7 year old Step Daughter at the center of it all...help!
Right here we go!
Basially I am getting to the stage of breaking point with my 7 year old step daughter. She is the youngest of 3 girls (the others are 10 and 12) and is constantly at the root of all the bickering and arguing that goes on between them all (and there is lots).
She is also very very rude and disobediant to her mum which makes me very angry. In a nutshell she never ever does anything that is asked of her, is rude at the dinner table and constantly talking back. It causes chaos and arguments for the whole house.
The other trouble is that the 3 girls still see their dad (should be a good thing) who unfortunately is very wealthy and lavishes them with expensive gifts and lets them get away with everything. He sees them every other weekend but that is an effort and basically his kids fit in his life instead of him fitting in with theirs and gets round them by letting them do what they like and buying them expensive gifts. For example they ALL got a Laptop, Ninetendo Wii and DVD players for Xmas.......crazy!!
Its my partner I feel sorry for most because she does not know what else to do with the youngest - she has grounded her, taken her mobile phone away (yes daddy bought it) and banned her from having friends round but to no aval as she is still loud, rude and the center of all the arguments.
I have tried a cple of times to be firm but of course I always get the 'it's nothing to do with you, you can't tell me what to do etc etc that comes back. My partner obviously tells her that it is but it doesn;t work.
Any suggestions on how we sort out this rude, flash, spoilt little girl??
Punishments
All I can say is---If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.
I know with my SD(7) it took a good while for me to figure out exactly what would make her behave.
When she was younger I would stand her in the corner of the kitchen on the bare floor with no shoes/socks on. Before I started this DH would let SD sit down in a chair for "time-out." I told him that having SD sit in a cozy chair wasn't going to make her mind. SD being barefoot on the hard floor (no carpet allowed) would straighten her out much faster. Although a lot of people may think it harsh, SD had to stand facing the corner until she could stop whining/crying/etc and be calm. Once she was calm she had to ASK POLITELY if she could leave the corner. If she tried to leave the spot while she was still upset she got walked right back. To this day she hates standing in the corner. But guess what---SD chills out and snaps out of the attitude a whole lot faster.
A few other things I do are charge her money (different amounts for different "crimes"), pull weeds (SD HATES this), help with others, no electronics (tv, games, etc), give toys to charity (if hit another person), etc. All of these seem to help.
My SD is very whiny, disrespectful, rude, etc when she comes over from her BM's apartment. Sometimes the best thing to do is ignore her til she can have a pleasant and calm conversation with me. If she starts up I tell her "When you can talk to me normal then you may talk to me, but not until then." SD usually chills out right away because she knows I will ignore her til then. If she yells I lower my voice to almost a whisper what I am saying to her. This way she has to hush to hear me.
Unfortunately, SD will have to go thru the whole process of becoming a pleasant person every single time she comes over to our home. It's just something that we have to deal with it. I am hoping that when SD gets a little older she will know that she cannot act like a brat when she comes to our house.
Good luck with your SD.
from my experience, when you
from my experience, when you have kids being so spoiled by a parent, it's impossible to get them to respect others. but she's young, at least that means she can still change