to just drop it, as it is really bothering you, and you have a right to be bothered. If you danced with another guy, and your DH would have a fit over it, then it sounds like things like this are NOT o.k. in your relationship, and he should not have done what he did. Some people say a affair/cheating, starts in the mind, some say it is done through actions.....it all depends on what you really believe in, that consitutes wether or not you consider dancing with someone els, cheating. Is that all he did? You both still need to talk about this, until YOU feel ok with it. jmo. ~ " I'm awful sorry you got pissed, just have to cross you off the list, of my true friends." PHISH~

I think some women see no harm in it, while others (like myself) would be hurt by it. I wouldn't say that it's "cheating" however. But in MY opinion, it's inappropriate. I say just let it go this ONCE. He apologized...that's all you can really ask for, in addition to expecting it to never happen again.

What type of things do they do on these "man trips"? Last time I checked, a chick is not a man, so if girls aren't allowed on these trips, why is he allowed to turn around and spend time with some girl? In my book, no, its not cheating, but it is WAY inappropriate. And I wouldn't marry someone that plans on continuing these trips once you're married. Honestly, I don't think married couples even going "out" without each other is a good idea, so no way would I agree to a trip. Putting yourself in a situation like that is just asking for trouble.

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

nowadays, going "out" without your spouse just seems to open yourself up to trouble, even for the most trusting of persons,so I agree, it is just better to avoid it, then there are no "questions". ~ " I'm awful sorry you got pissed, just have to cross you off the list, of my true friends." PHISH~

I have done similar things myself. I flew across the country (2wks) after my Wife and I married to spend time with one of my best friends and some of our other friends and ...... I danced my ass off with a bunch of women, in bars among other places, all weekend long.

Now for the rest of the story.

I was a Groomsman in his wedding and I danced with his sister, S-I-Ls, Aunts, Mother and even some ladies that I have no idea who they were at bars during evening get togethers.

Definitely not cheating in this situation.

When I was a road warrior both domestically and internationally in my career I was regularly invited to after hours activities in bars which included Asian Bar Girls who served drinks, and waited on the Men including actually feeding us horderves, etc ......

Cheating?????? I don't think so.

Once I was asked by my Boss to take a group of Asian businessmen out for the evening. I was recently out of college and agreed to the request.

Out for the evening ended up being ~9hrs at a strip club. I was extremely uncomfortable with that but showed the Clients a very good time that resulted in huge kudos and ultimately a very large order. Interestingly their "evening" was fully expensed by their company and they kept sliding piles of money at me because the young ladies at the club were giving me much more attention than they were giving the clients. I kept the drinks flowing, prime rib platters coming and the dances going (only for the clients) and at the end of the night there was much inebriated singing in the limo when I took the clients back to their hotel (alone) and there were several extremely happy young college students who went home that evening with a semesters worth of tuition money all funded by a large Asian multi-national conglomerate.

Cheating? No, but I felt uncomfortable enough that I did not tell my Wife for more than a year. And even then when I dished it was not planned. The "club" was next door to a kids indoor play park that we used to take our son to and I spilled the beans in a moment of inattention. We had been married less than three years and I did not want to upset her. I learned that under no circumstance is it at good idea to not divulge everything to my spouse. She busted my chops a bit and had way too much fun giving me crap about it every time we drove past the "club". Even today she will say "I hear they have really good prime rib at that place" with a totally snarky look on her face. My bad.

Generally I would not consider what initiated this thread as cheating.

My Wife does professional group ladies only outings that usually start in a happy hour setting which often includes dancing, drinking, wine and cheese, etc.... Then they all go to a play or symphony concert. I am perfectly fine with this as my wife is perfectly fine with occasional evening business outings and guys weekends for my friends and I.

I guess it depends on each relationship.

In our case we both are interested in what the other does when we are apart and we keep each other up on the evening activities when either of us have one. Neither of us cheats nor are we interested in cheating so for us this is not a major point of contention.

Interestingly, we talk more when one of us is traveling than we do during our usual routines. More calls, more e-mails, etc....

Neither of us asks for this increased communication. I think it is just each of us missing and reassuring the other.

Just my thoughts of course.

Good luck and best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

Doesn't most cheating start off as innocent?

I wouldn't mark him with a giant "C" for cheater on his forehead, but I really think he has more explaining to do....

"I aint no Carol Brady"