Between a Rock and a Hard Places - Financial Woes
Just a vent about how UNFAIR the system is.
We live with in-laws but we're looking at getting our own place. Went looking at some affordable 2 br apartments. What a joke. We do not qualify to live there because we are too RICH. And the reason why we are considered to be too rich is that Child Support is not deducted from calculations of "money available to our household" and neither are we able to claim that the 2 kids live with us (they are here every weekend, but it's not more than 50% of the time". So in essence, DH's ENTIRE salary is being counted as providing for 3 people.
Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh!!!
And if that wasn't bad enough. Looking at getting a mortgage for a small, cheap house. NOW they decide that Child Support counts!! But, guess what, it counts as DEBT!!!! So now, CS added to car payment and credit card payments means we're over and above the 36% debt ratio maximum, and our debt ratio will be UNNATURALLY high until the last kid turns 18!!! If it were a normal, nuclear family, money that is spent on kids would NEVER count as Debt.
Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh!!!
But BM is a poor, single mum, with a low-wage job (by choice) and a 20-hr work week (by choice), collect a tidy sum of CS (because DH chooses to work hard) is living comfortable with her kids in a nice 3 br apartment for low-income families. She's eligible for free government insurance, while DH pays an-arm-and-a-leg for insurance for us and the kids. And she won't save a single cent of CS money for the kids to go to college!
It is hard to struggle
It is hard to struggle financially when you know the BM is skating through fairly easy. I am both a BM and a SM. Being that I am a SM, my DH pays his CS and it's half of what he makes a month. When I met him he was behind on everything only able to make his car and insurance payment and phone. It's a hard pill to swallow now that I am the bread winner of the family. I even have a second part time job. we can't afford a new car, I drive a 12 year old POS, his ex drives a brand new 2010 mazda, we can't afford vacations, BM is on a cruise this week, we live paycheck to paycheck..she collects CS from 2 ex spouses and works as a teachers assistant. She takes her ex's back for increases every 3 years on the dot (the state allowed time frame) I haven't taken my EX back in over 7 years! I don't believe in taking advantage. Sometimes I can't help but be resentful about it all. I understand your frustration and your being stuck in that position. It just plain old sucks. I know he had a kid when I met him..and all that, but I didn't realize that I'd end up supporting the household. I and my son have sacrificed a lot to his ex..it's hard to not get a little bitter sometimes. I just keep thinking, this will pass one day..one day...
Hang in there girls, it does
Hang in there girls, it does get better... The best is watching this woman who received CS and alimony get nothing anymore... Now Karma has come back to bite her in the ass... I know that for me I am normally a very forgiving person.. not anymore... She deserves exactly what she has... NOTHING.. We own our house I can pretty much do what I want, buy what I want.. while she works two jobs and lives in a 400 sq ft basement apartment... Karma is a bitch so hang in there you will see her get what she deserves... }:)