And it's not his fault you decided to put yourself in a bit of a financial hole by pursuing your education. That unfortunately is the price you pay for going back to school (and one of the reasons many people can't afford to do so). Ask him to pay his fair share of child support for the relative amount of time he has DD. Whether or not he carries life insurance, his gf's job, or if they want kids is really none of your business.

Dup

I think that if he can financially provide for DD, he should take a higher percentage of parenting time to allow you to focus on school.

Considering what you've wrote, I think it's a huge risk to ask for child support. You two seem to have a pretty good thing going.

I know it's been mentioned... But a divorce happened... As long as nothing is actually harming DD his personal life and who he's dating and her ambitions really are something you should stay out of. It's not your business. He's not your husband anymore, he's just a co-parent, which means the only thing you have in common is a child and that's now the nature of the relationship.

That being said, if you need him to take DD more, depending on how often he'll have her, then it's fair to talk about CS based on that. If it reverts to roughly 50/50 then I don't think it's gonna work in your favor, you going to school isn't his business either, so talk about a new schedule with him, and if you still have her the majority of the time, then maybe discuss some kind of CS for the benefit of DD. Cuz I understand wanting what's best for her.

No matter what, the child support is for your kid, not you. It's not unfair to ask him to pay for his own child.

Have you talked with him about taking her extra? If not, I would start there and make sure he is agreeable to do that.

When you say he will need to take her more, is this going to be a 50/50 split? If so, it might be hard to ask for CS if he is keeping her and paying for her insurance.

I understand that you are taking a pay cut for school, but just as him financially supporting his GF is none of your business, your financial issues are none of his. It's not his responsibility to make up the difference in your income. Now, if the custody split won't be 50/50 and he should be paying CS, I would figure out that amount, present it to him, and see if you can negotiate somewhere comfortable if that is what you want.

Would it be more feasible to switch custody and for you to pay him some moderate CS and have EOWE with your daughter while in school?

Really, it comes down to helping maintain your daughter's standard of living as much as possible. If that means your ex pays CS, then he pays CS. If it means you switch custody, then you switch custody. If you two are amicable, then talk this out. It sounds like you are going to school in order to have better and more stable employment, so he may be willing to take on CS or more custody time if it means CS disappears in 15ish months.

Basically, it's not unreasonable to ask as he should be paying anyway. However, don't bank on him wanting to "pick up the slack" because you made a decision to change your life. If he says no, you may have to go the court route for CS and then come up with another plan regarding custody.

The fact that he is his supporting his GF is irrelevant. What the GF makes or does is irrelevant. Even if his GF made millions, it has nothing to do with CS.

You did the calculations and said he owes $110.00 a week. But then you say he is already paying $70.00 a week for childcare and pays all insurance premiums and $500.00 of insurance deductible. So he's pretty much already paying $110.00 a week correct? Or an I confused and not doing the math right? :?

Is your ex living local to you? If so, you might consider asking him to do the school year schedule where he has her Mon-Sun every other week (back to 50/50).

You said an online calculator, I assume one that has the guidelines/laws of your own state. $110 a week (appro. $440 a month) is pretty low CS for a CP with over 85% time. I'm guessing his wages aren't all that great.

Is there a present CS order? Or has it always been just something worked out between ex and you? A child is entitled via state laws to have both parents supporting them. If you were to go through the state and ask for a CS review and order. You mention overnights, so I will assume your state credits/counts overnights, also both parents income (or their potential for income). I'm not sure a drop in your own income voluntarily to attend school counts as a drop in income on your part. I'm in no way saying you shouldn't go to school and thrive to be all you can be, but some of what you are asking might be better run by a lawyer in your state that knows your guidelines/laws and in and outs of how CS is set (what counts and doesn't) in your state.

Being laid off, mandatory downgrade , a new disability and other types of circumstantial unavoidable income loss may not be considered the same as quitting your job to go to school would be. It is still your responsibility to support your share of the child. Yes, I realize you are and have been but you are now entering different territory where you will not be working and wanting ex to keep the child more. This is where going through the state might be your best and most fair option.

Your desire to pursue a higher degree, Dad maybe wanting to have additional babies, ex's GF's income or job or lack of really don't likely have a place in the legal calculating of your state CS. Those are all personal choices that have nothing to do with what the current child is entitled to and entitled to by both parents.

I suspect you will get various replies with various answers. All I am saying is go through a lawyer so you know exactly what to expect and how CS would/should be calculated for your daughter.

Also, whatever the time spilt and custody arrangement will be, should be filed even if only planned for 15 months. Having current filings protects both your ex and yourself. For example, I'd hate to be your ex to perhaps one day wake up and find he should have been paying CS for all nine of the years not just two because original CO/CS order had never been changed and filed.

I have a few thoughts on this.

I'll get the house keeping out of the way first:

GF's mental state and work situation is NOYB. How exH splits his finances is his problem.

You can't draw blood from a stone. If you know DH can't provide what you're entitled to, and you are entitled to it, then you have a decision to make. Either you want him to pay it to help stabilize your home-and you could do this completely and totally without guilt because it is how the law works and your daughter is entitled to that money-BUT you may also risk his not being as available either because the relationship sours and he's not feeling inclined to help you out and/or he has to work more to meet his support obligation. Are either of those things nice? No. Are they fair? Also no. Unfortunately it's one of those sucky situations you find yourself in as an adult and you need to think long and hard about what you need and how you need it.

Now, with those things out of the way, you are choosing to go back to school instead of work or school will severely limit your ability to do so. Take it from someone who has been there-the risk does not always justify the return. If you quit working to go to school, you see that as more of a justifiable reason for not working and not providing the sustenance that you have become accustomed to. But unlike GF you are doing it expecting a larger return in the end in the form of a better paycheck and a more stable life. It makes sense.

HOWEVER (please note the caps) any job requiring a BSN is going to also require experience working in the field. It's not one of those things where you can graduate and slide into an entry level positions because BSN's are not entry level nurses. Even if you get your BSN if you have no experience as an RN you will be working RN jobs until you get enough experience to sit in a position of a BSN. This means that when you graduate BSN program, if you do not work as an RN first for some time, you will have to work at an RN salary paying for a BSN degree. I tell my sister this all the time-think about that.

IMHO it would work out much more in your favor if you didn't rush back to school, worked as an RN gained experience WHILE stacking as much cash as you can for a rainy day fund for when you DO go for your BSN. Then you're not trying to bleed a rock and p*ssing in exH;s oatmeal. THAT in my opinion is the best way to ensure that your DD doesn't suffer.

I have been out of college since 2011. I plan to get my MSW eventually. Right now, it's neither lucrative or going to serve me and my family well financially. Sometimes the Higher Education game is like poker, you gotta know when to hold um and when to fold um. For me, it's not off the table, it's just not the wisest decision right now because the risk isn't worth the return. It will happen, but take it from someone whose parents told them to go to college and you'll be set for life-the cake is a lie.

I think both parents should be supporting their child. If you were going to continue to have your daughter 90% of the time, I might advise going forward with a discussion on CS given the fact that you were probably carrying a bigger load. However, it sounds like you are getting ready to need him to take more time for the next 15 months. So, it may not be the best and most opportune time to be asking to reset things. It sounds like he is making some contributions through the after care and health insurance and "other stuff".

What I think might be a better time to go back to him is AFTER you get your degree and things go back to you having more primary custody time (90%).

I know that it probably sucks to see that someone else is getting to just slack on by like his new GF does. I'm sure there is some amount of jealousy that you don't have someone able to chip in and make things easier for you. That being said, you are no longer his wife, so, that's not really his problem. I don't mean that in a mean way.. it just is what it is.

It's great that you are going back to school. I think what I would do in your situation is suck it up for the next 15 months and then revisit it once more normal custody for you resumes.

One additional thing to consider that has not been mentioned, many of the things your ex pays for (clothes, school supplies, etc) are typically considered expenses that child support is meant to cover. If you do enter into a formal agreeemnt for child support, he could - justifiably - say that he will no longer pay for those things as he's already paying for them through his child support. If you did ask him for child support based on your current schedule and then switched so he had more custody time later, he could go back and ask for a revision. In order to get child support under your current situation, you might need to legally change your custody arrangement.

Finally, be willing to pay and being obligated to pay are two different things. Your ex may be more willing to help out now because he's not being legally forced to do it (so there is still an element of free will and cooperation for him). Once he is required by law to pay, things might change for him, as feeling forced to do something is different psychologically than choosing to do something - even if the thing you're doing is ultimately the same.

What would happen to all of your incentives ?? You know the Single Mom money IF your daughter went to dads for 1 or 2 years? You do get that stuff, right?

Next question that is related to the above:
IF it came down to this would your x be ok with you saying daughter still lives with you at your address???

You may want to NOT stir stuff up in court because you may shoot yourself in the foot.

Unless your x's girlfriend is part of your court order proceedings--?? (doubtful) I will say it is unbecoming of you to bring her up in that way. Or any way for that matter unless she is a drunk or crack head. Gloves off then.

You do have an opportunity here to look good in court and to your kid. Ask x to take on Sunday-Friday and you will do weekends OR eow if you need weekends free to work??

JMO

Are you going for your RN?

I would also add that a judge might not be moved by the fact that you're asking for money now because you are choosing to take yourself out of the workforce and go to school. Regardless of whether or not your earning power is higher once you finish school, you're essentially asking your ex husband to cover your loss of income while you are choosing to leave the workforce for 15 months. So, you would be benefitting from his extra funding, because your earning power would increase. Typically, ex spouses are not expected to support the betterment of their ex spouse.

Typically, requests for child support as a result of voluntarily choosing to work less are not viewed very kindly by the courts. So, keep that in mind as well. If your ex husband wanted to fight you and he got a good lawyer, you could end up being penalized because of that. A judge may want to know why you couldn't continue to work to support your child, instead of expecting your ex to pick up the slack, so you could go back to school.

Sounds like you've been "nice" and given him several breaks over the years by not taking him to court for CS and letting him underpay. It's great that you can work things out now but just think about if he does have a child w/current gf, how much will he be able to contribute then? Even if he does have her closer to 50% of the time he should still pay his fair share. Remember that court orders allot the first set of children that file the largest amt of support while subsequent children get less and less.

DD will also be going off to college before you know it, if he has a hard time w/$110 a week how will he ever help w/college? My advice would be to file for CS now just to establish the boundary that he is financially responsible for DD regardless of what is happening in his personal life or if he has a second family. The flip side is that he may retaliate, file for 50% custody and go after you for CS if you make more than him in the future.

I know from personal experience that being a doormat and letting the other parent get away w/not fully supporting their children will bite you in the @ss eventaully.

Just to add to that nightmare scenario-

You are voluntarily reducing your income to go to school. But according to the law, your financial responsibility to your child trumps your desire to pursue more education.

So IF you do end up in court, either because you file or because your ex files, its possible that your support OBLIGATION will be calculated based on your previous job (the one you left to go to school.) When they calculate it, the court will ignore the fact that you are no longer at the job and will use your last tax return to determine your income. (His income will be based on his current job) Then the amount of overnights you both have the child for are factored in. This means your ex might actually legally owe you a lot less than you think he does, or if he fights for 50/50 and wins, you may end up OWING child support to him.

So think carefully before you burn bridges.