Not gonna happen
So BM apparently had to bring a friend up to our city for a doctor's appointment. The story was plausible and she asked if she could see the kids for a bit. SO said yes. She had them for about an hour. I was returning from the pool when she pulled up and could here son screaming in the car.
He was upset saying he wanted to go to mom's house which I understand. She could have done a bit better over all on handling it but I'm more upset about what she told him.
The kids have an appointment with the doctor and like in the past she will not let SO do it alone. So she's gonna be there. Whatever but then she's telling the kid MAYBE he can go to her house after.... um no. Maybe you can see grandma... Sure if she shows up at the appointment but why would we want to just stop by grandma's knowing your gonna be there too most likely and it's a good bet the short visit would just upset the kid.
He was a bit whiny when she finally put him down. I had SO get up to try and handle it because I knew the kid might need held if he got upset enough. Once inside he started up. First he said he was thirsty and wanted to cry when I said water instead of juice because he had a soda that he refused to take from his mom. He then started to cry about not getting to pick a movie. Told him I knew he was upset but he needed to pull it together. No threat of punishment just that I wasn't going to listen to him find things to cry about. Within 5 minutes he's in their room annoying big sister so all is good.
I do wonder when she plans to tell the kids about her most recent replacement for dad. They go to her for a short visit in two weeks then finish out their summer visitation the next week. It's been pretty good over all. A little trying at times but for the most part normal kids stuff.
I was supprised that daughter instantly cuddled up next to me on the couch once mom was gone. It was nice. She wanted to show off her sun glasses and I asked if she had fun with mom. She asked about the appointment and I told her it was just a check up. Kids been more cuddly with me lately. Nothing over board but like when I told them we were going to the pool she hugged me and said she wasn't letting go. I'm glad she's feeling like she can relax a bit.
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It's been eight? nine? days
It's been eight? nine? days since SS saw Mom? Yeah, I'm sure he misses her. At four I think it's pretty normal. Is this the first time it's been this long?
She's given in short visit in the middle of your SO's summer schedule and she is also getting the dr appointment (not typical) bonus, so I probably would have said 'no' to today's surprise visit.
This stuff is hard on such little ones. Poor kiddo is just getting use to resigning himself to seeing Mommy on schedule and in she pops. Reminds him how hard it is to be away and miss her.
You'll go through the same thing at dr appointment and also when it's time to come back from BM's short mid visitation.
What BM shouldn't do is make promises. It makes it harder on the child and makes Dad the bad if he steps in. Dad can't control what stupid stuff falls out of BM's mouth, but he might suggest to her to keep in mind how hard this is BEFORE she opens her mouth. This is Dad's time. Her 'job' during this time is to try and make the time easier on the kids. Not harder.
Venting on here is my way of
Venting on here is my way of letting go. It's annoying and it's nice to get to gripe for a moment then it's easier to let go.