You are here

It's supposed to be menopause....I can't believe my life

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 8:55am

So, the last few months my periods keep spreading further and further apart like 35-40 days and more. Also, everything down there seems to be drying and 'shrinking' and painful....so since my mom started early I was convinced I'm in peri-menopause. Made an apt yesterday for next month so we can start hormone treatment since my vajajay seems so angry.

So, not thinking much of it- I decided this am to take a precautionary test- I have in the past when delayed periods just for peace of mind. I've been waking up wanting to pee like a racehorse and my boobs have been more sore then usual but thought -this is menopause- an extended form of torturous pms with no period to relieve the symptoms.

Took it- saw two lines off the rip-BUT was relieve because I thought the 2nd window had to have the + sign....got out of shower, double checked-still 2 lines- then check the indicators on it- there is no + sign on this, 2 lines means preggo- 1 line in control means not.

How the EFF does this happen, I'm 43! Peri-menopausal. I have bad eggs! We had another unintended pregnancy when I hit 40, and we miscarried later (during worst week of our lives) It was horrific to get over. Now I'm having to brace myself for another miscarriage....our 2nd pup that we were getting is due TODAY to be born- I want to be a mom dog, my kids are 17-18...I don't want another kid, I'll likely have to go through a miscarriage anyways and be sad all over again.

I've gotten to the place I'm happy with my life and it's direction. All DF and I could do was joke about it this am.

Now I'm at work- and going to head the clinic downstairs to get a blood test and have them check my progesterone levels. This is bullshit. It took me forever to get over our miscarriage...I'm not ready for this again or a child.

Yes, I stopped birth control about 3-4 months back- I was overdue an annual apt and the Dr. wouldn't re-up. But we used withdrawl as usual- except ONCE which was on the last days of my period so wouldn't think you're safe??? I have nobody to vent to except here.

I'm NOT happy about this. I wanted our 2nd puppy- and planning to buy acres to start a homestead ....I dont' need this curveball.

Comments

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 9:23am

This is basically how it went down for me, too, when I got pregnant with DD4 at the age of 42.

My menstrual was sporadic for a good year. I also wasn’t actively trying to prevent pregnancy either.

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 9:57am

Did you have older children? What is it like at that age? I mean I'm not even thinking we'll make it that far given the 1st miscarriage but in the crazy event you do----I mean ouch! Just when I feel like I'm getting my life back!

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 11:55am

I do, but out of the house and living their own life.

I love it. I feel I’m more prepared this round, and at this age, emotionally and patience wise. I have a 4 and a 2.5 year old. Back to back pregnancies. I didn’t have any problems like high blood pressure, or gestational diabetes.

Pear's picture

Submitted by Pear on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 10:32am

You have choices and I hope you examine all of them and make the best decision for yourself, whatever that may be. As a fellow 43 year old and I can safely say that prioritizing your happiness is not selfish.

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 11:11am

I know I have choices-but chances aren't good as it is. At my age my risk of miscarriage are like 60-70pct. They say chances of miscarriage decreases drastically after 6-10 weeks or you see the heartbeat. With our pinto bean a few years ago we saw the hearbeat-and when we did the 2nd ultrasound around 9-10 weeks they determined by size that we had JUST lost it so we made it to 9 weeks.

I felt AS upset and conflicted last time the 1st few days after finding out- then something just switched in me and I went from devastated to SUPER excited and happy and then the devastating blow a few weeks after. But I was 40, and I wasn't faced w/the issues my oldest son is having now-we hadn't lost his dad, or mine, or our family dog...it all seems very overwhelming and crazy.

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 11:31am

I know, that's my fear....and what if I do get excited and work through it and then find out at 4-5 months there's an abnormality (only reason for me to terminate)....just sucks all around.

So embarrassed- DF and I have been together for almost 9 years! And I go and get knocked up at 40 and 43?

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 11:48am

Really, 10 weeks? What's the test called? Yes, I have, because I thought about it last time. Yes, sadly it would matter for us.

ntm's picture

Submitted by ntm on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 12:29pm

My wish is that this turns into good news for you. Right now, you need to breathe and do all the sensible things you’ve made arrangements to do.

bananaseedo's picture

Submitted by bananaseedo on Wed, 02/14/2018 - 3:49pm

Thanks all! I went to the appt downstairs (love having a clinic here)- the urine test came positive...and they drew blood to check hcg/beta and progesterone.

I have an appt at the Drs near my home that I will go to on Friday-likely re-check hcg levels or maybe ultrasound by then depending on todays' test results.

We have a lot of talking to do to figure out what to do- She did discuss my options with me...apparently in my state you can't get the 'pills' except through PP and only up to 8 weeks-a very small window if you choose that route. WIll be an emotional next few days/weeks.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 02/15/2018 - 12:19am

"How the EFF does this happen, I'm 43! Peri-menopausal."

How do I explain this to you... How did this happen.. well Hon, you have a girl and you have a boy and they love each other and they get into one bed, then they do not sleep that night, they hummm wrestle like on WWE..... then a couple of months later the stork delivers a special little baby to these special wrestler....

Let me say, congratulations, whether you like it or not, you are in shock now, the prego test might be faulty, could be your hormones acting up, false pregnancy, get the blood test done, not that that thing helped me, showed not pregnant till the sonar said otherwise, Sending you hugs and peace... what will be will be and we are here for you Hon, I can tell you this, your kids will be more shocked and the skids will be furious, parents are not allowed to do the deed.....