You would've thought it was a dead rat
Against my better judgment, I agreed to get BM a gift "from the kids" again this year because, as DH says, they like to get her something.
Well, of course it fell to me essentially to pick it up and pay for it. So I did, and arranged a darling little basket for her, having the kids sign the card.
She got it when DH picked up the skids on Christmas, and you would have thought from her reaction that something had died in it. She took it, sniffed, and dismissively dropped it on the kitchen table while my DH stood there and said, "It's from the kids."
This is the LAST year -- and I do mean the LAST -- that I bother with this garbage. If the kids want to buy BM something, they can hit up her parents for the money/transportation. I am DONE!!
Anyone else in the same boat?
I actually bought the gift
I actually bought the gift from SD AND one from my DH and I. I bought her a stunning pair of earrings and necklace that I let SD pick out. then I bought her two picture frames and put a pic of her and SD in them. The gift to her was a Christmas/wedding gift since she just got married. She's absolutely horrible but I'm not going to let her bring me down or make me act like someone I'm not.
If you don't feel confortable doing it (which I understand) then make DH do it. It should be his responsibility not yours.
We have nixed that by
We have nixed that by telling BM that we will be responsible for gifts that go to my fiance and his family and that we expect that she will handle gifts for her and her family. The kids were given money for Santa Secret shop at school and were also taken on a shopping night. He also told her that if she insisted on sending gifts to his family that she needed to do so via US mail. She had been making the kids "messengers" and have them take stuff to his parents (When they were with us)
BM
did the same to us. She only got us a gift the first Christmas we were together. I threw it in the garbage. Every year she has gotten DH's family gifts and sent them through the kids to distribute at the family Christmas. I am not sure if she got them something this year or not. She did not send them to our home. I had already told DH if she did, I was putting an end to it once and for all. If he told the kids that, I do not know. But all I know if that they did not bring gifts to our home.
you can't win
Sometimes, taking the high road and giving nice thoughtful gifts is just too much for BM's- it makes it really hard for them to bitch about it. She feels entitled to everything and even if we bought her Prada shoes, it wouldn't be enough. Even stuff the kids make for her at school isn't special enough. This was my last year organizing gifts for her or my ex because it's just isn't apprecaited or worth it.
As a mom, I know I can't get enough photos of my BK's so I assume the same from other moms. This year I went online and made a really cool calendar for BM with tons of photos of my SD's. Custom made for her, all about her kids and fun for my SD's to look at while they're at her house. Did the same thing for my ex for the same reason.
Now here's where the passive agressive stuff comes in. The photos also prominetly display all the fun the kids have when they are with us, something BM hate to admit, let alone see all year long. When asked, she barely acknowledged that she received it. Witchy, I know, but if it's not going to be apprecaited by them, maybe it can be entertaining for me?
Yeah I agree. I have made
Yeah I agree. I have made copies of pictures for BM of SD at our house not only because they are great pics but to show her that she does SMILE when she is there. I'm dealing with SD lying to BM about her time spent with us. She tells BM she is miserable with us but she has a blast every time. Plus she wont leave my side. So I try to prove her happiness as much as I can because BM only believes the 9 yr old!
I send BM the present every
I send BM the present every year for the past 4 years now and its done via the internet so I don't have to deal with her.
The kids get all the glory (or grief).
This is life.
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire
the way these bms are with
the way these bms are with us i think they deserve nothing. it has never even crossed my mind to get bm something from sd cause she does not deserve my time or money and if dh mentions it then he is for sure a DEAD MAN!
Wow, I am just amazed at the
Wow, I am just amazed at the kindness shown here these are really good ideas. I just am not even there I hope that someday I can be more like this. Talk about taking the high road, maybe after we are married I will feel more like I am a part of the skids life to take some kind of action... I know that BM will not appreciate it but, man I think the true gift that is being given is to the skids...