handling homework for a 9 year old
Would anyone mind sharing their homework routine with me? I usually don't get home from work until close to 6 so it's up to BF to help SD9 with her homework. He does it exactly how I would - go over it with her at the beginning but make her do it on her own and is available to answer questions. he discussed this with her teacher and the teacher agreed that that is the way to teach independence and responsibility. BM on the other hand feels that he is "not co-parenting" and does nothing to help her. She sits with her every night and pretty much does her homework for her. She sat with her for 2 hours the other night because SD9 had a social studies test and according to BM "she knew nothing after being at your house". Not to mention that SD9 didn't have any homework to turn in the other day because she wasn't responsible enough to keep track of her own things and everything's always all over the place so it got recycled. At what point should SD9 be held accountable for her lack of responsibility when it comes to her homework? She's still a little kid but she's in 4th grade - she should be able to keep track of her own things without us doing it for her. We shouldn't have to tell her every single time to put her dish in the dishwasher, not the sink. BM babies her and claims to want her to have good study habits but she's never going to have good study habits if Mommy's right there to fix everything. She's got to try and figure out answers for herself and she's got to fail at it so that she understands what it really means to study and what she needs to pay more attention to. Does there not come a time when a kid needs to step up to the plate and be responsible for his/her actions or am I being ridiculous with too high expectations? that's how I grew up - my ass would have been grass if I lost my homework or didn't know what I was supposed to be doing.
It depends on the child
It depends on the child really. Some kids need more interactive approach to homework than others. My BD10 has never had a problem taking initiative on getting her work done. On the other hand, my BD12 has had trouble since the very beginning.
Both my kids occasionally leave stuff at my house when they're at dad's and visa versa. My daughter called a couple of days ago to say she left her spelling book at my place. It's part of the pitfall of having two residences. I would give your SD9 a break there.
If SD9's dad is sitting with her then he would know if she's having a problem getting her homework done with him.What does he say?
BTW...I initial all my kids' homework that I do with them. That way the teacher knows which parent helped with each assignment.
Oops. I meant to include the
Oops. I meant to include the schedule. They get home around 3:00-3:30. I get home from work by 5 but tell them to get started by 4:30. I want them to have a little play time get their energy out but they should have their books out and studying by the time i get home. I sit down with them if they're having trouble but for the most part I can cook dinner while they finish up. A couple days a week they go over to their dad's for the evening and get picked up by 6:30. If there's homework left to do he'll pick it up from there.
They have to initial her
They have to initial her homework binder each night so the teacher definitely knows when she's with us and when she's with BM. I guess I got so annoyed that her homework got thrown out because I see how disorganized she is and how little respect she has for her things (just like her daddy). There are papers EVERYWHERE and I don't really understand how if she was doing her homework, why it didn't get put right back into her homework binder instead of being thrown on the floor where everything else is. BF was actually annoyed at that too because when he was telling me the story, my first question was "Did she keep it where it was supposed to be and keep track of it?". He said of course not and that's exactly what he said to her. So I'm glad he's finally joined me in trying to teach her to start being personally responsible for her things and actions.
My kids get home from school
My kids get home from school at 3:30. Their ages are 5-14. I give them 15 min. to have snack and unwind. Then they all get up to the table with their homework. I stay in the kitchen and work on my pc while they do their homework. That way I can make sure they are staying on task and doing what they are supposed to and if they need help I can help them. When I say help I don't mean do it for them. On the dishes issue I still have to tell ALL my kids including the 14 year old to put their dishes in the dishwasher. Infact this morning I told them while they were eating and they still put them in the sink. I just made them go back and put them in the dishwasher. It is normal for them to do that, you just have to stay on them and make them follow through.