Do you ever just have to say something to the Biomom?
I know I probably shouldn't have said this but after years of biting my tongue I got brave the other day. My stepson had a soccer game on Sunday. Since it was his mom's weekend, she brought him to the game.
In my defense, it was really cold this weekend, so cold that my husband broke out his "big" winter coat.
As we were leaving the soccer game I noticed that my stepson did not have on a coat. I thought to myself, should I say something or shouldn't I. I somehow got a burst of bravery and as my stepson and his mother were walking in front of us, I said" (stepson), you left your coat back there!" "Oh, didn't you bring a coat?"
Well, stepson's mother turned around and looked like she wanted to bite my head off and spit it on the floor! She then said in a fake,almost bubbly, voice "no we didn't bring one today".
I know I should of just let it alone but I still don't know why he didn't have his coat. Her 2 year old daughter had a coat. I know he has a coat because we bought it for him.
Does anyone have any examples when you just couldn't bite your tongue?
Talking to Bio Mom
Oh, another thought. I only talk to her when she crosses my boundry lines, which, is often. Recently, she went up to the hospital where my husband was, he was all doped up. She actually tried to get him to sign a release of records! Then she had the nerve to tell my stepson, she would come here and help out, by making meals and cooking for him/us...Like that is going to happen...lol...She often gets the kids in the middle. She called one day and I told her, this was not an option. She actually wanted to here it from my hubby, I told her that was not going to happen either...This is when I put my foot down hard...hope that helps...
Way to go
I am glad you stood up for your boundaries! These exes will keep pushing boundaries and crossing them if no one steps up! I want me BF to set more boundaries with the ex...or I might have to start.
Occasionally bio mom calls...
and talks FOREVER. You would think she has nobody to talk to. I usually fill her in on what her son that I raised is up to, if he is in my area (or my house). He never tells her the truth so I am left to gently fill her in. Such as he started using cocaine and got picked up for breaking and entering, nudity, etc. typical cocaine tricks. He is 21. But if she calls him he paints a rosy picture for her. Once she actually called him the day his friends kicked him out of their apartment and he as over there collecting his stuff - he said he was just hanging out and playing guitar with friends. This call took place right when they were kicking him out!! Then she called me later and I told her what was really going on. I think it is really sad.
To Dawn, "Guys Don't Realize"
Dawn, I truly know what you're talking about. My stepson's mother, changes the schedule all the time, whatever fits her needs. I get upset because my husband agrees to the changes w/out letting me know. I am upset about her changing it all the time. The schedule needs to be consistent and not jumbled up all the time. My husband is afraid that if he lashes out, she might take him back to court and ask for more childsupport. I just can't stand it. She is so full of it!
To Happy Mom
Oh, the omnipresence of the court threat! It drives me nuts...My BF is finally setting some boundaries like asking the ex to pay for half his son's expenses...psyhco ex continually refuses saying that since she hasn't taken him to court for more money (which is a lie) he should pay for everything (like private school tuition, sports, ect.).She has threatened to take him to court this year....I will seek my StepTalk buddies for support if the time comes.. .