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Was the single life better?

lizdel's picture

I have read many articles on this site and I dont feel as bad as others have similar problems. I have only been married a few months and my husband and I lived together for a year. I reduced my working hours to help him do some night measures as he didnt have a car. (the ex has all of them). I cannot help but feel resentment that my husband was giving his 25 yr old son money behind my back. We are talking about $200-300 per week. I had collectors knocking at my door, I was paying for gas, food, accounts and with my decrease in hours was a nervous wreck. I told my husband that with my decreased hrs I will lose everything I have. Even though he has stopped sending money (only in the last month) I resent it!!!!!! Is this normal?
I have worked very hard bringing up my two adult children on my own. When things go wrong eg. car repairs I get so frustrated that his ex wife was given 3 homes by my husband and she has just bought a new one. He pays child support and in Aust it goes by income. She states she has no income even though she gets rent for 4 houses! my husband will not fight this issue with the child support agency as it is classed as an income here in Australia.
I worked as a RN for many years and now I am having to work nights cleaning as well to make ends meet.
I feel cheated! I feel at times that he cares for his previous family more than our relationship. All 3 of his adult children treat me with disrespect. If we visit his mum in the nursing home and they are there, they will not talk to me the whole time. They turn their heads away from me. I talk to my husband about this and he feels I am over reacting! Over reacting! I am human as well and have feelings. Sometimes I feel my single life as a mother was happier than this.

byebye's picture

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lizdel's picture

Hi Passion, sorry, I read what I wrote and I can see I did not explain it well. I have been upset and angry over the last few weeks and took it out in my wording. The brain is overloaded!!
What I meant was that reading others situations has helped me put my problems into perspective. I felt guilty and thought I was being bitchy with the step children but reading the problems of others, has helped me so much.
Your H sounds very understanding and supportive.
I am going to exert my rights as a person. Your comments have made me look at the situation and I thank you for that....

byebye's picture

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Rags's picture

Fast cars, vacations, girls, girls girls ......... It was AWESOME!

But, no where near as fulfilling as being married to my incredible soul mate.

Now, based on what you indicated your DH is pulling I would have the locks changed ASAP and give him an extreme bout of absolute clarity on how he will participate in your marriage or how he will get off of your property immediately. I would demand an absolute accounting of his income VS expenditures and let him know that if one more cent goes to his adult kids before his obligations to you and your marriage are fulfilled he will be sleeping on one of their couches.

When he married you he created a partnership that IMHO he is no where near participating in even remotely close to equitably.

Hang in there. He will either get a clue or hit the road. Either one is an improvement over his current state or Cranio-Rectitis.

JMHO of course.

Good luck and best regards,

Best regards,