What do you do if your BS father is mentally unstable?
I have a 2 1/2 yr old BS. His father has a history of mental illness..OCD and Bi-polar disorder (OCD is confirmed and he denies Bi-polar). I know in the past he was taking Lithium and Depakote to treat his mental illness. He told me today the he is no longer taking his medication and that he realizes he isn't "mentally stable" but he's working on it. My ex has a history of disappearing and not contacting people, cheating, lying and being extremely secretive. He says he loves my BS which i think he does in his own way, but love can't replace a stable environment. I it might sound like I want my son to never see his father but that's not the case. I don't want my son around someone who can't take care of themselves b/c they are mentally not in a good place...let alone them try to care for a child. My ex is remarried and has a 1 yr old as well...I don't know if they see what I do, but his wife and I aren't on good terms so she isn't someone I can talk to about it.
how do i go about getting
how do i go about getting the supervised visitation? I'm guessing I would have to meet with a lawyer. He has my son for Easter and I don't want to be in contempt of my court order by not letting him go with his father.
Unfortunately I don't have any of his medical records or documentation of his mental illess but his family knows about it. I'm a little confused why he stopped taking the meds. I'm a nurse and I know that you don't just stop those types of meds and that there are no natural remedies for those disorders. He can be very manipulative and tries to charm his way out of situations...or just flat out lies. He's never actually come clean about the bi-polar disorder..he's said he was diagnosed with OCD but given his symptoms and the meds it's pretty clear there is something more severe occuring.
I am in a similar situation
I am in a similar situation only I am married to my BP husband & our son is 2 1/2. It is one of the major reasons we stay married as I would be a worried mess if we were divorced & my DH had him EOW w/o me there. Don't get me wrong I love my husband but he is a HUGE responsibility.
I am thankful that my DH would never stop taking the meds ( he is on Dep & Lithium) but sometimes over time the meds can lose their effectiveness.
I know you say that you & his wife are not on good terms, but she may have the same worries you do about her own child. It may be worth taking the chance & reaching out to her, because chances are she bares the burden of caring for your child at visitation, not dad.
I can try talking to her,
I can try talking to her, but she has tried to make it out like they are amazing parents and I am a bad mom. I'm not a bad mom and I do everything for my son. My ex has no clue how his actions or lack of them affect my son and his well being. When my ex was on his meds I had no issues with him..but recently he's decided to buy a new house, a new car, and yet he can't help financially support his child, he lies constantly and he doesn't even see there is a problem.
That is because he is
That is because he is cycling...How did you find out he went off his meds?
He told me...flat out told
He told me...flat out told me this morning that he stopped taking them. Then he said he was trying the natural approach or something like that and that he knows he is mentally unstable but that he's working on it.
From what I know he did.
From what I know he did. He's done this before..where he stops taking them. He did it while we were together and that's when all the lies and infidelity started..which could have been part of him beign manic. I worry about my son being around him...I can't be there to see what actually goes on..my son loves him but he's also too young to understand.
Does he do any therapy, like
Does he do any therapy, like cognative therapy? I don't think it is unusual for people with bipolar disorder to go off their meds, because of the side effects that are sometimes unpleasant. Going cold turkey will give a person a lot of side effects as well.
If this were me, I would try & handle this situation as gently as possible so that he & SM don't see you as the enemy. What kind of visitation does he have? Could you say something like this???
" Exhusband, I can appreciate how difficult this must be for you, what can I do to help you during this time? Would it be beneficial to you & SM if we discontinued the overnights until you are feeling on more stable grounds? "
Play it like you are trying to be helpful to him, but still safeguarding your son.
In the past he was seeing a
In the past he was seeing a therapist..but that was like 4 years ago...he stopped going b/c he said she was a "bitch". I can understand going of the meds b/c of the side effects but there arent many alternatives to the meds. And you're right that cold turkey can really have adverse side effects.
I do like your approach and might see if I can make it work. The problem is we like in 2 separate states. Our schedules don't allow for us to both have time off for me to supervise him with my son. As of now his visitation is every other weekend and any other time I deem appropriate.