Yep, the reassurance definitely helps and it's immensely comforting to see and hear about all the others out there going through the same stuff.

For me personally, this site is primarily helpful for its venting purposes and to gain comfort, advice and support from like-minded SMs and SDs out there (and the awesome Bio-parents too!). It is so amazing to be able to have a place where I can tell the truth and vent out all my frustrations. I try really hard to be a good person, wife, sister, daughter, auntie, friend etc...all day every day, and I've got so many emotional obligations (that i'm happy to do) and have to be there for so many people that by the time I do my job, spend time with my loved ones and friends and support the people I love as they need it, it doesn't leave much emotional reserves for when we have the skids. I love and enjoy them (as well as having my bad days where I hate them!) , but they want constant attention from me specifically and days and days of it in a row are exhausting. When we have the boys I work extremely hard to be the best, most involved and positive SM I can be and I know I'm good at it and that they love me and just want to spend time with me (all of which makes me feel great and happy normally) but the one challenge I have that's difficult is relating to them in relation to BM. The entire time we have them, I have to hide my disgust, contempt, anger, frustration etc.. towards her when they bring her up and although I don't lie to them and answer questions directly, I stay positive about BM around them and keep my responses neutral or positive. Lately, they are pretty upset with her and don't talk her up like they used to, but on the occasional "my mom let me stay up until midnight playing super mario RPG!" comment gets an "Uh, that's nice. That sounds like fun..." response. H and I have talked about it a lot and we know that they will (and are) figure out how horrible she is on their own. We don't bad mouth her, but we are honest. I avoid the topic of her completely with them in general.

Soooo, after four days straight of having to repress all my natural reactions to BM, it is a huuuuuge relief to get on here and not have to hold back anymore. H and I always vent to each other after we drop the kids off, but we are both always stressed from having to monitor ourselves and make sure no eye rolling, looks or accidental comments slip out in front of the skids. They know we hate her and we have calmly and clearly explained why and that sometimes adults don't like each other and that's okay. They are very cool about it all, but it is a strain on H and I to hold back our natural feelings and responses. We vent a lot to each other and I have a wonderful friend support system, but I don't want to be that friend that bitches constantly and just seems obsessed and petty. My married friends and/or friends with kids or in serious relationships understand way more, but my single, wild and free friends don't understand domestic and family related issues that well and so while they are supportive and caring, they just don't know what it's like and can only sympathize, which is nice, but not the same as sharing with other girls and guys in similar situations who actually DO understand. This site may have its problems, but it is a wonderful, wonderful place to vent and I get immense relief, inspiration, and comfort from having a place I can go and vent and write out all the stuff that is going on with my family and life and process it. Also, reading everyone else's stories is so comforting, interesting and makes me feel like there is a giant sisterhood (with some special guys thrown in) of all of us SMs, whether we are younger or older, have bio kids or not, are pregnant or can't get pregnant, going through menopause, dealing with young skids, teen skids and adult skids. No matter the difference in our backgrounds, situations, attitudes, beliefs and senses of humor we all share that we live in blended/step families and are actively trying to connect with other SMs/SDs and others to create a positive, supportive, helpful online community. There are so many varying situations out there and so many unique personalities that you are bound to find someone who can, at the very least, really empathize and understand what certain things feel like.

I have tons of friends in "real life" that I adore and love spending time with. I also have a quite a few friends that are living in other countries or staying there temporarily or just visiting and so I'm used to keeping up my friendships through emails and I love those far away friends just as much as my local pals. My best friend (who has two kids) lives about five blocks from me, so and it's really important for both of us to have each others support and have a young mom to give me advice and go hang out at the park with while the kids play. I can vent to her, but we usually give it a brief go over and then move on to more fun and personal topics and

I agree, it's certainly the reason I have stayed around the site, I have found so much common ground with many of these ladies... It's really good to know you can talk and people will relate to what you're saying rather than give you responses that don't fit your situation, or assume you are just like a BM or "first wife".

Yep...flippin, I agree with you!

first wife = young & stupid
skids = mistakes
in my situation that is.....

i have a reminder sent to all of my email addy's and click several times a day and have it on all of my signatures..... i also buy a lot of gifts for people from the site and it makes the gift more special b/c almost all of my peeps are super animal lovers (so i include in the card that 14 bowls were donated)... glad you participate, too!! you have to love the fur babies!!

I couldn't agree more.

My issue is that I'm not really "allowed" to discuss this with my friends or family because she doesn't want me "airing our dirty laundry", I know my shrink is going to be on my side, and all day every day she tells me I'm crazy for my feelings and thoughts about things. I just need some people to tell me, "yes you're nuts" or "I think you're right". I don't care either way, I just need some kind of uninvolved anonymous feedback and this place is a real peace of mind saver.