM schudules doctor's appt for yesterday, first day of school vacation (mind you, she is not working right now, she could've made it for ANY OTHER FRIGGIN DAY!!!). We planned on going kayaking. Wait around until 11 for her to drop bratty boy off to house. He doesn't want to go because he's scared. Umm..didn't seem scared Saturday when we were on them. So now I am pissed, I waste all morning sitting around, so I go to beach alone because now this causes an arguement. He actually did drop him back off to BM at 3 so we could go kayaking, just the 2 of us.
4) The BM again, has the BALLS to ask my BF if their son is going to stay with him at all during the summer "so she can make plans". OK, my BF works outside, takes a lot of his paid days off in winter. Doesn't have any left. So she expects him to take unpaid days now 'so she can make plans'. Are you kidding??!! Guess what, your plans are doing whatever your son is doing. Your job is taking care of him. My mother took summers off to be with my brother and I. This broad has no clue whatsoever!!
Honestly guys, I can't take this. I am going to have a stomachache all summer. Knowing she's always around and around his parents house, I'm sure he's going to see her more than I care for in the next 2 months. It's not like I think anything bad, like them falling for each other, it's just, hey, you are DIVORCED! How much do they need to see each other, especially seeing that I don't like it.
I want to cry, this is so stressful. I'm almost 38 I have no kids of my own. I don't want to feel this way!!! 
Sorry this is so long!
1) joint parties -- fuck
1) joint parties -- fuck that... my mil threw sd a party twice and invited bm & the whole trailer park, so dh & i did not go to either b/c mil invited bm... bm also didn't show up to either party (hang over).... so mil tried to lay a guilt trip on dh b/c neither of sd's parents were there.... HELLO lady who the fucks fault is that?
2) i don't have that problem... dh's dad passed away years ago... mil however talks about bm like she's trash, then kisses her ass and acts liek she's the best.
3) mil does this to us every weekend..... she'll pickup sd and never confirm a time for dh to get her, so we sit around waiting for the phone to ring all weekend
4) she sounds like your typical selfish bitch..
i'm 39 and no kids of my own..
i know i didn't share any great advice, but you're not alone!!
don't cry, go to the beach after work and enjoy the sunset!!
I can believe that...I don't
I can believe that...I don't know what kind of world you live in, but attempting any stupidity such as attending the same event as our crackalacky BM is certain to end in tears and bloodshed. No way would we go, ESPECIALLY if my MIL was crazy enough to invite her, which she isn't, thank Almighty God.
Jesus... your situation is
Jesus... your situation is nearly exactly like mine except our sexes are reversed. It's a damned shame that biomoms' feelings are considered, biodads' feelings are considered, and biokids' feelings are considered, but steps' feelings are never considered. Bums me out. I'm going to have to fight through it.
Oh I want to just clarify
Oh I want to just clarify too, the pic she put on FB was of him (my BF) and her, not them all including the son, just the 2 of them. Is that sick? She just makes herself look like a moron!! Everyone knows him and I are together, have a house together, what does she think she is proving with this picture???
Holy shit. What a psycho. You
Holy shit. What a psycho. You know, I'm wondering, do you think he's secretly seeing her again? I have a hard time believing she can be that frigging nutty. I mean who puts up a picture of them with an ex when the ex has moved on? Either he's cheating on you or she is 110%, certifiably, bat-shit crazy.
hahaha........no she is just
hahaha........no she is just that crazy. she still thinks she is just a huge part of his family and does everything in her power to keep it that way. so I think in her looney toon way, she thinks all this is fine. And since his parents don't like me, they just go along and keep the charade up. It's INSANE. Insane I tell you. I don't know why any of them want to live like this or think this is healthy for anyone, especially the kid.
Starfish, I hear ya. I feel
Starfish, I hear ya. I feel your pain. And no advice needed on this, just needed to get it off my chest!!
nicely said: "Some people
nicely said:
"Some people can work together, and some can't, no matter what."
Joint parties are
Joint parties are unacceptable. My FDH knows I would never in a million years be ok with that. Really it comes down to which parent can afford the party that year. It is usually my FDH since BM is a low life that barely even helps pay for FSD's insurance. Whichever parent does not host the party normally just has a small family gathering with cake at their own house for FSD. Many people think they have to do things jointly for the sake of their children but when you decide on divorce that child now has 2 seperate families and that is just the way it is!
I wish you could drag my GF
I wish you could drag my GF off onto an island for a few days and beat some sense into her.
I dont agree with any of you,
I dont agree with any of you, you got into a relationship with a man knowing he had children, his kids should always come first! what if you had a child with him and then you split up, would you be ok with him not putting your child first? good parents always put their kids first. I dont think he should be spending time with BM alone but if they are able to do joint parties for the kids sake, that is great and you should feel blessed to be with a man that puts his childs needs first, you sound a little insecure and jealous to me, I think you should find a man that doesnt have kids because you obviously dont get it!!!
Slove, She's not upset about
Slove,
She's not upset about the kids - it's the BF's & BM's interactions. I also don't agree that the kids come first. IMO, the marriage comes first and that is the foundation for the family. That foundation supports the kids both birth and steps. My parents were married almost 40 years and I speak from experience - their marriage came before any of us kids.
Collie, if I were in your position, I would speak with BF. Joint parties are okay once in awhile and I think that they benefit the kids - as long as all the parents get along or are at least respectful and courteous to each other. That being said, you and BF should start creating your own family and traditions: weekday game night with the kids, date night with you and BF, etc. You need to tell BF that you're not comfortable with the amount of interaction between BM and him. Just remember to be fair and compromise. Recognize that some joint get togethers and parties are good for the kids but that you also have to create your own family unit.
I'm wondering if Slove is an
I'm wondering if Slove is an uncover BM??????? Well when I was with my bf, he had joint parties with his ex and their two families, I just never attended. I felt too uncomfortable and I certainly put myself and my comfort level first. If you dont, then who will. Think of what you would have to deal with uf you attended that. Hell the one time I met bm mother, she actually had the nerve to come to that car, reaking of alcohol stating she wanna meet me cause she wants to know who her grandchildren are around!!!!! Wow, I knew then I would never go to any interfamily functions. My advice ...... Run like the wind. Especially if you hope to have a family of you own one day without all this drama. If its bad now, its only gonna get worst........