future possibility of a maybe blended family--do I want to?
Long story short--my husband died at 36 in an accident leaving me with a 2 1/2 yo and 5 mos pregnant. Along with that, 60% of our new home wasn't done and I could go on and on and on. BUT....here's the thing. I have been dating mostly guys with children. Been seeing a man for a couple of months or so. Enjoy his company...all is "good" in that category. His ex-wife sounds like a terrible person and a compulsive liar. My bf has primary custody if that says anything.
Do I really want to deal with the "future" issues of stepchildren, ex-wife, blended families, etc. Is it really worth it. The reason I am asking now is because my boys and I went to my bf's house and it was uncomfortable. His dtr was at a friends house and his son was outside playing with him. My boys adore my bf and want to hang all over him. It is hard to say no since he has been at our house a lot while he doesn't have his kids. But my bf's son was very upset and it felt like we were making his life worse. I really enjoy this man but I looked at him with tears in my eyes and said that I can't do it. I don't want to be responsible for hurting a child by coming into his life and turning it upside down. My mind is saying be done with him and dating but my heart says ?????
I just wonder...when and where does it end with men coming in and out of our lives. We are all still very much friends but ????
I won't lie to you. Becoming
I won't lie to you. Becoming a blended family is hard. It takes a lot of work. But the blessings definitely can outweigh it all if you do it right. My recommendation if you are serious is for you and BF to see a counselor for premarital counseling, someone who specializes in blended families. We did, and that helped us prepare for many early obstacles, but there will still be things that come up over time, that you didn't expect. The biggest thing is if you do become married, you and DH must stand on common ground. You must place that relationship before kids, and this is hard, otherwise the kids and skids will walk all over you.
Having a BM who is crazy will be very hard as well. My DH's ex is borderline/bipolar. She is a compulsive liar and is still bitter---even her parents are still bitter after over 10 years of them being divorced. I let him handle her most of the time, I pray for her, so that she doesn't get control of me, and so far I haven't killed her yet LOL, but it has crossed through my head. Fortunately there are forums like this where we can vent so we do get through.
Good luck whateever you decide
I'm sorry
Blended families can be a struggle depending on lots of different variables, and if one of which is a nutty BM, you are brave!!!
ALLLL that aside, I am so sorry for your loss. I really feel for you, I myself am almost 5 months pregnant and my husband rides sports bikes... so I can imagine the horror.
Good things will happen to you, you deserve it.