hey Brightside, don't dwell on it too much. I've been with my DH for 5 years and we always put Jenn and Dad on all of the gifts but the kids as well as MIL, all of his family on recognize that DH has bought items for the kids. You know what you've done and DH knows what you've done and I just wouldn't sweat it. I have 2 bio kids as well and they do the same thing to my DH. I think it's more habit than anything. You might be right about if you had your own child then it might not be as bad, I never thought of it that way.

Brightside, I know exactly how you feel. Whenever we get SD18 & SD22 a present or do something for them they always thank DH but not me. I've often heard them saying "my dad got me this, my dad did this" and they also refer to our vehicles, home or whatever else as "my dad's this or that". I'm never mentioned and it makes me sad too, especially on the gifts because I'm the one who usually comes up with the ideas and actually buys the stuff. I don't have bio kids either, so it's a real bummer not to feel a part of the family (and my DH wonders why I feel this way, duh!). Guess it's a good thing my furbabies appreciate the new toys & treats I buy for them.

Hey BrightSide!

Same here. And I am the one that used to do ALL the shopping for the 3 ungrateful SDs! Birthdays, Christmases, other special occasions- you name it, I would bust my hump to go out and get it for them.

But when "present time" came, it was always the same...
"Thanks, Dad"

And I have two BS, too. It still hurt like hell.

So I don't shop for the little ingrates anymore. Daddy can do it, since he's the one who gets the credit, anyway

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

*luckily* for me my sd5's biomom has taught her quite well the importance of material gifts and she being only 5 already knows about quality and name brands versus walmart stuff, and ALWAYS wants to know who everything came from. she's always saying "mommy got me this...and so and so got me that..." not so much in an appreciative way, but more like "look how spoiled i am, and my mom gives me better stuff than everyone else."

and it also seems that every time we give her something she already has the same thing or a *better* variation at home. and even when she does get excited about a gift, the next time she comes over she has a new reason why it isn't good enough.

for example she started school this year and bm gave me the sob story about how she couldn't afford her supplies and such so i took sd and got her all sorts of crayons, markers, colored pencils, kindergarten writing pads, pencil box, trapper keeper, new tennis shoes, a folder she loved...and so on, and she was so excited about all if it but the next visit we had her she said she couldn't use any of the things i'd gotten for school because it wasn't "simple" enough and had on name brand shoes and said those were her school shoes and the only time she wears the ones i got at walmart is when she comes to our house.

needless to say, i know how you feel about no one helping your sd to see that she should appreciate you more for what you give her. i'm constantly dealing with that too. in my case there's going to be no changing bm's behavior, but the only way you're going to feel better is to talk to your dh and explain that it IS a big deal to you and since you don't have the bond he does with them you want to feel that special appreciation too. it's probably going to make your sd feel like she's done something wrong if you bring it up again now, but explain to your dh that in the future maybe you should both have your own card on your individual gifts so she's not so confused. good luck and i'm sorry you got your feelings hurt by this.