Child Support Issue
Okay here goes nothing.
I have been married to a woman with two daughters for more than 3 years.
I have recently (in the last year) found out Dad does not pay child support, comply with the order to provide medical insurance or pay his part of the medical bills.
In the end, this has directly cost me more than $30,000.00 over the past year and half. My soon to be ex-wife has grown tired of me bugging her to do something and has decided to leave.
The question is. Is there any recourse for me. I would calculate that I have paid every dime of support to these two children during the three years and Dad has not paid a dime. My wife has not and will not report him to the court which has caused a huge issue.
I have accepted the fact that these two children will soon be out of my life but have not been able to come with the terms that both the BM and BD have taken complete advantage of me for a very long time.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I live in South Carolina.
You have zero rights here.
You have zero rights here. Unless you stay married to her and she pursues it. Sorry.
If you chose to marry this
If you chose to marry this woman and help take care of her kids, then I don't believe you have any recourse. In the eyes of the court, you have provided for them on your own free will (i.e. not ordered by the court) so you can't decide now that you want your money back.
I do sympathize with your situation. It's not easy being a stepparent when you have no rights and all the resonsibility.
I'm very sorry to hear how
I'm very sorry to hear how this situation has burdened you. While going through this you've also dealt with the stress overpossibly not having the children you supported being in your life. I agree with others, don't rely solely on this site, consult a atty for advice and go from there. Good luck with everything.
cost me more than $30,000.00
cost me more than $30,000.00 over the past year and half.
+++++++++
Good Night!! How did you spend that much?
I also think you will not have a leg to stand on for this issue. It is not like you loaned anyone any money. But if you are serious about pursuing it, talk to a lawyer. Good luck.
I'm actually not seeing how
I'm actually not seeing how you were taken advantage of. I have my BS full time. His dad is in and out of his life. I don't take him for CS because that will waste everyone's time because he doesn't have steady employment and has every excuse under the sun why he doesn't have money.
My FH knows this. There have been many times where he has helped me pay for childcare for my BS, and other expenses. Food I buy for my home is for all children, and I don't keep a tally as to how much I spend for all children. I have bought things for all my skids. Its part of the deal.
At no point in my life do I expect to be paid back for all that I have put into the well being of all of these children. We are here to help and I fully know and understand the amount of time and money that goes into raising a child. Should FH and I split, there is no way I would hand him a bill for all that I put in.
You have no standing for any
You have no standing for any type of suit. You had no onbligation to support the children in any way. You chose to do so- it was a gift.
I want to thank all of you
I want to thank all of you for your posts to my question.
I do understand I have very little in the way of rights concerning this issue. The bottom-line is yes I did it out of the goodness of my heart. The oldest child has a seizure disorder which requires daily medication and regular medical intervention.
I assumed this was a long term relationship. In fact, I thought it was a marriage that would last forever. I just simply think it is very unfair of people to take advantage of someone's kindness and giving. I understand the Family Court is a court of laws, however, how a judge could not see through what these two people have done is very closed minded.
The BM has left the house with the children. Ten days after leaving the house she filed against the BF for arrears in family court. After a complete year of telling me she was doing something about the problem, she waits until she has moved out and asked for a divorce.
Regardless of the reasoning some have used...A gift...There is no way I would hand them a "bill", etc. This is not right. It would have been much simpler and less taxing emotionally if she would have stole the money and left. Really, a gift. The child needed the medication which cost $1200/mo. Was I supposed to let her go without the medication. It was a forced gift. Forced by the mother and the father.
Sorry for venting. It just seems so unfair that someone would do this to me or anyone else. I suppose in the end, take it as a warning if you are reading this post. Be careful who you fall in love with and marry.
Really. I didn't put a price
Really. I didn't put a price tag...I supported her in every way possible until the day she left my house. How is that putting a price tag on her.
I have no idea how you can say this. A child comes into my life. The mother does nothing to support her. The father does nothing to support her. I support her in every way possible.
The mother wants out for some reason and files for the arrears the next week after telling me she is taking care of the issue for over a year. How in the world is that putting a price tag on the child.
Wow..Wow is all I can say to you.
I am guessing there was some
I am guessing there was some unfinished emotional business for your STBX that she felt she could not persue the BF until she was out of the relationship with you. Not fair on you, but unfortunately in messed up relationships, there is often odd patterns of behaviour that can drive second relationships appart.
I'm glad that you did pay for your SD's seizure meds - and moderately worried for her that she won't receive the medical attention she needs while the parents fight it out in the courts - but you can't change anything in this situation, as you did your best while she was with you.
As for money back - would it be worth the fight, or is it better written off as a "life lesson" (all be it an expensive one!)